Isn’t it interesting….that certain aspects of life seem to follow a pattern. For example, you head off during the day and one thing seems to go wrong after another, or, at each intersection, you make every green light. Strange, isn’t it? Well, for the lack of a better word, I call these occurrences “trends.”
People in the stock market understand trends quite well. They come out and tell us where they believe the market is headed, based upon past history. Can we too look upon our past histories to better understand the trends that affect our lives, what causes them, and what changes them?

Recently I read an article about an understudy actor on Broadway who was there for when the leading star of the play couldn’t perform. The play was running for 3 months, when lo and behold, one night the call came in that the leading actor would not be able to give his performance that evening. The understudy knew that this perhaps could be his chance to light up the lights of Broadway. In sharing his feelings, the understudy explained all the work and preparation he had put into his craft, which prepared him for that night. What happened was the understudy gave such an incredible performance, that 2 weeks later he heard from Hollywood that they wanted to cast him in a new soap opera that they were developing. Was he just “lucky?” or was he prepared for something that has happened time and time again….the Trend. How many other stories are out there about the undiscovered actor or actress who gets their “lucky break.” If this trend does exist, wouldn’t it be unwise for any “understudy” in a play, to not be prepared for their moment to shine?

The trend can be friend or foe. The awareness of its existence can, in many cases, help determine the outcome. If one observes a negative trend developing, and he or she is aware that this has happened before, by that awareness they may be able to stop it, and turn it around. Same can be said for positive trends….when they occurred before, could they have been extended? By understanding the trends, we may be able to get a better control over their lengths, by making the positive trends longer, and perhaps, negative trends shorter.

Johnny Carson, the legendary talk show host, was once asked, how does he react to the ratings of his show? He replied, “They go up, and sometimes they go down. I learned a long time ago, everything runs in cycles.” Johnny fully understood that trends exist, and he adapted accordingly. I believe we too run through cycles, and trends, in our lives. The trick is to learn from them, so that each turn of the wheel we become a little wiser, and more compassionate. Yes, there are new trends, but history has an uncanny way of repeating itself.

Amend the trend,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

Yes, indeed….unless somebody has discovered a miraculous way to extend the amount of hours that make up a day, either you control the cycle, or it controls you. We all fall victim, in one way or another, to the hands on the clock. We ask ourselves, “Where did the time go?? I can’t believe it’s 5PM already!! or, Is it really Friday again??” Father Time has an uncanny ability to step right into our lives and walk away with precious moments. This scenario continues until the day comes when we stand our ground and say, “Enough already! I decide what happens to my day!!”

So let’s examine this clock on the wall…..most of us need at least 8 hours of sleep (if we’re lucky) So for argument’s sake, let’s slice off the hours between 10PM and 6AM. That leaves us with 16 hours. The countdown begins….we then head off to work, and donate another 8 hours of our time. I know, the boss sometimes demands a little bit more than that. But lets stick with 8. That leaves us with a grand total of 8 hours to enjoy. This is where the fun begins…as we can imagine, when looked at under this kind of scenario, those hours become like pieces of gold. Precious gems that we use to signify our lives on a personal level. Is it any wonder why so many people feel pressure, have health problems, and have trouble relating to each other?
I heard on the television this morning that the average person in the United States spends around 150 hours a year commuting to and from the office. I haven’t even included this statistic….so let’s just stick with 8 hours remaining. If we don’t take control of that time, it evaporates. If one has a relationship, and/or children, friends and pets….scheduling those 8 hours becomes key.

Can it really be that life comes down to 8 hours a day…..perhaps so. But with a little planning, we can take hold of those 8 hours and squeeze it like a lemon, to make lemonade. So before we go into carving up these 8 hours, during that commuter time play some music on a CD player, or listen to an audio book. That way, commuter time is not wasted. If you are using mass transit, bring along something to read. That way the journey will go faster. So let’s get back to those 8 hours. Within that time we have to have dinner, communicate with our children, have a relationship with our spouse or mate, make sure the house is clean, and find a few spare moments for ourselves. The planning of those 8 hours becomes key. Most of us feel overwhelmed just thinking about it, and+- we could pretend that none of this matters. Then all that would happen would be that as we get older, we become more bitter. Our lives do matter….that is why I take the management of Time so seriously.

