Many of us chase our dreams, strive to accomplish our goals, and climb the mountains that stand before us. It’s wonderful to have expectations, but it’s also important not to set those expectations so high that they are almost
impossible to achieve.

If you follow the market on Wall Street, you’ll notice many times the head of a company having a meeting with analysts to help guide them in projections for the coming quarter and year. The company executives take it very seriously on how the analysts perceive the future of their companies. Take a company like Microsoft…they usually beat their earnings number by at least three to four cents per share, but if you listen, each quarter Microsoft is notorious for “talking down” the expectations of the future. In doing so, the estimates are attainable. Another case in point was a recent interview with singer/songwriter Billy Joel on the CBS series “60 Minutes.” The interviewer asked Billy Joel, “Are you a happy man these days?” Billy replied, “I may not be totally happy, but there is an awful lot to be said for contentment…I feel I’m in a good place in my life.”

Many of us strive to be happy….but it’s so important to set realistic levels in our lives that are also attainable. I don’t feel that it is realistic to believe that I will receive EVERYTHING that my heart desires in this life. If I look at the top of a mountain, and I set out to reach it, I may be only able to go halfway….and when I reach the halfway point and look up, I may feel like a failure, but when I look down and see how far I’ve come, I can say “Oh boy!” Same thing applies with the worst case scenario. Some days everything seems to go wrong….but that night when you look back somewhere inside all of the turmoil appears a silver lining….a reason for why you went through that turmoil and what was learned. In our world today there is number one, while everyone else is a loser. That is an unacceptable premise to me…it is geared to failure. It’s just fine being number two, ten, or one hundred, because what those numbers also represent is some level of success. So somewhere inside the distance between one and a million sits many of us.

While you set your goals look to a level that is possible. Realize it all comes down to one step at a time, bit by bit, inch by inch. But those inches and bits all add up, and in that exists all possibilities. If you don’t accomplish all you want in life, but you do find success in quite a few endeavors, like Billy Joel, you may also say “I may not be totally happy, but there is an awful lot to be said for contentment…I feel I’m in a good place in my life.”

Enjoy the journey,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

There’s a lot to be said for Passion. I guess I could define it and
mention its meaning to me, but the best way perhaps is to tell it in the form
of a true story.

My father’s passion for most of his life has been his love for sailing. He built his first boat at the age of eight…and from then on the love for boats and the life of the sea flowed through his veins and never diminished. Like many of us, he too tried to push away the calling of his passion….he tried different kinds of work, but time and time again, his love for the sea kept beckoning. When he first married my mother he went to work for a semi- conductor manufacturer. Money was good, but each day he was called upon to perform tasks that went against what he considered his calling. Year by year he continued at his job, and his family grew to include four children. I remember each night him coming home exhausted, having little energy left to devote to his children. It wasn’t his fault…to him a man had to provide regardless of whether he liked what he was doing or not. Most week-ends he would rush out to his beloved boats to enjoy and recharge his batteries. We as children didn’t know what was going on, but I guess somewhere inside we knew he was hurting. Eventually that hurt caught up to him in the form of a bleeding ulcer. After half of his stomach was removed he turned to my mother and said “I’ve had enough”.

Thus began the journey to fuse his passion for sailing and providing enough income for himself and his family. He tried a few different lines of work before arriving at the ultimate answer….Selling Boats! As I look back I can see that my father found much peace when he began his own boat business. I can say that the business has become very successful, but why wouldn’t it be? True passion is not work. It’s a wonderful thing to dream, set goals, and embrace our passion….but I know we live in the real world, and bills have to be paid. Maybe somewhere within life is the possibility to combine economic stability and our blessed gifts. One thing that’s for sure is that following your passion involves taking risks….but, the greatest risk of all is not even trying. That can develop into anger, pain and bitterness, which can be inflicted internally and on others. The saddest thing of all is to look back on our lives at the end and say “If only….”. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Listen to your heart,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Each morning we rise, gather our thoughts, and prepare for the day ahead. We shower, select our clothes and head off to the breakfast table for the nourishment that we need to start our day. We search for ways to shake off the sleep that clouds our eyes…it could be the morning newspaper, or just a casual conversation with a loved one. What we truly are going through is the preparation for what awaits us outside the front door. Upon opening that front door, at any given moment we can be bombarded with positive or negative forces….so each morning we start to select the armor that we need to fight the battles of the day.

We live in a world of all different kinds of people, with each one choosing how to look at a given opportunity or problem. Recently I had an interesting conversation with a friend where she told me a story that troubled her. She was waiting at the bus-stop on her way to work. It was a rainy day so there were about three or four people in front of her in line. As the bus stopped to let passengers on my friend wanted to board the bus as quickly as possible so she wouldn’t get wet. Suddenly the busdriver said to her “Stay out there on the curb”. My friend replied “Could you please let us on the bus so we can get out of the rain?” The busdriver answered “I don’t really care if you get wet…that’s not my problem.” In the busdriver’s mind he had his own system for how people should board and exit his bus. The passengers waiting to get on the bus had no idea what was going on. After a little commotion all safely boarded the bus. My friend could not shake the thoughts of how she had been treated by the busdriver. I met her shortly before she entered her place of employment, and she said to me “This has just about ruined my whole day.” She was shaking with anger. Upon hearing the story I replied “Every morning each one of us go about our day…the chances of everything going according to plan every time is close to impossible. To expect it is not being realistic.” All of a sudden a look of relief came over her face…her expectation and the pressure she had put on herself had been lowered. She said to me “Thanks for listening…I guess I may have blown things out of proportion.”…and I replied “Don’t we all?”

Most of us wear all kinds of armor everyday to deflect the arrows that are shot at us. There is tremendous strength in having the right outlook and protection against the forces that try to hurt us. Yet sometimes because of how we react to things the forces can be internal. There are many things we don’t have any control over….but our outlook and determination to fight on, that we do have a say in. Deflecting those arrows that seem to strike at the worst moments is one of the keys to finding inner peace and happiness. It’s so important that we find and maintain the love and compassion within us, which really can give us the strongest armor of all. That is why in life you can never have too much Love and too much Tranquility. It may come from prayer, a loved one, or a close friend. Wherever the source, breathe it in our bodies and souls cannot get enough.

Take the time to love, fellow warriors,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We’ve all experienced emotions from people under the disguise of Love. As children, many of us were chastised, sometimes as we were told “This is for your own good.” Well, in many cases it is left up to the discretion of parents and loved ones to decide what discipline is needed and under what circumstances it applies. Some parents do a wonderful job…they provide the foundation and atmosphere needed to stimulate growth and personal well-being, but others, I’m afraid, as many of us know, have no idea how to raise children. In our society we learn from experiences….the giving and receiving of Love in life is something that we accumulate along the way. If the Love is positive it sends us off on a path that can be both rewarding and enlightening. If the disguised Love is negative, we enter a doorway of abuse and torment. These are the two main roadways we travel upon in life. As we continue on our journey, depending on the roadway traveled the weather either becomes clearer or stormier.

As we enter adolescence our exposure to Love expands. Many of us fall in and out of Love throughout our teenage years…those memories, for myself included, are carried with us all through our lives. All of these experiences are stored in memory banks within our minds…they are the pool of knowledge that we draw on to decide what is Love and what isn’t. As we continue on our journey we constantly add and subtract to these files of memory…to better understand, from our perspective, what we truly are experiencing.

This is all a wonderful picture if the knowledge and Love is powerful and positive. But problems start to arise with each successive negative experience. Our minds start having difficulties differentiating between the good and the bad. Therein lies, for many of us, the greatest challenge of life….how to learn from our experiences, retaining the positive and learning not to repeat the negative. This becomes more and more important as we evolve into developing new relationships and starting families of our own. The student becomes the teacher. Each teacher imparts knowledge from their own experience.

If we look at our cities, states, and countries many of the problems that exist have been brought about in one form or another by the lack of Real Love. Pockets of people searching for reasons why they feel in pain and alone. Their anger and sadness convinces them to strike out at the society that they feel has abandoned them. Yes there are rules and laws we all have to learn to live by, but a wounded heart has a hard time hearing any message.

Take care of those you love, offer help when needed, give from the heart. This is how the seeds of Real Love are planted. You know, not only are germs and disease contagious….but the spores of Real Love can travel far and wide….across many borders and boundaries. In the words of John Lennon, “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one….I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one.”

Take the time to love

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

How many of us have a problem letting our hearts and souls be replenished with happiness, security, contentment and joy? With so many roles we play each day in society it’s so easy to put up the barriers and assume a defensive posture. Yes, we do have to protect ourselves but does that have to entail closing off the pathways into our hearts? A recent conversation I had with a friend touched upon these concerns. She told me that whenever she did something for herself that made her happy, quickly that happiness turned into doubt and then guilt. It was very hard for her to allow the full experience of joy to fill her heart. She actually believed she was not “worthy” of these feelings. Now my friend is a beautiful person….if that can happen to her, it must happen to many. Today in society we are so bombarded with negativism, it has become an accepted solution to many problems. It’s so easy to give up and not try to improve a situation.

Joy and happiness are wonderful things…they give us energy to battle through troubling times. Everyday we fill up our reserve fuel tanks with energy…what kind of energy we put there is really our decision. Anger and fear provide negative energy….but for many of us there is no limit to the level of anger and fear we allow to fill our consciousness. It does matter what you think and feel. It does affect the quality of your life and others. Positive energy comes from laughter, love, hope, and peace. It puts you in a relaxed state to reflect and enjoy yourself and the world around you. Some find these feelings threatening, because it’s so much harder to control a person who feels complete and loved.

Empowerment is one of the greatest gifts to give oneself. Joy and love are some of the positive fuels that will help you move forward and strive. Accept the things that you need to propel you into the existence that can be beneficial to your life. Let them fill your heart and soul….you can never have too much positive energy. Look around you, and look above…you may be surprised, the answers may be right there in front of you. Spread your arms and let it in.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We all make choices everyday. We react and assert ourselves to everything that occurs to us….we then in turn, through our actions, express to the world who we are, and what we want to be. It’s kind of strange really, but in the short term many of us tend to focus on the negative things that happen to us, but as we look back we start to understand why things happen the way they do. I guess it’s important to look upon problems and mistakes as a learning process so we can grow and try not to make the same mistake twice. Every one of us in one way or another is accountable for our actions…what you say, and what you do to others does have a cause and effect. Each one of us has not only the power to affect our own lives, but also the lives of others. We may not think it, but we do.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each time somebody did something nice or kind to us we would automatically turn and do an act of kindness to another? Yes I know in this day and age in some corners kindness and consideration are looked upon as weakness….when in reality they are strength. It’s very easy to become enraged and inflict hurtful words and acts upon people. In these cases there is no need for control or rules of life to acknowledge. Kindness and Love, on the other hand, on a continuous basis, are much harder to accomplish because they involve a lot of thought and an overcoming of rage and uncontrollable anger. Being kind to someone else has an interesting benefit. It not only makes the other person feel good, but leaves a warm feeling in your own heart. It gives you a sense that your life matters…you have the ability through your actions and thoughts to help others…isn’t that a wonderful thing? I think all of us are in some strange way “athletes of the heart”…. we are all relay runners. We start the race and somewhere along the line we have to pass the baton on to the next runner, and hope that they run their leg of the race as well or better than we ran ours. Why is this important? Because the human race can only win if we perform well as a whole. We are not separated here…we are all inter-connected….so an act of kindness to someone else also benefits you and me.

I believe God put each one of us here to find out who we are and learn how to Love others. If all we do is allow the ego to rule, we fail. Brotherhood and Sisterhood are very important words. It’s up to every one of us to let them live in our hearts. No act of kindness is too small. The next time somebody smiles or says hello don’t be afraid to smile back. Lord knows, this world needs more smiling faces!

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We all come into this world as pure loving souls….creatures that upon entering, through the senses, instantaneously start taking in information. Even at an early age, we start developing internal rules to live by…..influences that shape our thoughts and dreams. As we grow each year the knowledge and experiences start to take on layers around an initial core that is the center of who we are. Progressing through life, we continually add layer upon layer as ways to accumulate a form of library and protection as a reference for us to move forward.

Think of your life as an onion….as you can see, there is the seed in the center and spiraling around it are the skins or layers. As the onion grows the layers are also increased. Why is it when we peel away the layers of an onion, we cry? And in many cases when we peel away our own layers, tears are also shed….the foundation of what we truly are is the core and as we live we add good layers and bad layers. Many times with all these skins around us we forget that the pure child (core) stays within us until our passing.

I recently had a conversation with a friend, and we were exchanging words to express what we thought about certain issues. After about fifteen minutes both of us began to realize that certain words had different meanings to each other. Isn’t it interesting…we both spoke the same “language”, but within that language it was so easy to be mis-understood. As a human family we have so many barriers…language, race, religion, emotions, etc. It’s so easy for conflict to occur. No wonder people take each other the wrong way.

As we live our lives adding these layers that accumulate within us it’s important to take time to peel them back to see the core of who we truly are, because with all the information floating around out there some of our most important thoughts and feelings sometimes get lost within the layers. I often end my messages with the words “Take the time to love”….the word “time” is very important, because in this busy world to stop and listen is vital to truly experience love. The ultimate human experience is to surround the core with Love.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Everywhere you look these days there are television shows, books, newspaper articles and music etc. with one thing, in one way or another, in mind…..Spirituality. With each passing day the hunger grows for answers. Many are searching for the reasons why they are here. The publishing houses say they cannot release books on this subject matter fast enough. James Van Pragh, author of the book “Talking To Heaven” was a recent guest on the Larry King Live show on CNN. The response was so overwhelming, Larry invited him back faster than any guest who had been on his show before.

All these things are not a coincidence…something is definitely going on here. Some say it’s because the baby-boomers are getting older…others say it’s because we’re approaching the Millennium….perhaps so, but one thing is very clear….mankind is starting to look beyond its physical boundaries in larger numbers. The world around us is getting smaller because of technology, like the Internet….the distance between each one of us is shrinking fast. Maybe deep inside we all know we have to start looking at each other with more humanity.

People are starting to return to their churches and houses of worship in growing numbers, while others are taking up yoga and meditation to release the stresses of the day. Many are seeking out ways to better connect to their spiritual consciousness, and practice rituals that can keep them focused on a Higher Power.

If in the sixties we had the Sexual Revolution, I do believe we are now entering a span of time of self-discovery, brotherhood, and enlightenment…..a Spiritual Revolution of the mind, body and soul. I believe Humanity cannot continue to progress unless it embraces the fundamentals that we live on more than one level. Maybe all of us deep down inside know that if this planet is to continue for the next hundred years with the technology that is evolving, we are going to have to find better ways to understand each other and get along. “I am right and you are wrong” no longer works….but did it ever?

I’m reminded of the original Star Trek television series, each episode still repeated in many countries. Remember each week how we used to see Captain Kirk and the crew come to terms with all these different life forms? It wasn’t easy….but as Mr. Spock used to say, “Logic must prevail”. Well, it’s not easy here either! But let’s hope humanity prevails. From what I see and the letters I receive, I believe it will.

“Live Long and Prosper”,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

One thing we tend to do in society is assign value to everything. A house is worth this amount, a car is worth that amount, etc. When we are talking about a material object I guess it’s fine to assess a dollar value so that in the real world we can attach a monetary price tag to it, but it becomes dangerous when we start attaching the same concept to human beings and relationships. The jobs we perform, the relationships we build, and the goals we set have very profound value to us….but isn’t it strange that somewhere along the way the value concept is also assigned to those ideals we hold true to our hearts. Today a persons yearly salary has become more important than who a person is. Each one of us receive a different paycheck each week…but should the amount of that paycheck determine our contributions to humanity? To some people we know, it does.

A schoolteacher’s starting salary in New York City is around 30,000 dollars…a stockbroker within the same city could walk away at the end of the year with commissions and bonuses easily around 100,000 dollars. Both jobs are important…and contribute vastly to our society..but is one better than the other? I believe not…they are different, but one is not better. Society on the other hand has somehow looked upon life as a kind of ladder…each person being assigned a different step…some at the top, some in the middle, and lo and behold, some on the ground floor…..without the possibility of even getting a foot on the first rung. Maybe I’m a dreamer, but there’s something terribly wrong with this picture.

It takes all kinds of people to make a world…each one contributing in their own way. Whatever it is that you do to contribute in a positive way to yourself, family and the world has meaning and value. Embrace it. You don’t have to play the game. At the end of our lives, I don’t believe God says “Congratulations, you made 10 million dollars! Have a seat to my right…but You, what happened? Only 200,000 dollars? Have a seat in the back!” Almost sounds like a Twilight Zone episode, doesn’t it? Ultimately, we are judged by the amount of Love we gave, and the amount of Love we let in…the true definition of Fair Value.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

How many of us out there, myself included sometimes, spend a good portion of the day not quite awake. A friend of mine’s father owns a convenience store, and he told me that every morning quite a number of his father’s customers come in and pay him for the morning cup of coffee and newspaper. One morning my friend said to his father “Hey Dad, why is it a number of people don’t speak or return your “good morning”? His father replied “Don’t be offended son, they don’t even hear or see me some mornings”. “How is that?” asked my friend. “Well you see son, they head out of their house, stop here along the way, and then head down to the train station. It’s possible that they will repeat the same process for maybe twenty years….I guess after awhile it all becomes mundane”.

Whether all of this is mundane or not, it is still life. Many of us are so bombarded with pressures of the day that after awhile we start “zoning out”. I think the problem with this is that in some way we are being robbed of time. Whenever I meet somebody who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness one of the main statements I hear over and over again is “If only I had more time”. Isn’t it ironic that those who believe they have all the time in the world so freely waste it, while those who have so little time left cherish every moment.

In our busy hustle and bustle world each day there seems to be so many things on our minds…taking care of our spouses, kids, homes, work, and paying those bills. After awhile we begin to ask ourselves, Are we living? Or are we bouncing from chore to chore? There has to be a way of keeping it all in perspective.

We are born, we grow as children, we establish relationships, careers, and then one day we pass on. How we fill the space and time in-between is up to us. Each one of our lives has meaning. Yes it is important to be responsible to yourself and to others, but I do believe we are here for more than getting a paycheck each week. Life is something precious….a wonder to experience. With it we can grow. If you find yourself sometimes falling into patterns that you do over and over again, shake it up. Once in awhile it’s okay to walk a different way to the train station, order two cups of coffee instead of one, read a different newspaper, etc. Why is this important? Because it forces your mind to focus…because you are now performing a different task. Human beings on the whole resist change…but without it we just will repeat the same thing again and again. We have more value than that.

So this week try something new that you’ve never done before. It may surprise you. Inside you may start to feel new sensations, new thoughts, and see life from a different angle. Yes we all may still sleepwalk sometimes, but with a continued infusion of new thoughts and experiences we may find ourselves doing less sleeping and more walking.

Take the time to enjoy,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon