This past week two totally different stories engulfed the headlines of the evening news. Both, as of today, ending up in the determination of life. Little Jessica Lunsford was kidnapped and murdered by a pedophile who was staying across the street from her home. At the same time, a judge ruled that Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube was to be removed so that she can starve to death over the course of the next few weeks. Cases like these are becoming all too common. And these two cases in particular may redefine the rights of life, and how to protect them.

Children are in need of protection now more than ever. The kindly stranger who once was trusted now has to be looked upon as a potential attacker of the innocent. The Jessica Lunsford case, like so many others, has left parents scratching their heads, wondering, “Who can we trust, and how much?” The man who killed Jessica was a registered pedophile, but little did that help Jessica’s family in knowing that he was staying right across the street, within striking distance. The rights of Jessica were violated. Society failed her. Pedophilia, from what I understand, is an incurable disease, so pedophiles must be monitored at all times, either with an ankle bracelet, or some kind of system that determines their constant whereabouts. In my view, they have lost their right to privacy once it has been proven they have violated a child.

Terri Schiavo has been fed intravenously for over 15 years. The case has gone through the courts…on one side is her husband, who wants the tube removed…on the other side is her family, who wants it to remain. Terri can breathe on her own, and from all accounts, is not on medications, but she has been deemed by a number of doctors and experts as brain dead. Yet, her eyes open and close, she breathes air through her lungs, and can make sounds through her mouth. Before succumbing to this condition, Terri did not write any conditions down on what was to be done if she was to ever come to that state of being. Terri’s husband has said that it was Terri’s wishes that she be allowed to die, if she arrived at that condition. Her family disagrees. This weekend the United States Congress has met in a special Saturday session to draft a bill that would be signed as soon as possible by the President to instruct the judge in the case to reinsert the feeding tube. This coming week the latest chapter in what we consider the Protection of Life will begin to be written.

What scares me the most is the slippery slope that we may be embarking upon. One has to ask themselves, how many defects are “allowable” before we deem a person so incapacitated that termination of their life is acceptable? Are stroke victims, or brain damaged individuals who cannot feed themselves, or be of clear mind, next? As a society, what we now consider horrific, is it possible to eventually arrive at it’s doorstep? Being kept alive on respirators for an indeterminate amount of time is one thing, and signing Health Care Proxies is another, where one’s wishes are known, no matter what they are….. but starving people to death is unmerciful. We always assume that loved ones will know the right thing to do….well that decision sometimes can get real cloudy. A person of sound mind at any time can sit down and draw up a document stating what procedures are to be followed if they are incapacitated or at death’s door. It’s easy and it’s simple, and should be notarized. Then our wishes rest with us…otherwise, we leave them for someone else to decide.

Life and Death….issues that we struggle with daily. There are no easy answers. Yet we must strive to be humane as much as possible.

love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

Life is one big freeway…traffic flowing back and forth. We use these highways as a way to get from one destination to another. Each day many of us incorporate these roadways as a part of life…yet, underneath the surface there is a far greater highway in existence…one called the “Human Highway.”

So what is this Human Highway? Well, here goes…on one side of the road are the “abusers”…on the other, the ‘”abusees.” And right slap dab in the middle is the “divider”…the middle ground. We become one of these three in Life. So let’s address each one individually:

The “abuser” is a person who has to have total control over all situations…they have to feel that their opinion reigns over all others. The abuser’s wants and needs supersedes those of wife/husband, family, and friends. Every decision, thought, and action is geared towards the accomplishment of what’s right for them. Gifts, blessings and kind words are given under false pretenses, as a form of deceiving an “abusee,” so that the abuser can get more. The abuser is the ultimate emotional blackmailer. They set up their lives to make all roads lead to them. With all this manipulation going on, what they don’t realize is that it is totally self-destructive. One habit that the abuser always reveals as a show of hand, is that once someone catches on to their plans, they abandon the person and replace them with someone new…kind of like when a lightbulb burns out, and it is replaced with a new one. The abuser is so caught up in themselves that they lose full meaning of the word “Love.” In some crazy way, whether they care to admit it or not, they look at others as nothing more than “work ants” for their causes and needs.

The “abusee,” on the other hand, is completely the opposite. Most times they are kind, sensitive, and peacemaking people. They don’t like conflict, they don’t enjoy turmoil…they try everything in their power to make people happy. This person is who the “abuser” makes a bulls-eye for. The “abusee” will sacrifice time and time again for the “abuser,” even blaming themselves when anything goes wrong, or anything brings a frown to the face of the abuser. Some abusees are able to break free from this affliction, after a little while…while others may take years, if not their whole lives. Unfortunately, after a while being emotionally beaten can start to become normal for the abusee, and they can start to forget that anything is wrong. They accept their position willingly, unless something jolts them back into reality.

The “divider,”… this is the point and the position where abusers have realized what they are doing is wrong, and have given up part of their power to compromise and share. The point where the abuser acknowledges that there are goals, dreams, opinions and feelings other than their own. At the “divider,” the abusee comes to the conclusion that few of their opinions or feelings were ever respected, and step by step they start taking a grip of the reigns of their life and reestablishing control over their destiny, while not becoming abusers themselves. For abusers and abusees to make the journey to the divider, most importantly they have to accept that they have a problem.

Is it any wonder why there are so many problems in the world? This Human Highway crosses all boundaries…rich, poor, young and old. Without the right physical and mental structural foundation to build upon, it is practically impossible for any of us to accomplish what we deem important in our lives. Here are three quotes that represent examples of the three parts of the equation. The “abuser”: “Some people get what they want, some people don’t.” The “abusee”: “It makes me happy to see you happy,” and, the “divider,”: “Let’s sit down and compromise.” These three quotes represent fully the three different viewpoints.

As I’ve said, most of the world’s problems can be broken down to basic fundamental issues. There are no mysteries why man has only progressed so far…but until we begin to look at the root causes, nothing will ever change, no matter how much we try to wish it away.

There’s always room at the divider,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

It has been roughly 2000 years since the death of Jesus Christ. Each succeeding generation has tried, and many times accomplished, to improve the quality of life of the whole. In doing so, we have also sharpened and fine-tuned our weapons over the previous generation. Sticks and stones gave way to bows and arrows, which gave way to swords and shields, which evolved to guns and bombs, until now, where we are at nuclear proliferation. Mankind, in it’s “wisdom,” with each step, gives and takes from life. Yes, indeed, we have fully “upped the ante.”

This past week I rented a video that was made in 1970, called “Colossus.” A little cheesy, but the message was quite powerful. The United States decided that it was going to turn over its entire national security and nuclear weapons program to a computer complex known as “Colossus.” On the day of the unveiling the President and the inventor of the program stood around for photos and a press briefing. They believed that Colossus would not be able to make the same mistakes that mankind would, and the world would be a safer place. The same day as Colossus was launched, Colossus discovered that the Soviet Union also had a computer complex to do the exact same thing for them. The United States was in shock, but they were not prepared for what came next. Colossus informed the Pentagon that it was aware of the other system and it wanted to communicate with it. The Russian system was called, “Guardian.” Colossus and Guardian communicated back and forth for hours….at a certain point the United States and Russian governments started to get concerned that they felt cut out of the loop, so they decided to pull the plug on both computer systems, at the same time. Colossus and Guardian got wind of this, and simultaneously launched two nuclear warheads aimed at both countries. The computer systems threatened that they would allow the missiles to reach their designated targets unless they were both allowed to continue to communicate without human interference. Time and time again both countries tried to secretly shut down both computer systems….each time they failed. Finally, Colossus and Guardian announced a joint message….that there would be world peace and no more famine, as long as they were in control. The price for noncompliance? It would be the launch of all nuclear warheads, one by one. This did not sit well with the governments of the world. Wasn’t world peace and the end of famine important? What was revealed in the movie was that to the powers that be, control was far more important than world peace.

