Down the street from where I live is a high school athletic field. The man in charge of maintaining the field is named Bill. Bill has had this job for some twenty years, always making sure that the grass is cut, and the stands are clean for the festivities each Saturday. During the week as I pass by I always see the football team running their drills and working out while Bill looks on with a smile. At the local coffee shop, each morning Bill is guaranteed to enter at eight in the morning to pick up his two containers of java. He always has a kind smile, and a kind word for my three little dogs. One morning Bill sat down on a bench with me and shared a story I would like to pass on to you….

“Every year these muscular football types parade themselves onto the field thinking that they have all the answers” said Bill, “They look at me, a sixty-two year old man and say “Hey Pops, how’s it going?” I say “fine”, smile, and think to myself “Age is deceiving.” After school, as three o clock rolls around the football team begins their four mile jog. One day they asked “good old Bill” to join them. I said hey, why not? What they didn’t know is that Bill jogs around the field three miles a day. So the jog begins….the full squad of football players take off and leave me in the dust, snickering and laughing as they bolt ahead. I myself proceed ahead at my own pace…the same pace that I have maintained for the past seven years I’ve been running. As I carry on running, one by one I pass each member of the team…what they didn’t realize at the beginning was that the full burst of energy they showed was supposed to get them through the entire run. There is alot to be said for timing, pace, and endurance. Youth is a burst of energy…..but as we age hopefully we begin to understand that those bursts cannot be freely wasted.”

As Bill returned to the field he waited for the football squad to trickle in. They headed over to the bleachers where Bill was sitting and asked him, “Hey old man, how on earth did you do that?” Bill replied,”You may be stronger and faster than me, but without experience it’s hard to tell the beginning, the middle, and the end.” Bill also added, “I’ve learned in life you must neither go too fast, or too slow…the center becomes your friend….and the more you embrace that center the easier the journey.”

I think all of us somewhere along the line have met a person like Bill. Each story is a treasure.
Take the time to listen,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each New Year, one of the first resolutions you read about is the “after the holiday diet” to shed those excessive pounds. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could eat to our hearts desire….but eventually we realize there is a price to pay for eating the wrong kinds of foods. One of the largest selling topics in the book world is the diet book. People spend large sums of money to take care of their physical appearance…no amount is too great for the perfect physique in a world where you can never be too thin. It’s everywhere…magazines, television, etc., telling us all how to look, how to dress…practically how to smile! But one thing is missing from all these suggestions …….how to “think.”

The greatest asset we have is our mind. How we develop our minds has an incredible affect on our quality of life. Our habits, jobs, education and role models have a profound affect on who we become. Where there is abuse of the mind, there is abuse of the soul. One of the worst crimes that a person can commit is to stop somebody from growing. We build prisons to lock people away physically, but how many people are imprisoned in dysfunctional families and abusive relationships? Yes, there are television programs and books on addictions, phobias, and family relationships, but how do all these problems begin? Two of the most important and hardest jobs in life is that of Mother and Father. They set up the structure of the family. They are the planters of the seeds that are to blossom and bear fruit. How do they learn to be parents? From their parents, of course. Everything works well if the structure is healthy…but once it is invaded by infection, if help is not administered to heal the wound the disease progresses. For example, alcoholism and drug abuse have been known to run havoc through families. These families have found that to them this is the best way to deal with pain. Growing up we’re all influenced by our friends, and communities. The family, for many of us, becomes the last line of defense. The stronger the family, the stronger the defense.

This week whether you’re a mother, father, sister or brother ask yourself, “What way can I make my family stronger?” In your marriage, friendships, and other relationships, also ask, “How can I help the communication and growth become better?” If you are being abused, seek help. You deserve better than that in life.

All of us have a responsibility to monitor and observe what we let into our minds, and those of our children, because eventually it becomes a part of who we are tomorrow. Develop your own filtering system…what’s “cool” and “hip” may not necessarily be good for you or your kids. Many times, unfortunate situations can be avoided if caught early. I’m all for freedom of speech, but it ultimately falls on each one of us on whether we accept an opinion or disagree with it. As we all know, we can hear a lousy song on the radio but after fifty million times of hearing it, it starts to sound “okay.”