If you find the pressure of Time overwhelming, you are not alone. Each one of us are dealing with it. It comes down to us, against Father Time. Do we sit back and allow him to come through the door and steal another day? Or do we take a slice from the pizza pie and tell him, that’s all he’s getting today? I don’t know about you, my little pie is pretty carved up…but I try to always reserve the smallest piece for my daily guest, Father Time.

Bon Appetit!
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

Normal is the presence and level of life that we deem acceptable. Normal has changed over time….and since 9/11, we are all finding new ways to come to terms with the definition of “normal.” The world believed that an array of nuclear, biological and chemical weapons would never be used on a mass scale. A false sense of security? perhaps….but this acceptance that nothing catastrophic would ever happen in our lives was factored into our perception of what we considered “the norm.” Over the past 6 months what we have learned is that what we once thought was highly unlikely, is now a distinct possibility. Daily on television, one expert or another reveals what a nuclear weapon can do, where it could do the most damage, and lo and behold, how to construct one. A “dirty bomb,” which now is considered the weapon of choice for terrorists, we are informed can easily be put together and detonated. Yes, indeed, “normal” has changed.

I could not believe my eyes reading an article yesterday where a military expert said that a dirty bomb could kill thousands, and without blinking an eye he said these are “acceptable numbers.” What would not be acceptable to him would be a nuclear attack which could kill millions. Okay, let me get this straight….I have to factor into my definition of “normal” the possibility that it may become common news that dirty bombs will be detonated more than once? The expert also mentioned that in this day and age people will have to learn to live with the possibilities of suicide bombings, dirty bombs, etc. Some people have had to live with the reality of this kind of life for years. This is new to the people of the United States. On a personal and public level, we try daily to maintain some level of balance in our lives…..a lifestyle we can cope with, which fuels growth and improvement. When change is entered into the mix, we absorb it, and recalculate our vision of the norm. In the not too distant future, who knows what changes are going to have to be absorbed by us?

Through all these changes, we will go on. Just like we get over losing loved ones, going through divorces, and finding new jobs. We do go on. The most important point to realize is that there is a bigger picture….that as we go through changes we must learn from them. I believe one of the most meaningful elements of life is to become a better person. As scary and chilling some of the events of the past few months have become, they have helped us grow, and become better people. We don’t quite look at life the same way, or take people’s kindness and good gestures for granted. We too have incorporated this into our level of “normal.”

love,
Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

This past week in the United States, many terrorist warnings were issued for the country and specifically, for the New York area. The warnings ranged from nuclear reactors to airplanes, trains, and boats, until it trickled down to scuba divers! To put it mildly, all of this frayed many nerves. Human beings are a strange bunch….they can handle stress and anxiety to a point, until they start to find unusual ways to grapple with it. What is emerging in the United States post 9/11, and for that matter, in other parts of the world, is something called “dark humor.” To give an example of dark humor, here is a quote from a stock trader on Wall Street when asked why the market was rising in the face of bad news. He replied, “Well we all know we’re going to get nuked, but in the meantime, let’s have a party and make some money!” Another example of dark humor was chuckled by a local news anchor, who said, “Let me get this straight….there are all these warnings coming in every day…..so tell me, at what point am I supposed to just kill myself?” Dark humor is becoming a new pastime that Americans are expressing to cope with the current crisis. A friend of mine recently mentioned to me, “Jennifer, things are so bad that at some point you just have to laugh, because it feels like you’re in the middle of a horror movie.” Tom Ridge, the Homeland Security Czar appointed by President Bush, has a color coded system in place to let us know the level of the warning. Well, as you can imagine, this too has fallen victim to dark humor. “What does yellow mean? Why are we permanently at yellow/neutral when perhaps we should be at full red/alert? And how bad does it have to get before we reach red/alert?” some are asking. A radio talk show host reported over the airwaves the other day that if he hears that the nuclear reactor near him is under attack, he will casually walk out onto his porch, sit down, open a nice bottle of wine, and wait for the prevailing winds!! Dark humor, yes? These are the kinds of thoughts that Americans are sharing with each other to ease the tension.

Post 9/11 we are discovering new ways to use our imaginations to cope with daily life. In some strange way, by joking at times about the situation, it helps us get in touch with our humanity. I do believe if the situation continues, it will only be a matter of time before comedy clubs specializing in dark humor start popping up. It’s gotten to the point in the good old US of A that when you turn off your television for a couple of hours, you cringe when it’s time to turn it back on. This past week the Brooklyn Bridge itself had a warning posted against it. Now please tell me, what on earth would anybody get out of blowing up the Brooklyn Bridge?? This past Friday it was announced by the authorities to keep an eye out for scuba divers coming on shore….a friend of mine who heard the warning looked at me and said, “What’s next? dolphins??” With all the warnings that have been issued recently, we have now just about covered every form of attack that is possible on humankind. I’m sure clever minds can add a few more to the list, if challenged.

Truly, terrible things have happened here in America. Loss of life is never funny. But to move forward, we have to find ways to handle it. Dark humor is just one of those ways. Behind each joke of dark humor are tears. We cry, we laugh, we live.

Keep living,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

We meet or are introduced to people, and after a few encounters we understand who they are, and what they’re all about. Unfortunately, there are those who have a strange habit of changing who they are at will, leaving us baffled and confused. For lack of a better word, these type of people are known as “chameleons.” It could be a neighbor down the street, a coworker at the job, or a personality we see on television. Chameleons really don’t have any point of view….they are too busy taking the temperature and seeing which way the wind is blowing to ever stand their ground and take the heat for an opinion. They are easy to spot….they show up at parties and at the beginning of the evening they have one point of view….yet as you are leaving, they say something that is totally the opposite of what you heard earlier. Sadly, if the world was run by chameleons, nothing would ever get done. They would be too busy taking polls and trying to decide what it is they must do, rather than taking a stand for what they believe.

For me personally I have no problem entering a discussion and having someone disagree with me. I can respect their decision and their thoughts…but when I encounter a chameleon, I never know if they are just telling me what they think I want to hear, or are disagreeing with me just to disagree. Chameleons never stay long enough on any opinion to be pinned down.

In any personal or political conflict, when two sides disagree, they negotiate, and hopefully reach an agreement. If a chameleon enters the picture, chaos reigns. After a while both parties get entrenched in confusion, mistrust, and anger. A chameleon can shake your hand, while stabbing you in the back….or, smile right at your face while they are lying. Strangely, a chameleon, while taking no stand, alleviates itself of history, conscience, and predictability. Most of the severe conflicts in life that are not solved, fall prey to chameleons. They are out there…..having no problem causing havoc.
So how do we handle these chameleons? Identify them, and see them for who they are. It is at that point that we must decide whether to walk away, or confront. A chameleon hides in the shadows….but once light is cast in their direction, they run. A chameleon never wants to be exposed. But once they are, they are rendered powerless. Let’s hope that the problems we are facing worldwide are not left in the hands of the chameleons.

Shine a light,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

9/11, Afghanistan, the Enron Scandal, Wall Street’s Bear Market, the Conflict in the Middle East, the Catholic Church Scandal, etc…….over the past eight months this is what has been surrounding us, either at home, at work, or everywhere else in-between. Nerves are frayed, people are confused, and who knows where all this will end up? We are all involved in something called, “The Waiting Game.”

So how does this game work, we may ask? Well, we all sit in a room, watch the headlines come across on a television set, stare at the blank looks on each other’s faces, listen to the silence, until someone gets up and says, “What the heck is going on??” If somebody presented this script a year ago about what has happened to us all in the past eight months, no one would have put it on the screen, because it wouldn’t be believable. As we all well know by now, it is very much real. So here we all are, playing the waiting game, hoping things get better, hoping that there is someone out there who can change the course of current events and guide us to calmer waters. A major money manager on Wall Street was interviewed today and he said the market always seems to know what is going to happen before we do, in some mysterious way. Sadly, even he has to admit the market looks confused. One day up, one day down, and it too, since 9/11, has been in a holding pattern. It too is playing the waiting game.
We all have our opinions of what’s going on….sometimes we are in agreement, sometimes not. But as we sit playing this game, one little secret starts to emerge. Many of the conflicts that have risen in the past few months have been caused by procrastination. 9/11 happened because America’s defenses were down. America had become so complacent that we seemed like the crew on the Titanic, believing we were unsinkable. As it has been shown through testimony, the Enron Debacle was a long time coming…”creative accounting” had become an art form! The Middle East conflict has been going on for over 35 years…it didn’t just start yesterday. The priest scandal in the Catholic Church…it too has revealed how far back it goes. Recently released documents show that some of the problems date back to at least 1972, or further. All these crisis’s have been coming on for years….what is shocking is that they all seem to be arriving at the same time. Could it be that this procrastination has spread through our world like a virus, infecting many different countries, industries, and religions? What did we think….if we leave a problem alone it will eventually just solve itself? We now know that not to be the case. So we wait….and participate in the waiting game.

This game of waiting, over time, can make one feel powerless and insignificant. Nothing could be further from the truth. At some point these problems will be solved one way or another, hopefully in a peaceful fashion, so that when we look back on these times we may learn that it is not wise to procrastinate. While we sit in our room playing the game, the ultimate fear is the unknown. We all wonder how and when this game will end. I am an optimist, because pessimism is self-fulfilling. These are the times when great people come forward with new thoughts and new ideas…to make us more humane and inventive. The unknown doesn’t have to be so frightening….we all have a hand in shaping it. All great things have come from thought. What one person dreams today, may become tomorrow’s reality, and make the world a better place.

Dream on,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

It used to be that we believed that the people with the greatest weapons could secure peace in the world. The country with the largest and most powerful military hardware would have all the answers and deliver such a potentially powerful blow that all in their presence would fear and run. History is beginning to teach us that violence does not bring about long term solutions of peace.

Since the beginning of mankind, man has solved his problems with the sword. In the year 2002, how far have we come from the caveman? With all the intellect, the inventions, the medical discoveries, the technology….are we still just a step away from a club and a savage? Is the general rule still, we sit down and talk, but if we can’t agree, we set out to kill each other? Are we still willing to let each one of our children suffer before we exhaust all other possibilities? Do we allow our egos to grow so large that we can no longer see beyond ourselves? Mankind on planet earth, 2002, still sees the sword as the last form of negotiation.

All the world watches as the conflict unfolds in the Middle East, each side believing they are right. Both sides have legitimate grievances. Regardless of how all this started, this is the cycle of violence that is in play at this point…..a suicide bomber blows themselves up in Israel…Israel in turn retaliates with weapons to strike back…..while doing so, children observing the retaliation become so enraged that they dedicate their lives to being the next wave of suicide bombers. Do you get the picture? Each side believes that they can win within the cycle. Sadly, as we are witnessing, there are no winners, just an escalation to the next level within the cycle. Like most conflicts, each side has its reasons for fighting, but if this is the solution to their problems, they will not stop until either all of the other side are dead, or a horrific event happens that will cause so much damage that the world will gasp in horror.

Two peoples praying daily to the same God….surely, there can be a better outcome? As the experts have said, including some leaders on both sides, peace is the only solution. Unfortunately, violence is being used as a road to peace. The wounds that have already been inflicted are going to take many years to heal….the longer all this goes on, the deeper the cuts. We are all God’s children….equal in the eyes of God. Each breath sacred. As God looks down on His children, He must shake His head in sadness. Each life lost brings a new tear. We have been given all the tools and intellect to make this world a paradise….yet, we refuse to evolve beyond the caveman.

I still have hope….that someone is going to emerge with a cool head and a calm voice….and say, “Enough.” As the saying goes, “sometimes it gets the darkest before the dawn.”

Dry the tears,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

Allright. The war in the Middle East is escalating daily…..some members of our government, when asked what will come next, a blank stare comes over their faces and they are left practically speechless. Two groups of people, who are supposed to live in peace, side by side, at this point in time cannot kill enough of each other’s people fast enough. The uneasy trust between Ariel Sharon and Yasser Arafat has been practically destroyed. Their wounds go back many years…..but now one is left with the question, who will kill the other first? How can a peace agreement be reached in an atmosphere of such chaos and distrust? Perhaps there is a solution, but it’s going to take one of these men to step forward and say, “Enough of the bloodshed.”

To start down the road to peace we have to start with the basics….forget the negotiations, forget the territories, let’s just start with a dinner table with only two chairs. Let’s just roll with this for a minute….what would happen if Ariel Sharon made a trip to Ramallah, walked into Yasser Arafat’s compound and said, “Would you like to have dinner with me?” Crazy you say….but with the whole world watching, Ariel Sharon’s status as a leader would rise tenfold. Or Yasser Arafat, with the batteries low on his cell phone, placed a call to Sharon, and invited him to come visit. For peace to come to the Middle East, it may take some crazy, unrehearsed, unplanned act like this to jump-start the peace process. So what would they talk about at the meal? Eye to eye, they could talk about their wives, families, and what they’ve lost. For if they are to ever live alongside one another they are going to have to restore trust on the basic level, and become friends. This all may seem like a Twilight Zone episode, but the same was said to Anwar Sadat when he boarded an airplane to Israel in the 1970s. Waiting for him as he got off the plane was Menachim Begin, Prime Minister of Israel. Two fierce enemies, who realized enough blood had been shed.

There are many out there who never would want this dinner to take place, or the prospects of a meeting like this they would call a fantasy. Well, if peace is ever to come to the Middle East, some dinner appointments, or something along those lines, must happen. There’s enough Hate to go around. It is at times like these the real leaders emerge. For the Future, for the Children, for Mankind, somebody has to come up with some new approaches to this problem, because so far nothing is working. So who will it be? President Bush? The Head of the Arab League? or the Secretary General of the United Nations?

So how about it? Dinner for two? Or let’s try some other so-called “crazy” idea….but at least let’s try something different. If you really want to know what “crazy” is, just let this current situation continue as it is.

Break bread,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

The world is at a Crossroads…each one of us has been affected, in our own way, in the past 6 months. While we were growing up, we were led to believe that the countries with the most powerful weapons had nothing to worry about. Surely no one would attack any nation with that kind of force. After 9/11, all that changed. Could it be that problems and conflicts that were pushed off into the future, have finally arrived at our doorstep? The attack on New York and Washington, DC….the crisis in the Middle East….the sexual charges surrounding the Catholic Church….all erupting within the past 6 months. Each one involving the destruction and the hurt, in one form or another, of the innocent. Yes, indeed, we are at the Crossroads.

What makes a group of individuals so angry that they would fly airplanes into skyscrapers, while sacrificing their own lives? Strangely, I am reminded of a scene from Godfather 2, where Al Pacino’s character, Michael Corleone, was visiting Cuba before the rise of Castro. He shared with his friends something that he witnessed. He mentioned that he saw a young boy throw himself into a police car with a hand grenade, killing all the police officers in the vehicle. He commented that even though the government of Cuba had an incredible police force, Corleone was willing to place his bet with the freedom fighters. As history has shown, Castro did eventually rise to power and take control of Cuba. In Vietnam, we had all the military hardware, but as one Vet shared with me, “What we were fighting was not a traditional war….but Guerilla Warfare. Children would walk up to you with a hand grenade, and you had to choose, do I die, or do I kill the kid? I chose to kill the kid, and for the rest of my life, I have nightmares.” Guerilla Warfare does not involve who has the most weapons or money….it involves who is willing to sacrifice the most.

The Catholic Church for decades moved pedophile priests from parish to parish, settling multimillion dollar lawsuits along the way, putting off today’s problems to the future. Well, the future has come home to roost. Denial and cover-up have been the status quo for many authorities and governments throughout the world. The only problem is that they eventually have to be solved, and time has a stinging way of making them worse. One has to wonder, what other surprises await us over the next six months?

Why am I so concerned about all of these tragedies? Because I have noticed a radical change in the e-mails I have received since 9/11. These tragedies have had a subliminal affect on us all. Some are totally aware of it, with for others, it shows up in the form of health problems, nightmares, or just plain depression. People are being affected by all this. The Crossroads are here….we can’t put things off until tomorrow anymore.

So this is what the Crossroads look like….picture yourself standing right in the middle. Behind you is the past, to the left is Denial, to the right is Acceptance, and in front of you is a sign that says, “The Future,” with a roadblock in front of it. There’s only one problem…in order to get past that roadblock, we have to acknowledge our denial and embrace our acceptance. Only then does the roadblock spring open and allow us passage. You may ask, am I being a little bit too dramatic? Well, ask yourself this question….at what point does a suicide bomber strap to himself or herself instead of explosives, a nuclear weapon? or a plane, instead of just gasoline in its tanks, contains either biological material, or a suitcase nuclear device? This, I believe, is what is really in the back of many of our minds.

So at this Crossroads, let’s pull up a few chairs, open some bottles of wine, soda, or water, throw a potluck meal together, and allow everyone to have a voice. Bring all the points of view out into the light…allow no one to leave until a solution is agreed upon. Why would we be throwing this party at the Crossroads? because each representative would know and understand that the barricade to the future would not be able to be opened unless a solution is reached. No more manipulation, no more games, just the plain simple truth. With all conflicts, there are 50 different opinions. Each one has to be heard, and if we really care about freedom, majority rules, just like any democratic election….the one or the plan with the most votes wins. Otherwise, we will all be fragmented forever, and the barricade to the future will develop cobwebs.

So there it is….some of my thoughts. Do I have all the answers? absolutely not. Maybe you have some better ones than I do. But one thing’s for certain….at the Crossroads, there is no longer room for “Us or Them”….it must now be “We.”

Open Minds, Open Hearts,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon

With so much going on, it’s not surprising that many of us feel exhausted or, sometimes, just plain burnt out. In a given 24 hour period it can almost feel that there are forces at work to rob us of our free time, energy, and relaxation. Over the years, I have searched on a personal level to try to find ways to keep my life as stress-free as possible. I may not have been successful at this every day, but I have come across some practices that have helped me along the way.

First I realized that scheduling was vital. It helped me take back control over Time. Second, trying to eat as healthy as possible. Third, drinking water to flush out the toxins from my system. And last, but not least, I have discovered, like some of you out there, the benefits of Yoga.

I know, you say the word “Yoga” to some people, and you get rolling eyes and chuckling, while others come forward and say, “Good for you.” I myself am no expert on Yoga, but please allow me to explain what it has done for me. When I first started, I thought, like many other forms of exercise, that Yoga would become repetitious, mechanical, and boring. In the beginning, I would lay on the floor, follow the exercises, and just go through the motions. Then after a few days I began to feel different. I found myself becoming more relaxed and more limber. My breathing improved. I suddenly realized that for me, Yoga is about stretching the body and relieving it of stress. These were all the benefits at the beginning. I started feeling less stressful in my back, it became easier to run up and down stairs, and I had more energy throughout the day. I was surprised how quickly all of this happened. Fifteen minutes each morning had given me all this. Now, I do it twice a day.

After one month, something extraordinary began to occur. I began to understand what other people who do Yoga were talking about. The same thing started happening to me. This is really hard to explain, but let me give it a shot anyway. When you practice Yoga, after a period of time the cumulative effects start to occur. The mind, the body, and the soul start to become centered. Your whole sense of being becomes synchronized. Your body starts showing you how much you are stressed out on a daily basis, and where you carry that stress. Because of that awareness, you can take care of it. For me, Yoga, combined with prayer and meditation, are potent forces to fight off stress and negativity. The benefits of Yoga improve with time. Age becomes a friend, not an enemy.
Whenever I find something that has helped me, I always try to pass it along, because really, that’s what life is all about. A relay race where one passes the baton to another. Thoughts that help are meant to be shared.

To your health,
love, Jennifer Avalon
© 2002 Jennifer Avalon