There is an old saying that goes something like this “You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.” I beg to differ a bit. I think we do choose our friends of course, but we may also choose our families. I know that may sound strange, but as I believe God has a plan for all of us, I think that perhaps part of that plan is to bring us together with folks to overcome what has gone on before, and to heal the wounds of the past.

In the animal kingdom, it is fascinating to watch what happens to “blood relations.” A mother of newborn pups will turn her back on a puppy that she doesn’t raise. She will only take care of the pups that she has a hand in rearing. The first time I witnessed this I was a little shocked. What happened to “blood runs thicker than water?” Even in human relations, sometimes friends are closer than family members. Those who have close relations within their families are lucky people indeed, because there is no guarantee that just because you are from a particular family, you will automatically be close. When it does happen however, the saying “blood runs thicker than water,” truly applies. The loyalty that can take place between family, when the relations are good, is pretty astounding.

 They say that some in the animal kingdom will give up their lives to save their human masters. Do you have anyone in your circle whom you could count on to do that for you, if it were needed? For some, it is a family member…for others, it may be a friend. It doesn’t really matter….loyalty can come in all different forms. “Family,” when all is said and done, can be anyone we truly trust.

On a wider level, we are all part of the Human Family…but we often forget this. We become so involved in our own circles and our own problems that what happens to folks worlds away is mostly off our radar. Truth is, what happens to people on another continent does affect all of us…we are all inter-connected. I think that’s why people are so fascinated with the idea of life on other planets. For some reason, even though many of us don’t know, or care to get aquainted with, the folks living next door, or down the street, we are truly curious about the creatures that could be living many moons away from us! Strange, isn’t it?

Family…..the cousin in Kentucky, the Great-Uncle that started the grocery store in the 1800’s, the Grandma who taught you to tie your shoes….the friend who makes you chicken soup when you have the flu, the sister who always makes you laugh when you’re down, the co-worker who shares lunch with you once a week, and listens to your personal problems. People you count on…people you trust….people you love. Family.

Enjoy your circle,

Jennifer Avalon

© 2010 Jennifer Avalon

 Growing up I was always quite close to my maternal Grandma, named Eva. As a child we looked identical in our toddler pictures, and Grandma Eva would always stroke my hair and call me her “Peachy Pie.” I knew that meant she loved me. Many summers we spent at their weekend cabin built by my Grandpa, near the deserts of California, and often while we were there monarch butterflies would flit about under the big oak tree near the stream. When one would dance around us, Grandma would whisper to me, “Always remember, there goes a free spirit.”

 Fast track about 33 years later. I am no longer living amongst the palm trees of California, but am living in the concrete jungle of New York City, thousands of miles away from Grandma Eva. One drizzly afternoon while walking north on Lexington Avenue I suddenly felt a pain in my heart. I looked up at the street sign, which said 58^th and Lexington Avenue, and also checked my watch, 4:00PM, because I thought I might be having a heart attack. It quickly passed, but I hurried home. A few hours later my Mom called from California. Her opening line was “Grandma Eva passed away today from a heart attack.” I was stunned and said, “What time?” My Mom replied “1:00PM.” Well, if you do the math, the 3 hour time difference means I was feeling a pain in my heart at the same time as Grandma’s passing. Coincidence?

 Exactly 7 days later I was walking north on Lexington Avenue again, this time with a girlfriend. Suddenly I saw a monarch butterfly flit right in front of us…I said to my friend “Did you just see that?” and she exclaimed “Yes!” I looked up at the sign, and there it was, 58^th and Lexington Avenue, the same spot where one week earlier I had felt the pain in my heart, and my Grandma’s passing. Coincidence? I think not. It is extremely rare to see a monarch butterfly in mid-town Manhatten…or in New York City anywhere, actually. In fact, I have never seen a butterfly in the city ever, before that, or after.

 Was Grandma trying to tell me she had become that “Free Spirit” she always pointed out to me, as a child? Was she first reaching out to me in her pain, and then a week later letting me know her joy? I think so. Why is this important? Because in this crazy world that seems so upside down at times, I find comfort in knowing some things never change…the Love between a Grandma and her Grandaughter can transcend time and space and circumstance. The Love between all of us can do the same.

 With those we love it is important to find the common denominators…those things that we will always remember as memories of one another…because I believe it is those little (or big) things that will be used as love notes later….when we need those whispering embraces the most.

 Share the whispers,

love,

Jennifer Avalon

 © 2010 Jennifer Avalon