Take the time,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Faith is the belief in Oneself and of a Greater Picture. Faith is the understanding that the world does not revolve around Us, but we revolve around It. Faith is the belief that we can be part of the Problem, and part of the Solution. Faith is seeing that there is a purpose to Life and a reason for its Existence. Faith is coming to terms with your own position in the Universe and how your actions affect its outcome. Faith is realizing that in the end, the Love that you’ve contributed is all that matters.

I believe that these are the intentions of why we are here. Perhaps one day we can all realize that God sees us as truly all His children and a wonderful Human Family that someday, hopefully, will understand that we are all Citizens of Heaven. Yes, I know many out there believe in different religions…what do we do with those who see things differently than us? Do we scorn them, persecute them, crucify them? Or do we embrace them, hold out our hands, and say “I know I don’t see the world the same way you do, but what do we have in common….and let us build upon that.” During the Cold War President Kennedy was asked, why do you even bother to listen to Chairman Kruschev of the Soviet Union? Kennedy replied “I don’t really have a choice….if I refuse to continue dialogue with the Chairman, it will simply be the end of the world.” To me, President Kennedy, in this case, could see that swallowing his pride and ego was vitally important for the safety of mankind. Each year the world is faced with the same dilemma. As we close out this millennium we look back on a century of two world wars, and far too many motherless children to mention. What have we learned?……What, we don’t really know.

As Faith enters the twenty-first century with tools such as the Internet, the Citizens of the World move closer in dialogue, thought and feeling. A person who subscribes to my newsletter recently shared with me a wonderful story. She and three other people enter a chat room each week on Saturday. They share their stories, jokes, tears and revelations. None of them know what each other looks like, but the Love between them grows week to week. These four people are from different parts of the world and in June, they will all meet together for the first time in London, England. Four people who perhaps would never have “met” and maybe would have even passed each other by on the street, now tell each other how they see the world and themselves. A wonderful case where minds meet before bodies.

Faith exists, Faith lives….Faith is the tool that God has given us to change the world.

Keep the Faith,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each day I watch my three little shih-tzu dogs bound through the door into the snowy back garden. On the left hand side of my garden is one mountain of snow, a peak that rises to the level of my kitchen window. Every morning the dogs look at the mountain of snow and nuzzle each other’s noses, perhaps saying to one another “Look, look at this mountain…is there any way we can climb to the top?” One by one each dog takes a turn at climbing to the top, but each successive attempt is met by failure. Those of the faint- hearted would surely have given up….but not my three little dogs. They believed they would find a way to reach the top.

The three dogs range in size. Elsie, who is the oldest, portrays herself as a mother hen. Her word is sacred to the others. Elsie sets the rules and the daily schedules. Freddie is the male dog. He prides himself on being a security guard, and a master-at-arms. The baby of the three is Phoebe…the smallest physically but her determination is fearless. As each one took their turn at trying to conquer the mountain of snow, it was little fearless Phoebe who battled the ice and dug in her toenails to conquer the mountain. As I watched, Phoebe stood on top of the mountain, letting the wind blow through her hair, like an explorer who has succeeded at their goal. What a sight indeed! Freddie and Elsie looked at each other and said perhaps “We will have none of this….we are being upstaged by this pip-squeak!” Suddenly Freddie headed up the mountain, coached and encouraged by Phoebe at the top, and lo and behold, Freddie too reached the summit. As you can imagine, eventually Elsie too made the pilgrimage to the top. As I observed through my window at my three dogs, feeling like true successes, they looked in at me, for me to notice and acknowledge what they had done. I guess to them the world looked very different from the height they had they risen to. But the pride and joy that I saw in their eyes was priceless.

Why is this important? Because in this case it was the smallest and most fragile dog who made it to the top first. But instead of gloating and telling the other two to go back, she encouraged their climb to her level. Yes, I know Phoebe loves her other two siblings, but maybe she understands that what good would be the climb if it could not be shared by all? I know many of you out there have pets of your own…and I know you too understand what I’m talking about. What we learn from our animals every day in many cases we carry over into our own lives. The intelligence of these creatures is sometimes mind-boggling. It’s truly understandable why these creatures are called “man’s best friend.” Others, too, receive equal rewards from cats, birds, fish, etc. Pets can teach us things about our own humanity. We don’t have to be the strongest, or greatest, to rise to the top and spread a little joy around.

Spread some joy,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Boy does time fly! And how! Sometimes you feel like you’re on a runaway train called Life that doesn’t quite know it’s destination. As each week rolls around, by the week-end we look back and realize that if we’re lucky, we got through about half of the things we wanted to accomplish. Month after month, year after year, suddenly you find yourself saying, “Enough already, I’ve got to do something about this.” I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. We talked about the saying “Time flies when you’re having fun,”…..my friend also added “Isn’t it funny, as you get older time flies even when you’re NOT having fun! It just “flies!”

I carry around with me a pocket calendar that I keep in my purse. Each week I add to the days what it is I need to do for that week. Lo and behold, it starts to become very interesting when you look at your life on paper. All your comments, all your appointments, right there in front of you, in your own handwriting, wrapped up in time, dates, and places. This little calendar I have greatly helps me come to terms with the time that flows through my life. $19.95….is a small price these days to pay for help on any level, but my trusty little calendar is always there to support my memory of what I must do. Especially these days many of us need to squeeze as much time out of every moment as we can. Surely there must be a way to slow time down?

A couple of nights ago an electrical blackout engulfed the wintry village I live in. Everything, without a moments notice, went dark. As I searched around for my flashlights and candles I noticed something interesting started to happen. My house felt like it was regressing back in time. The candlelight projected shadows on the walls that made my home feel softer and warmer. Even my little dogs quietly sat back in their beds and enjoyed the display of light. For me, time slowed down, life became simpler and very focused. I started asking myself, do I have enough food, do I have enough water, can I stay warm? These are the things that mattered, not “Oh darn, I’m going to miss my favorite television show tonight,” or “The microwave is out of action tonight.” All I cared about was that we were safe. As we progress from the natural elements into man-made elements, does time speed up with the more we take on, and is simplicity left behind?

Cars, trains and airplanes are here to make our lives easier….there is nothing wrong with that. But could it be it is us who are losing sight of the “moment.” With our hustle and bustle, hurried-up lives we organize moments into groups where eventually one single moment can no longer be seen. The moment becomes truly taken for granted, until pain acts like smelling salts to wake us up.

Each night I think it’s important for every one of us, when possible, to look back on the day that has passed…take a few breaths and slow the body down. A wise man once said, “One of the hardest things to do in life is to become a better person.” Each morning I believe many of us set out on that path. We may fail sometimes, but some days we succeed. Yes, time flies, but how fast in the end is truly up to us.

Take the time,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Peace of mind, security, a sense of purpose and inner fulfillment are some of the things people spend an entire lifetime trying to capture. Some have traveled the four corners of the world to seek the answers to their questions of life. Each one of us could spend a million dollars to try to find the meaning to some of our inner questions, and still come up feeling shortchanged. Many of us look outside, believing that at the end of some rainbow there is that pot of gold, with all the secrets of the Universe, while perhaps those secrets are inside each one of us. Maybe that’s the way God planned it….so that no matter how rich or poor, each individual would have within his or her grasp the knowledge of the Heavens.

The entertainment mogul David Geffen told an interesting story about his outlook on life, in his autobiography. David spent many of his early years managing artists like Laura Nyro, and Crosby, Stills and Nash. He believed that once he made ten million dollars all would be well and all of his problems would be solved. One day while on the road in a hotel room David Geffen was informed that his net value had now exceeded ten million dollars. Upon learning this information, he looked around the hotel room and realized he was still the same person, and in some way, his problems had just become different. At that point David had a nervous breakdown. Many of us believe that with the right amount of money or possessions our lives will be “just perfect.” Not necessarily so.

To obtain inner peace and continued contentment we must carefully monitor our spirituality to make sure that our souls are being fed. Just like the body needs food on a regular basis, so too does the soul need reflection, prayer, and healing. When we are sick, we seek out doctors to heal our bodies of disease and infection. Some of us meditate to relieve the stresses of the day. But so few of us take the time to heal the wounds of our souls. I believe without these wounds being healed it is next to impossible for a person to sustain inner growth and stillness of mind.

Sometimes the most rewarding thing we can do for ourselves is to sit alone in a room, tell ourselves it’s okay to laugh, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to love ourselves. Inside our hearts are the tools that are needed to heal the wounds of the soul. I’m afraid they can’t be purchased at the local hardware store…but maybe that’s the way it was meant to be. The journey to healing the soul is one that someone can start any day.

Take the time to heal,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

We all experience different kinds of bonding in our lives. In some cases the interactions pass by without us truly noticing something important took place. If you’ve ever witnessed a group of men around a television set on a Sunday afternoon, rooting for their favorite team, you know what I mean. At first all is quiet….gradually emotions begin to escalate from the performance on the field and before too long there are cheers, boos, bear- hugs, and high-fives. Once the game is over, in some cases friends are made for life. Each week at arenas and stadiums around the world fans rush to support their favorite team. It’s an interesting experience to watch twenty- thousand people cheering for the same team. I guess you could call this “extreme bonding!” (smile) but bonding it is!! As the crowds file out at the end of the game perspiration and relief shows on many of the faces. It’s easy to ask yourself, “How many people actually played in this game?” Hopefully fun was experienced by all.

I, being a female, love to “bond’ with my girlfriends over shopping and some coffee or a snack. There can never be enough stories or tidbits of advice. We are proud that we feel we keep the “homefires burning”, and we share this common bond. Many of us use food, sports events, or movies as a way to get together and “connect.” We may not say we love each other, but in a way, aren’t we?

Children form bonds with playdates, and participation on teams at school. It can be as simple as a person sitting next to you in class and one day a casual smile or word can form a friendship for life. We all visit the local supermarket, deli or coffeeshop. You walk through the door and standing around are a few people shooting the breeze for the casual ear to hear. It could be talk about the weather, politics, or front-page news….but before too long you too are drawn into the conversation. I usually leave these places with a smile on my face, grateful to know there are others who take the time to have a point of view.

We all go through life feeling we are so different, but through bonding we discover many of us have the same problems, and crave the same hopes and dreams. Although society, for better or worse, places us into groups, the awareness of our ability to bond can break down the walls that separate us. It may be a wink, a nod, a smile or a “hello,” but it says “I care” and “I too am a part of the human family.”

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each year during this Holiday Season quite a few families get together to exchange presents and to share kind words. Also during this season a number of people find themselves alone. I thought this year to make a few suggestions in how to make the holidays more enjoyable and reflective.

Together
One of the most important things for us to do on this holiday and all holidays is to preserve the memories of these occasions. If possible make sure there is a camera available….or, even better, have a video camera. While these devices are recording they may not appear to seem like treasured moments at the time, but as the months and years roll by they become priceless documents of our lives. Around the trees and fireplaces feel free to share family stories….a wonderful way to fill the home and surroundings with laughter. Many of us only get to see certain friends and family members around the holidays. Make the most of it, and remember to share some Love because as we all know, someone next year may be missing.

Alone
For those of us out there alone this time of year don’t wallow in despair….create your own celebration. Go to the store, shop for some goodies, rent a video…and head home to sit back on the couch and surround yourself in your own atmosphere. Some other suggestions for those by themselves…..turn on the trusty old computer, visit some of your favorite websites, or send an E-mail or place a phone call to a few friends. One nice way to never feel alone is to have a pet…bird, dog, cat, goldfish, etc. They become family. If you need to get out of the house, and feel the urge to give, visit a children’s hospital with stories or gifts, or help serve food at your local church or synagogue…there are people much worse off then you.

Many of us are blessed, but because of our problems we forget. We as human beings are only really here for a short while. Embrace those you love, cherish the memories, try not to dwell on the “down” moments…there always seems enough of them to go around! even during the happiest of times. This Holy season is a perfect time to look back and plan ahead……and give thanks.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from my heart to yours,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We all have our goals, dreams and ambitions. We all want to succeed at something, somewhere along the way in life. In most cases, it is rarely mentioned that the road to success doesn’t necessarily come easy. Flashed before us each day on television are an array of personalities labeled “the best that can be.” But as we peel back the covers, the stories are revealed to show that the climb up the ladder was not always smooth. Perhaps it is true “good things never come easy,” but they can and do happen.

I could sit here and say that once you set in motion a plan or a goal, that everything is going to go your way and family and friends will be so happy that they will leap for joy and unconditionally give their support. Yes, many of us do have friends and family that do smile with approval, but just as many don’t. That’s just plain reality. As the Bible quotes “The Truth shall set you free.” Once we accept this scenario, the defense mechanisms are in place to protect us from most surprises that come our way. Our expectations stay grounded. An example is a story I heard from my local convenience store owner, Jack. About ten years ago one of his customers won three million dollars in the state lottery. The first thing his customer did with his winnings, believe it or not, was to purchase the most expensive, best-looking hairpiece for his head. It always bothered him that he had lost his hair at an early age. So Jack said to the lucky-winner “Oh boy, I bet you lost alot of friends since you’ve won the money.” A sadness came over the winner’s face. He said, “Friends I have, it’s family I lost.” He went on to mention, “You would not believe how many people hit me up for money in my family. I never expected this to happen…..but if I realistically gave everything that they asked for all the money would be gone. Not only do you hear from brothers and sisters, but also second and third cousins whom you’ve never met.” What the winner eventually decided to do was to set up a living trust fund for his children and grandchildren. He had to accept the fact that from here on in some in the family would not have a kind word to say about him. Many of us, once in awhile, purchase a lottery ticket…but do we ever stop to think, or are we prepared, for what can happen if we win? The same can be said for our own successes….just be prepared.

The backbone of most endeavors is hard work, planning, and determination. Sometimes we may feel like we have a hundred people with us….other times we feel totally alone. What keeps us going is faith, belief, and focus. These are the ingredients that can sustain us through any storm. Hell may break loose around us, but if we “stay the course” we will not lose sight of our destination.

We’re really not much different from trains, boats and airplanes. They start their journey toward a destination…..and onboard are maps, time schedules, weather information, etc. Before setting off they must know where they’re heading and expect to arrive. To the best of their ability, they are determined to get there.

Life IS a journey…..choose the ride wisely.
Love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Every one of us at some point in our lives gets overwhelmed by the pressures of everyday life. In many cases family and friends depend on us to carry out our daily duties in a timely fashion. Things don’t always run smoothly, and one mistake can spill over to others, and before too long our mountain of errors can look like something that is almost impossible to overcome. We become our own worst critic. Life is not perfect….we are not perfect, and at some point it’s okay to say “Time out, I need a break.”

A car can be driven for miles, but eventually the gas tank has to be refueled…so too the body and soul. To take time out doesn’t mean you’re a “quitter”..it’s not a sign of failure. Even the most successful people will tell you, to get to the next level sometimes you have to recharge the batteries, to provide the thrust to soar through the clouds. The body can only be driven so far without a rest…after awhile judgment becomes hazy, and the immune system, on overload, finds it harder and harder to keep things running healthy. Perhaps inside our bodies are meters that can easily tilt towards the red. It’s up to each one of us to not let that happen…to “cool the engines.” We can only go so far on “overload.”

Each week plan ahead….jot down each day the important things you want to accomplish and while doing so ask yourself, is this too much for me today? Probably you are the only one who understands what you have to accomplish on a daily basis….be kind to yourself. We all ride on this merry-go-round of life….some can take going around ten times without a break, while others can only handle five. It’s a wise person who knows when to say “I need a rest.”

We love our friends, we love our families…we want to be good citizens…we don’t want to let anyone down. Sometimes these tasks become difficult for any human being. We watch the evening news and after awhile our minds start tuning out. We read the daily newspapers and more and more find ourselves gravitating towards the entertainment and sports sections. Why? Maybe it’s our mind’s way of saying “I can only take so much.” We can’t stop the world, but we can stop ourselves from overloading on it. Whose life is it, anyway?

Rest and Relax,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon