The palette is a strange thing indeed…what once tastes fresh, over time can easily become bland. Regardless of the delicacy, the taste of what was once new can surely spiral into decay. So too does our palette for Life…repetition tends to let the air around us grow stale.

Have you ever noticed that after a mild illness or a touch of the flu, your senses, in some strange way, reset themselves? I know for myself after a few days of a bad cold, where I have no desire to eat, once the fever subsides the first spoonfuls of soup that touch my lips feel like a gift from Heaven. Perhaps it is the relief of knowing that I am getting better…but lo and behold all of my senses start to take in information as fresh and as sparkling as the day I was born. One has to wonder, without this realignment taking place periodically, Life can profoundly be taken for granted, for if the beauty lies in the beholder, the flavor rests on the palette.

So how about if we begin to look at ourselves as one walking computer that needs to be depleted of viruses, spam, and pop-up ads, on a regular basis. Our hard drives and memories need to be updated and our monitors wiped down once in a while. Hey if we can do that for our computers, why can’t we do it for ourselves? For if we are well taken care of, when things tend to lose their rhythm all we have to do is hit the reboot button. Automatically, all of the systems would restart and synchronize. Like I said, if it’s good for the computer, it is just as good for us. Eventually, like the PC, we will wear out. But with a little tender, loving care we may be surprised at how many more hours we can squeeze out of our lives.

Carpe Diem,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

This week the world lost one of the Champions of Peace…Pope John Paul II. A man of strength and conviction, who called it the way he saw it. This Pope did not withhold his shots…where he saw cruelty and injustice, he made his voice known. With his passing, we will all now be able to see the full scope of the man’s life. Prayers and Blessings to you Pope John Paul II, and may God keep you forever in the palm of His hand.

love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

This past week two totally different stories engulfed the headlines of the evening news. Both, as of today, ending up in the determination of life. Little Jessica Lunsford was kidnapped and murdered by a pedophile who was staying across the street from her home. At the same time, a judge ruled that Terri Schiavo’s feeding tube was to be removed so that she can starve to death over the course of the next few weeks. Cases like these are becoming all too common. And these two cases in particular may redefine the rights of life, and how to protect them.

Children are in need of protection now more than ever. The kindly stranger who once was trusted now has to be looked upon as a potential attacker of the innocent. The Jessica Lunsford case, like so many others, has left parents scratching their heads, wondering, “Who can we trust, and how much?” The man who killed Jessica was a registered pedophile, but little did that help Jessica’s family in knowing that he was staying right across the street, within striking distance. The rights of Jessica were violated. Society failed her. Pedophilia, from what I understand, is an incurable disease, so pedophiles must be monitored at all times, either with an ankle bracelet, or some kind of system that determines their constant whereabouts. In my view, they have lost their right to privacy once it has been proven they have violated a child.

Terri Schiavo has been fed intravenously for over 15 years. The case has gone through the courts…on one side is her husband, who wants the tube removed…on the other side is her family, who wants it to remain. Terri can breathe on her own, and from all accounts, is not on medications, but she has been deemed by a number of doctors and experts as brain dead. Yet, her eyes open and close, she breathes air through her lungs, and can make sounds through her mouth. Before succumbing to this condition, Terri did not write any conditions down on what was to be done if she was to ever come to that state of being. Terri’s husband has said that it was Terri’s wishes that she be allowed to die, if she arrived at that condition. Her family disagrees. This weekend the United States Congress has met in a special Saturday session to draft a bill that would be signed as soon as possible by the President to instruct the judge in the case to reinsert the feeding tube. This coming week the latest chapter in what we consider the Protection of Life will begin to be written.

