December 18th, 2002

God Versus Ego (the human conflict)

Across the human spectrum, we all live. At one end is God….at the other, is the Ego. The fanatics who are at the extreme level of the God corner are willing to do anything…lie, cheat, steal, maim and kill, in what they consider to be “In the name of God.” It comes down to their way, or the highway, while portraying themselves as Messengers of the Almighty. To these people, anything goes, because in their minds, they are not only doing “God’s Work,” but ridding the world of those who believe differently. On the other side are the Egomaniacs…..just as deadly, just as threatening. They believe that there is no God…..they alone have the intellect and intelligence to solve mankind’s problems for us all. Egomaniacs cannot stay in a room for very long without creating a stage for themselves and denouncing all other points of view. This is the core problem of civilization.

We mere mortals have to choose where on the spectrum we live. For me, I totally believe in the existence of God, and as a Christian, Jesus Christ, while at the same time I recognize that my Ego must be kept in check as much as possible. Yes, I guess you could say that I try my best to find the middle ground….not being fanatical either way…..trying to be a fair individual in a world that sometimes seems quite chaotic. As I believe that it is important to not get obsessive about my beliefs, it is also critical to not forget that there is something greater than myself. Most of the problems of our world are caused by religious fanatics, and God-less individuals who see and believe in nothing more then themselves and the power they can attain. These two opposite types will do anything and everything to pull in as many people as they can to jump onto their bandwagon. History has shown this time and time again.

There are Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, etc…..many good people who want to make the world a better place. It becomes a responsibility to each individual to keep themselves in check to not go too far to the extreme on either side. Man is not an island unto himself….neither is he a world. We are all part of the Heavens.

I would like to share with you a personal observation of God Versus the Ego, and all that is in-between:

My father was a man of much knowledge…very well-read…a skilled navigator, and yachtsman. My Dad was the skipper on Humphrey Bogart’s schooner the Santana. Each weekend they would go out and wine and dine with Hollywood’s elite. As you can imagine, going back to work on Monday sometimes could be difficult. Over time, my Dad’s ego grew in stature. For a child, he easily resembled a towering figure. My father’s stories of his days with Bogie and friends were always the highlight of conversation at family parties. Believe me, his Ego was fully exposed. This went on for the better part of my life. Eventually we reached a meeting of the ways and developed a mutual respect. In his final year of life I saw something extraordinary….during his last summer on earth I visited him and upon entering his home I saw a look in his eyes that brought tears to mine. With one look, my father showed that the Ego had been stripped away, and the beautiful child that he once was could clearly be seen. My father, who wasn’t very religious, or spiritual during his life, faced death with dignity and humility. I spent an afternoon alone with him where we reminisced about the past and discussed the future. I thought to myself, wouldn’t it have been wonderful if he could have been like this all the time? The truth is, deep inside he was always that wonderful child….it was the Ego that kept it from coming through. The greatest gift a person can give is their heart without their Ego. Perhaps that’s what God expects of us all the while….to be faithful, confident, and humble. Faithful for belief, confident for the strength to achieve and prosper, and humble to appreciate.

The compass of life is there for all of us…we decide which direction we go. There will always be smooth sailing, or stormy weather…. he or she, with the right charts, will find their way home. God lives in all of us, and so too does the Ego. The challenge is to find the balance.

smooth sailing,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

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