As we go forward in time, how many more ways do we have to find to destroy each other before we feel safe? Can safety be fully guaranteed in 2005? Unfortunately, does it have to take a Colossus situation for safety and peace to be obtained? A third party who implements their rules to solve our problems? What we have failed to see is that to bring about world peace, religion, government, physicality and spirituality all have to walk hand in hand. If not, we all just stay on the merry-go-round.

The latest and greatest doesn’t always have the answers…sometimes all it takes is the embracing of a word that has echoed through the eons…that word is “Love.” All we have to do is listen and believe.

love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

The other day I read about a radio station that made fun of the tsunami victims in Southern Asia….it was a cruel and ugly endeavor on the part of the radio station. It upset me, and made me angry. According to the news that evening, it had upset many other Americans also. Then I heard one reporter say, “Well, nobody should be listening to that kind of junk anyway,”…..and it got me thinking about that perspective….that if nobody listens, or purchases a product, then the power is taken away from the company that produces the item, or endeavor. Throughout history this has been understood as the “Art of Shunning.”

Every business needs financial support…and usually that support either comes from a business loan, and then from customers purchasing their products or expertise. Media, for instance, needs advertisers to support their business model. If a media company doesn’t have the viewership, they lose advertisers, which then affects how they can do business. If customers take the time to complain about something that disturbs them, to a business, the people running that company will usually listen, or they risk losing their advertisers…hence, they can lose their business. The fact that there is so much junk out there in the media means to me that enough people don’t complain. The general public doesn’t realize how much power they have, in the form of shunning. It is probably one of the most powerful tools a person has to control the type of society they will be living in. Remember what happened to Oprah Winfrey when she said on national television that she wouldn’t ever want to eat another hamburger? The meat industry went ballistic, and took her to court, where she ultimately won. She won because a person in America is entitled to have an opinion on what they like or dislike….even if they are in the spotlight. The beef industry understood how powerful shunning can be on a mass level…that is why they tried to make an example of Oprah Winfrey…to frighten others from voicing negative opinions. Can you imagine what happens if a large group of people turn off certain television shows? It happens, and those shows go off the air.

When people feel powerless, they can often turn to violence. Violence usually results in a temporary, but short-lived result. There are other ways to assert power, and this is where the Art of Shunning comes in. As long as people don’t take the time to turn off demeaning radio or television shows, for example, those businesses will continue to get their advertising dollars and keep gaining momentum. They will tell you that “this is what the people want to see and hear,” even though in reality it may be simply through default, meaning because people left their television or radio dial tuned to that particular station without realizing it, those advertising dollars assumed those people were actually interested in those shows.

People are not powerless….their opinions do matter, far more than they realize. These days as I leave certain establishments, they hand me a questionnaire to fill in on how I think they are doing, regarding the help of their staff, their quality of product, how they can improve….it is amazing to me that the average shopkeeper is taking the time to rate their business models through their customers. They know that keeping the customer happy will help their business. The only way the media is going to understand this same concept is through the pushing of a button….your finger on the most powerful tool you own….your television and/or radio button.

Support what you love,
Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

In life, can you be all and everything to everyone? Perhaps not….but what is possible is to find the place and corner of the world where you can be accomplished and make a difference. Marketers call this “finding your niche.”

For me, that niche is essays and music. In the essay department I try to focus on uplifting topics and subject matter that hopefully can help people along in their daily lives. With music, that involves a definition that I call, “Spiritual-Acoustic.” I have received a few e-mails asking me if I will ever do a heavy metal hard rock song….as much as I enjoy some of the music, I don’t believe it is my “niche.” When people hear the name Jennifer Avalon, I think it’s important that they know what to expect, even though from time to time I do try to push the envelope a little.

Whatever your endeavor is in life, there are always those who will voice their opinion and try to send you off in multiple directions. Like any journey, it’s very easy to get lost, and those critical voices never seem to be around to help you find your way back. So whatever you want to do with your life, try to keep it on one course…and simple….for example, “This is what I want to do, and this is where I want to go.” For that one decision that you make along the way, you will encounter those who will tell you you’re wrong. The “niche,” is the little piece of the pie that can be exquisite. The “niche,” can be your own special place on a Main Street, that people know where to go to get what you offer. We all have the specialty stores in our neighborhoods that have that one item that no one else seems to carry….their “niche.”

The “niche” can be expanded, but it is always the core starting point. Once we decide what it is we want to do, the “niche” becomes the cake that is available at every party and every function. I recently read an article about a company that only makes Christmas items. All year long they manufacture numerous products centered on that one holiday. Their focus is totally on their product and market. If you want Valentine’s Day, Halloween, or Thanksgiving products, that is not their forte. And they would tell you, “our line, or niche” is specifically Christmas items.” They stay focused and busy all year long. The day after Christmas, they begin centering on next year. Believe it or not, Christmas items sell all year long!

So it’s okay to “scratch your niche,”…it shows that you’re focused, centered, and in control of the direction you’re heading in. It is the acceptance that you fully understand that you can’t be all and everything to everyone. As they say, who wants to be a “Jack of all Trades, and a Master of None?”

Keep scratching!
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

In one form or another, overall, personal taste is acquired through influence and choice. It truly is amazing as the years go by how we develop our own personal favorite items and subjects. As we well know, taste can greatly differ from person to person…yet, realistically, is it an accident how we arrive at the things we want to see, hear, and do?

Fashion, hobbies, electronics, the arts, and even our occupations are affected by what we choose on a day to day basis. Just about everything is open to the voice of opinion. Personal taste is supposed to be freedom of thought…we freely choose what it is that we want and need. The scenario looks wonderful on paper, until mankind gets a hold of it and starts to mold and sculpt to a given person’s viewpoint. For example, can you believe that an individual could enjoy both the music of Led Zeppelin and the Partridge Family? I kid you not….I remember waiting on line in a record store growing up and seeing this long-haired hip looking guy go up to the counter and buy both albums. The clerk behind the counter did a double take, and this is where influence started to have its affect. Because it was not cool to like the Partridge Family, but totally cool, ultra-cool, to enjoy Led Zeppelin, the guy buying the records, when seeing the reaction on the clerk’s face, replied, “Hey man, don’t you know I’m only getting the Partridge Family for my kid sister?” Years later, when I went back to my old neighborhood, I ran into the guy who still lived down the block from my house…I reminded him of the incident, and he said to me, “Jennifer, in all honesty, I loved the Partridge Family, but I couldn’t, to save my life, tell anyone!” Same rules apply across the board…movies, cars, vacation spots…it matters what people think about our choices and personal tastes. Unfortunately what’s “cool” matters.

Let’s raise the bar a little. Three ladies go into a showroom to see the latest model Jaguar. One likes it in blue…one prefers red…while the other likes green. They all agree that it is a great car, so each one purchases the automobile, with the color of choice. Over coffee a week later, they start to have a full blown discussion of whose color is the best. They all have the same car, but the color now has become the new standard of excellence. As the weeks roll past, everything on the car is scrutinized inside and out…and each lady starts to incorporate into their car their own personal tastes…new radios, new radial tires…..hey, one even applies a clever bumper sticker…each person trying to make their car stand out as the best, while all along they’re driving the same car. Personal taste totally changed their perception.

Is it any wonder why this world is so hard to figure out sometimes? Why so many have such a hard time getting along? My house is better than your house, my kids are smarter than your kids, and why not throw in, my religion is better than your religion? At this point we have hit the motherlode of the world’s problems. You see, if I am willing to die for my religion, and you are willing to die for yours, and we have a disagreement, guess what? we both die!!

Personal taste is a wonderful form of individuality…as long as we keep it within reason, and respect someone else whose taste may differ. What are the chances of two people agreeing on everything? Practically zero. Multiply that by a few billion, and you get one confusing square dance. If everyone at the dance makes up their own steps without any regard to a basic standard, then chaos reigns, and everyone gets stepped on.

We don’t always have to agree….but we do have to respect our differences. There is Life and there is Law. It’s what’s in-between where we can get lost. Passion isn’t perfect…and neither are we.

Dosey-doe,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon