This week I moved from the house that I have lived in for the past five years. I always thought that I would have stayed there forever, but one day last Winter I was driving along in my car through a beautiful forested area when lo and behold out of the corner of my eye I saw this beautiful home under construction. I stopped by to take a look, trying humorously to tell myself to go away, but as you see, I couldn’t. Day after day I kept looking for reasons not to be interested in this new house, until eventually I came to the conclusion this wonderful place was right for me.

Moving is painful…..what you come across going through closets and boxes boggles the mind. It almost is like going back in time to see how far you’ve come. Changing jobs, changing homes, changing relationships are never easy steps…..even when you know that the change is for the best. Life is a strange journey…..you never know sometimes when the next turn along the road will occur. The only insight I have learned is to surround yourself with love and the best people possible for you.

As I look through my files, photos, and belongings one thing appears very clear to me…..this newsletter and the people that it touches I hold very dear to my heart. I hope that these essays help you sail through rough waters, as much as you help me through my rough seas.

Bless you all,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

People are always dashing about around the house….everyone taking care of their own things. Eventually, for some miraculous reason, everyone pulls up a chair at the kitchen table, which for many becomes the center of the home. The table not only provides food, but conversations, smiles and a chance to re-connect. We learn to get along with each other at the kitchen table.

The coffee, the tea, the food provide our physical nourishment at our table….but of equal value, hopefully, the instilling of security, strength and encouragement is provided for our minds and souls, to accomplish their work. Taking a seat at the table are the children, the open minds hanging on Mom and Dad’s every word to show them the way. At first the parents lead the table…but over time the children assert their ideas and thoughts to a higher degree. The guidelines of the family are discussed everyday between the lines at the kitchen table. Everybody shares their point of view, whether they say it or not. Actions sometimes do speak louder than words. Silence, too, has meaning.

We’re all supposed to be viewed equally at the kitchen table, but at times it doesn’t turn out that way. We are all members of the family, equally important to its health, but sometimes the best of parents can let that slip by. The rules and regulations of the table differ from family to family, but they are implemented. Everybody eventually knows how it works….including a very important member of the “club”….who too expresses his or her point of view….the family pet! Pets have tremendous power….when our dog, cat or bird has something to say, it is not uncommon for all the conversation at the table to stop instantaneously and give the floor to the pet of choice.

I being a parent am fully aware of the impact of the kitchen table. Whether I feel good or bad, I know I’m still “Mom.” It’s not unusual to hear around the house “Mom said this, Mom said that.” Even to my little dogs…”Mom” is watched. I guess spread across the table each morning is a blank canvas that as the day unfolds each member of our family contributes to the picture. At the end of the day that picture represents us as a family unit. The colors, the shapes and the depth of our canvas contain the ingredients of who we are.

Birthdays, holidays, and celebrations may take place in the diningroom with the best glasses, china and utensils…but hovering close by, watching, is our “trusty” kitchen table…where eventually we all gravitate to finish our conversations. The kitchen table has heard it all….

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each time before the space shuttle is sent into orbit all systems have to be checked and re-checked for any evidence of malfunction. At Mission Control all boards across the control deck must show green. To accomplish this task involves the work of many people of different skills…each one an expert in their own field. Months of preparation go into the schedule of each launch. Each failure is corrected until all has been done for a hopeful success. In our own lives each hope and dream rests on us for flight, to accomplish our launch and mission. We too must plan, contribute and re-check for our space-shuttle to glide among the stars.

To lift off the ground much thrust and power is needed to fuel our rockets. Whatever it is we plan to do for the future, without forward momentum our ship of dreams would come crashing back to the ground. We are our own “mission control.” We pick our team of experts to contribute to the success of our projects. It is up to us to determine who is needed and best qualified to help us succeed at our goals. In many cases we cannot do it alone…it involves teamwork and sometimes expertise from others, but never believe it can’t be done. Man walking on the moon was once considered insanity.

Each week I receive numerous letters from people sharing with me their hopes and dreams for the future. Some are well on their way to accomplishing their missions, others struggle to find their team of experts for their launch. The one thing that both have in common is the belief that they can succeed if just given the chance. Power is a very strange thing….in many cases we think it lies in somebody else’s hands…meeting the right person, having somebody provide the right amount of money…while many times the power to succeed rests within us. And one thing for certain, never underestimate the power of prayer. Prayer can move mountains and fuel many a ship.

Who are the right people for a mission? That’s for us to decide. The boys in the movie “October Sky” started with a little rocket that they built…that failed and failed and failed until one day, from pondering their mistakes, they discovered the right combination to lift their rocket high into the atmosphere. The sky above us awaits our dreams…our missions……Man may not have wings, but that doesn’t mean he can’t fly.

Spread your wings,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

We all take in what surrounds us from the day we are born, and sometimes, what’s good or bad becomes very vague. As human beings we operate basically on two levels…the conscious and subconscious…either one, at any given moment, having full control of how we think, feel and react. Our minds, you could say, are empty wells that are filled with what we put in.

Let me tell you a little story about one of my brothers. From his earliest memory his favorite television shows were Bonanza, and Wagon Train. He lived and breathed “Cowboys and Indians”…so much so that he even named his two goldfish after two of the characters from the television series “Wagon Train.” Everyday between the ages of five and eight years old he always made sure that safely in his room, neat and well-kept, was his cowboy hat and waistcoat. Also, his trusty toy guns had to be nearby to take care of the “bad guys.” His imagination was full of heroes, villains, and women in distress who needed to be protected. After awhile you couldn’t tell whether he believed he was growing up in the late 1950s or on a wagon train or on a ranch in the wild wild west. When he went to school the hot topic of all the boys was what Little Joe did on Bonanza the night before. These boys lived their dreams through their cowboy characters. After the age of eight my brother’s interests turned to super-heroes and “G.I. Joe” (the ultimate soldier who fought for the good of mankind!!) I remember walking into his room around this time seeing him playing with G.I. Joe and looking at me, telling me to remember that there are FAKE G.I. Joe’s out there, and to NEVER buy him one. Batman, Superman, Heroes for Truth, Justice and the “American Way”…how many boys did we see around Halloween running through the streets with capes on, believing that bullets could not kill them, only “kryptonite.” Innocent times? perhaps….but the heroes were different.

As my brother entered his teenage years the Beatles arrived….Beatle wigs, Beatle socks, Beatle gloves, not to mention the music. At first it was hard to understand, were the Beatles musicians or cartoon characters? My brother thought both. Around the same time sports rose to the forefront of his life. Baseball was King…Mickey Mantle was the man many kids looked up to. As he attended high school my brother, too, had to choose which group or clique he fit into. My brother chose the band, and the football team. Today, he regards those days as some of the best times of his life. Before he knew it, school was over and everything became girls girls girls. The hours of time that he once had open to do whatever he chose started shrinking fast. Responsibilities beckoned and before too long he got married and had children. Today when we have conversations about those times he tells me there are many nights that he looks to those days as fuel and inspiration for the future. He asked me once, “Boy, were we ever that innocent?”

There are many children today attending different schools around the world….who are their heroes? What are their dreams? Another group of little sponges….soaking up what surrounds them. Why did my brother like to play Cowboys and Indians? Why did my brother like the Beatles and sports? Because that’s all he saw to fill his void of time. What do the children of today have to choose for their void of time? Even though my brother played with toy guns as a cowboy, he never grew up to have one as an adult. The thought never crossed his mind…maybe because it wasn’t that the cowboy’s had guns, but that they were the heroes, and came to “save the day.” Homes around the world flood their livingrooms with information. Everything from television, radio, and the internet. The substance of that information is what children and adults use today to fill their void. People are working harder, longer hours to have the same luxuries their parents had. It’s not so easy anymore to keep an eye on the kids….but that, we must. Maybe we should all put a little sign up in our livingroom that says “CAUTION…SPONGES HERE.”

Take the time to love,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Life is just one high trapeze….we all go out in the morning, swinging through the air, performing acrobatics and somersaults, jumping from one end to the other, hoping that everything goes according to plan, and Synchronicity prevails. Below us, waiting, is the beloved safety net that we depend upon to catch us when things go wrong.

There are many in the audience who watch us perform on the high-wire. Some cheer us on, others boo, but on we go sailing through the air with confidence that all will go well, and we will never fall….then, out of the blue, a slip of a hand, a twist of a leg, and before too long we are free-falling through the air with ours eyes glued on that safety net, hoping that it has been well-maintained to catch us before we hit the ground. This week, in Littleton, Colorado, the safety net failed.

A group of teenagers, who call themselves “The Trenchcoat Mafia” made the headlines around the world. Two of its members decided to enter their high school with over thirty pipe bombs and multiple weapons to kill as many people as they could, including themselves. How could this happen? This has now been the eighth occurrence of this kind of violence in schools, in the past two years, across the United States. So what can be said of life on the trapeze? When the safety net becomes withered and torn, or simply not put up at all, fatalities can be the only outcome. None of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes, and yes, once in awhile we walk along the wrong road in life or swing the wrong way on the trapeze, but as a society we depend on the safety nets to catch those who are confused and off-balance.

So what can be said for our “trusty” safety net? The fabric of our society? The rope that is supposed to protect us, sometimes even from ourselves? The first section of the net is made up of our families, the second, our schools, the third, our communities, and so on, until each become interconnected…..but beware, one who falls from the trapeze these days better land in the most secure section of the net, because there are many nets out there that are starting to show gaping holes that are growing with time.

Who is to blame… the media? the guns? the internet? That’s just pointing the finger. I believe the answer lies much deeper, under the surface, than we realize. If we put bad things into our bodies, bad things happen. If we put bad thoughts and bad messages into our minds, bad things happen. If all the guns, all the bombs, all the knives, were removed from society in the morning, I do believe those two individuals who found it appropriate to massacre would have just as easily walked through the door with spears and bows and arrows, or something else. They found it very easy to make homemade bombs….all they would have done was transfer their weapons of choice. The mind is the ultimate weapon. Until we deal with this, the tools may change, but the mental machine will seek out new avenues to accomplish its mission. The information that we take in as individuals are seeds that, when fertilized, grow at an alarming rate. It’s that simple. Those individuals in Colorado embraced some of the most evil ideology that we have on this planet. Is it truly any surprise what happened? And how many more out there are waiting for their fifteen minutes of fame?

These days many of us mind our own business, lock our doors, and refuse to get involved. We’re afraid of lawsuits, people being angry at us, neighbors calling us nosy…..hey, who doesn’t want to be liked? Then one afternoon, at one thirty, a newsflash comes across the television, and this time it’s not someone’s else’s school, but our own…. and it’s not their kids, it’s our kids, and our families. I pray over the next few days I start to see members of Congress looking for solutions, not bogging themselves down in political rhetoric. This is truly a “wake-up” call…we can either get out of our beds or go back to sleep.

Check your net,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Maybe…..a very interesting little word. It’s neither here nor there, up or down, left or right…… hanging on the fence, looking around, and waving at everybody. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could live in a world where we didn’t have to make any decisions, no mistakes, and have no one mad at us for standing up for our point of view…..all the world huddled in a little corner, saying “maybe.” There’s only one problem…..we would never really know how each of us truly feels. If all we do is say “maybe” then we have given up the right to complain when something goes wrong.

What do we think, what do we see, what do we feel? Any one of these thoughts, when expressed, take us away from the position of “maybe.” How many times have we all listened to somebody saying things like, “I didn’t hear about that,” “I don’t have time to watch the news,” or “I think voting is a waste of time.” “Maybe” likes us to waste time because we can put off decisions indefinitely. While we put things off until tomorrow, each day, little by little, our “maybe’s” rob us of our own power.

“Maybe” gives us a sense of false security. We think by not stating a point of view will result in everybody liking us…on the contrary. The respect we crave is diminished. When we say “maybe,” over time, piece by piece, we remove our credibility. Time after time “maybe” makes us stand by and watch injustice, abuse, and crimes. “Maybe” eventually takes away our voices and leaves us silent. For if a voice is not used, the vocal chords forget how to make sound. “Maybe” in the end means doing nothing…..”apathy.”

Each day we are all confronted with yes and no…..some yes’s are not always pleasant….some no’s are not always painful. The judgment rests on our own shoulders. Where does that leave “maybe?” Neither no or yes…a decision in limbo.

Embrace your decisions,
Jennifer Avalon
(c) 1999 Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

The way we view our lives always seems to be based on how we see the glass… half-full or half-empty… what we have, and what we don’t. Many of us spend the better part of our days chasing that which is beyond our reach, without reflecting on what has been accomplished.

When we see the glass half-empty, our insecurities, sense of purpose and contributions seem meaningless. Depression sets in and before too long we become motionless on the sea of life. We don’t like our homes, friends, families and most of all, ourselves. Some even capitalize on our shortcomings. It’s very interesting….when we look at our lives from a negative perspective, before you know it, standing right next to you is someone who adds their two cents. On the other hand, when we see the glass half-full, our sense of accomplishment becomes clearer, and the energy and confidence that is needed to thrust us forward is provided. Our hearts become open to lend a hand to those in need. The choice of how we see the glass is up to us.

Choices are never easy, and sometimes downright painful. Standing in the middle of a field, you see two fences on opposite sides. One is higher than the other, and that one falls under the glass half-full. To succeed in life requires energy, effort and faith. To climb over the higher fence may not be easy, but it can be done, and before too long that glass will become fuller and fuller until one day it overflows. The easy way out is to tackle the lower fence. No effort is required, and chances never need to be taken. But the problem with this fence is that before you know it, the glass runs dry. Watching from the sidelines are the fans…some cheering you on, some calling you a bum. Inside all of us is the strength to block out the negative voices and rise to the cheers.

The best glass of all is the one with the clear water that you can see right through….pure, calm, from which good things spring forth. Pollution has been removed from this glass. For this glass to exist, much work was performed. The task was not always easy…but there it is for all to see that it can be done, preserved and maintained. The well of life runs through all of us, and the purity of the water affects all. As with the glass, we are also responsible for the upkeep of the well. The purer the water, the stronger the well.

May your glass be full,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

This week I would like to push the envelope a little further in some thoughts about what I call the “Great Divide, ” the area where this world and the next intertwine.

Is it possible for an open communication line to develop between us and our deceased loved ones and friends? I’m not talking about hocus-pocus, seances, etc., but a personal exchange. How much can we hear if we cover our ears? How much can we see if we shade our eyes? As humans, everyday we transmit and receive thoughts to each other in all different forms of communication. Is it possible for the same skills to be raised to the next level? Energy does not die, so in theory and Faith, do we ever really die? Almost all of our major religions are based on communicating with deceased Great Ones. Each week around the world millions pray to Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, and God. Do these people believe that their prayers are not being heard? I don’t think so. Then why can’t it be possible for our loved ones who have passed on to also hear our prayers…..

Sometime this week pick a space or a room where you can be alone with your thoughts. Make it as comfortable as possible, and allow your heart and mind to open up. Before I do this I always say a prayer for God’s Love to surround me. Some people call this meditation…..a form of quiet to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings, and perhaps the thoughts and feelings of those loved ones who have passed on. Many here on earth use prayer and meditation as forms of communication with Heaven.

Once we lose a mother, a father, a child or a dear friend, the empty void that some feel can become overwhelming. Some may feel that their lives are over, that the meaning to move forward is gone. Even though the hurt may never totally go away, if we can find ways to bridge the distance between the “living” and the “dead” our own lives can be greatly enriched. The Big Picture becomes clearer.

We all have to come to terms with Death, in our lives. The pain of it, the unfairness of it…..why can’t we live forever? Why is life so temporary? Maybe it’s meant to be temporary….and “somewhere else” is the permanency we crave for. In the center of the Great Divide is a bridge we all must eventually walk across…a bridge that connects two worlds…and because of this link, was there ever really a separation?