What scares me the most is the slippery slope that we may be embarking upon. One has to ask themselves, how many defects are “allowable” before we deem a person so incapacitated that termination of their life is acceptable? Are stroke victims, or brain damaged individuals who cannot feed themselves, or be of clear mind, next? As a society, what we now consider horrific, is it possible to eventually arrive at it’s doorstep? Being kept alive on respirators for an indeterminate amount of time is one thing, and signing Health Care Proxies is another, where one’s wishes are known, no matter what they are….. but starving people to death is unmerciful. We always assume that loved ones will know the right thing to do….well that decision sometimes can get real cloudy. A person of sound mind at any time can sit down and draw up a document stating what procedures are to be followed if they are incapacitated or at death’s door. It’s easy and it’s simple, and should be notarized. Then our wishes rest with us…otherwise, we leave them for someone else to decide.

Life and Death….issues that we struggle with daily. There are no easy answers. Yet we must strive to be humane as much as possible.

love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon

Life is one big freeway…traffic flowing back and forth. We use these highways as a way to get from one destination to another. Each day many of us incorporate these roadways as a part of life…yet, underneath the surface there is a far greater highway in existence…one called the “Human Highway.”

So what is this Human Highway? Well, here goes…on one side of the road are the “abusers”…on the other, the ‘”abusees.” And right slap dab in the middle is the “divider”…the middle ground. We become one of these three in Life. So let’s address each one individually:

The “abuser” is a person who has to have total control over all situations…they have to feel that their opinion reigns over all others. The abuser’s wants and needs supersedes those of wife/husband, family, and friends. Every decision, thought, and action is geared towards the accomplishment of what’s right for them. Gifts, blessings and kind words are given under false pretenses, as a form of deceiving an “abusee,” so that the abuser can get more. The abuser is the ultimate emotional blackmailer. They set up their lives to make all roads lead to them. With all this manipulation going on, what they don’t realize is that it is totally self-destructive. One habit that the abuser always reveals as a show of hand, is that once someone catches on to their plans, they abandon the person and replace them with someone new…kind of like when a lightbulb burns out, and it is replaced with a new one. The abuser is so caught up in themselves that they lose full meaning of the word “Love.” In some crazy way, whether they care to admit it or not, they look at others as nothing more than “work ants” for their causes and needs.

The “abusee,” on the other hand, is completely the opposite. Most times they are kind, sensitive, and peacemaking people. They don’t like conflict, they don’t enjoy turmoil…they try everything in their power to make people happy. This person is who the “abuser” makes a bulls-eye for. The “abusee” will sacrifice time and time again for the “abuser,” even blaming themselves when anything goes wrong, or anything brings a frown to the face of the abuser. Some abusees are able to break free from this affliction, after a little while…while others may take years, if not their whole lives. Unfortunately, after a while being emotionally beaten can start to become normal for the abusee, and they can start to forget that anything is wrong. They accept their position willingly, unless something jolts them back into reality.

The “divider,”… this is the point and the position where abusers have realized what they are doing is wrong, and have given up part of their power to compromise and share. The point where the abuser acknowledges that there are goals, dreams, opinions and feelings other than their own. At the “divider,” the abusee comes to the conclusion that few of their opinions or feelings were ever respected, and step by step they start taking a grip of the reigns of their life and reestablishing control over their destiny, while not becoming abusers themselves. For abusers and abusees to make the journey to the divider, most importantly they have to accept that they have a problem.

Is it any wonder why there are so many problems in the world? This Human Highway crosses all boundaries…rich, poor, young and old. Without the right physical and mental structural foundation to build upon, it is practically impossible for any of us to accomplish what we deem important in our lives. Here are three quotes that represent examples of the three parts of the equation. The “abuser”: “Some people get what they want, some people don’t.” The “abusee”: “It makes me happy to see you happy,” and, the “divider,”: “Let’s sit down and compromise.” These three quotes represent fully the three different viewpoints.

As I’ve said, most of the world’s problems can be broken down to basic fundamental issues. There are no mysteries why man has only progressed so far…but until we begin to look at the root causes, nothing will ever change, no matter how much we try to wish it away.

There’s always room at the divider,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2005 Jennifer Avalon