A friend of mine recently shared his thoughts about what he feels life is all about here. He saw all of us in a great big waiting room at a train station with trains whizzing in and out. Every five minutes a man shows up at the door and calls out a list of names and then says “All Aboard,” while others arrive with suitcases in hand, and fill the empty seats in the waiting room. A station that is open 24 hours a day!! In and out, coming and going…….

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

One of the greatest mysteries we will face in our lifetime is the premise of Life, and Life after Death……the Great Divide….the barrier between this world and the next. Many on our planet see Death as the final chapter….even some who believe in God wonder sometimes. Could it be we have not learned as a society how to use other areas of perception to seek out the physical evidence or proof that some crave for? For example…a good murder mystery teaches us that the evidence to solve the crime is sometimes in the places where we least expect it. As technology evolves, and science incorporates tests like DNA, etc., the tools that we use to analyze evidence are advancing daily. What would once be disregarded as proof, over time, is embraced as fact. A hundred years ago the visionaries that saw airplanes, submarines, and a man walking on the moon were called “crazy.” Today, it is simply accepted as a way of life. When we lose a loved one, the first level of perception feels hurt and emptiness. The sense of loss is overwhelming. As the weeks roll by we go through the deceased belongings, possessions, and photographs, flooding us with memories, laughter and tears. Before my maternal Grandmother from California passed away she told me that she saw the monarch butterfly as a “free spirit.” A week to the day she died I was walking on Lexington Avenue in New York City, and suddenly “out of the blue” a monarch butterfly flew right in front of me. Was it a coincidence, or her way of sending me a message that she was okay? One thing I believe, the more open we allow ourselves to be, the more we see.

Faith does enter into the picture, and I believe in Heaven, but it is the sense of loss that we deal with here. Maybe we don’t really have to wait until we die to feel and experience our deceased loved ones. Energy doesn’t die…sometimes it just changes form. One day you could be walking through a room in your house and a feeling will come over you and you’ll ask yourself, “What was that?” just as you are thinking about someone who passed on. Another coincidence? Or perhaps one more clue to solving the mystery of Life.

As the years roll on and we look back and we start adding up all these little “coincidences” and experiences, with each one we come closer to bridging the “Great Divide.”…the area where this world and the next intertwine. I don’t have all the answers…..but I too have my collection of “coincidences,” and with each one my understanding and Faith grows. A great scene in the movie “Titanic” was when Rose finally died, her spirit returned to the Titanic where all her friends, including Jack, her beloved, were waiting to greet her. Jack told Rose on that fateful night, “Rose, I will never leave you.” He kept his promise.

Trust the Promise,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Discipline….what a strange word. Is it our friend or our enemy? Sometimes during the week it feels a little like both. How much do you drink, how much do you eat, how much do you spend, how much do you save?…..a barrage of questions that circle around us each day…and lo and behold it’s left to each one of us to come up with the magic formula that balances everything. Discipline….a strange shadow that follows us everywhere we go….reminding us when we stray too far…always there with a little tap, a little sigh, or a glancing stare. Discipline can be a voice inside of our heads, a comment by somebody close to us, or a stranger we pass on the street. I wonder though, how many dreams and goals can be accomplished without this funny little “friend” named Discipline, who gallantly comes along for the ride.

Some choose to ignore Discipline and push it into the corner of the room where the cobwebs gather, shrugging it off with not a care in the world, hoping it just goes away…but many times that is not to be. As we live, this little word begins to creep in to our families, our jobs, and our relationships until one day we come to a crossroads where we can go no further without it. Mutual respect is established.

What is Discipline? It can be many things. The rules you set down to live by…the food you eat everyday…prayer and meditation with God…the guidelines of your life. How important is it? Can a team win a championship without it? Can a building reach to the sky on a strong foundation without it? Can the Earth keep turning without it? Can Love be limitless without it?

Perhaps it’s meant to be that true Discipline has to be self-imposed, and can only last coming from within. It can be taught, it can be learned, but in the end the decision to implement it lays in our hands. Eventually, it is up to us to decide whether Discipline becomes our friend, or an enemy, but the value of its existence cannot be denied. We reap what we sow.

Tend your garden,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon