Picture life as a valley between two mountains. Within that valley is the soil that can grow Love, Hope, and Dreams. As we look upon our valleys do we like what we see? Is there room for more growth? You see, for things to grow in the valley of life it takes care, nurturing, and feeding. To get our valleys to be plentiful one cannot be afraid to get their hands dirty. The soil responds to hard work. If all we do is sit and watch, our valley becomes wild…undisciplined….and before too long overcome by weeds. If care is given, the weeds cannot grow because upon sight we can remove the danger.

The valley can be a strange place with its own set of rules, but to be good gardeners we must respect those rules, for as we plant seeds we must know that the climate and the environment can affect the growth. It’s important that we share with each other knowledge of how to grow a greener valley, because all of our valleys are inter-connected. There are always people traveling through and in many cases leaving behind their thoughts and influences…sometimes good, sometimes not. The soil rewards those that plant well. It brings forth radiant colors that can been seen from miles away. To respect the soil, is to respect life. The Heavens provide the water that is needed in our valley….from it comes the rain that nourishes the green gardens and blossoming flowers. Without the clouds, even with hard work the flowers would stop blooming and before too long all that would be left would be dust.

If we are to enjoy the fruits of the valley, it takes a combined effort of earth, man and Heaven. Each one important to the health of the valley, for the fruit to be abundant. Heaven provides the sun and rain, the soil provides the foundation, and man provides the planting and harvesting. Yes there can be floods and catastrophes, but the valley can be repaired with the right amount of care and love.

Each day each one of us gets up in the morning and upon opening our eyes is the valley which we have created for ourselves. It doesn’t have to be perfect…perhaps it never will be, but the work on the soil is important because from it good seeds can grow. There is work to be done everyday in the valley…sometimes it’s hard, but by the end of the day, it feels real good to see the sun going down and the valley looking so much more alive.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Do we really own the things we possess or do they sometimes in some way own us? We attach so much of who we are and our memories to objects that we “possess”, so that when a certain vase is accidentally broken it becomes us who is shattered. Should it really matter in the greater scheme of things that the vase is broken? Nothing else has really changed…the memories that we’ve attached to this object remain, but the only difference is the object that represents those memories is now gone.

I live in a house that was built in 1830. There have been approximately five families who lived here before me. As I look around the rooms there are contributions that were made by those families that still remain to this day. I too will make my contributions to this house, but at some point the house will be passed on, hopefully, to someone else. I cannot help but feel sometimes like a care-taker…even though I am the owner. I accept that with a smile and I hope that the future families of this house receive my contributions as joyfully as I have embraced the ones from the past.

Through the years we all accumulate objects and possessions that we hold dear to our hearts. It could be something that we came across on a holiday or something left behind from a relative who has since deceased. Yes they do matter to us for the memories they hold, but if we lose them somehow, do the memories disappear? It’s wonderful to have things that matter to us, but it’s also important not to allow those items to start “possessing” us. We attach so much importance to them that we start to forget what they really represent. It’s nice to have nice things, but when we are gone, what happens to them? Do we pass them on to our children or loved ones and hopefully they enjoy them as much as we did, or will they see no value in what we treasured? Is an object just an object…in reality, yes. What changes that is what we attach to it.

In the past month across America many people have lost in some cases all their possessions, through floods, tornadoes, and the ramifications of El Nino. Life’s accumulations gone in a matter of moments. We know the images…heartbroken people on television screens, searching for reasons to rebuild. In most cases, the story ends with the person saying “We may have lost all we have, but thank God we are alive”. Some are not so lucky…they feel the true sense of loss…someone has died.

At the end of the day, all we truly have is each other. The relationships we have built up over the years that mean so much to us. We still have our memories, even though we may not have the objects. But what matters most are the lives we have touched and the others who have touched us….that is priceless

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Have you ever had those days during the week or month where everything feels “just right”, a sense of peace comes over you and just about everything flows. For a lack of a better word, I call this state of mind “centered”. I’ve always wondered what it is about those days that leave me with a tremendous sense of fulfillment and satisfaction……then, just as easily, because of something I experience, the feeling is gone. I start to feel a little left or right of that center…not quite “there”….not “in the pocket”. I think many of you know what I’m talking about.

Being centered is really a sense of oneness both spiritually and emotionally. It’s an understanding of why things are the way they are, and how we can discover solutions to the problems that grip our lives. Those problems are what constantly tug at us and pull us from our center. Just as easily as there are reasons for why things go wrong, there are also reasons for why things go right.

What I try to use to keep myself centered is something I call “re- enforcements”. It could be a certain book that makes tremendous sense in giving me a positive outlook on my life, or a conversation with a certain friend who together we answer our own questions, and yes, also, a prayer to God or a deceased loved one. I personally get incredible fulfillment from meditation…I try to put aside 15 to 20 minutes a day to relax and focus on what I need to do to help me stay centered. I don’t always succeed, but more times than not I do receive that sense of well-being. It takes work, but the rewards far outweigh the effort. We do have a choice here…it is not all life out of control. It’s surprising how much of that control we give away. It’s a funny thing about life….we do something once and then to succeed we constantly have to keep either doing it or re-learning it. Here’s an example: I can read a chapter of a book that makes total sense and gives a wonderful feeling of peace. Then, because of other things I have to do or distractions,

I find it’s easy to just forget what I have just read. Some people would call this the attention-span….much has been written about how the attention-span of society is becoming shorter and shorter. Perhaps that’s true, but I find if I re-read parts of that chapter I re-discover what it was I got out of it in the first place. Maybe that’s why people re-read the Bible, and other holy books, for that sense of focus and understanding. It’s amazing how many people go to see the same movie more than once….how many people do you know who have gone back to see the movie “Titanic”? Again and again? I guess you don’t become the number one all-time motion picture unless you get repeat watchers. Maybe there are many things we don’t get the first time around…but through repeated experience more is revealed.

So this week if you haven’t already, seek out those things that re- enforce the positive aspects that you want in your life. Don’t feel silly or stupid if you find yourself needing to read them or do them over and over again. Humans are creatures of habit….so why not make them habits that benefit you as a person? The tools are there for us….we just have to learn to use them.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

A number of people each week write to me about their financial concerns and how it affects their personal lives. I do believe a persons value should not be based on their accumulation of assets and wealth….however, it does affect lives. The amount of debt that we acquire and investments we gain does have a direct influence over the decisions we make daily. One can easily feel like a bouncing ball, powerless over the direction that ones life is taking.

There are so many ways to make money, and just as many ways to lose it…but in one way or another it all starts from the core of who we are….that’s why I believe the best form of investment is investing in yourself first. When you invest in yourself, you learn new skills, feel a sense of control over your life, and gain inner confidence. Each day you can implement the changes that are needed to bring about financial stability and preparation for difficulties that can arise from bills and monetary troubles. It’s amazing how much we spend on things that give us only temporary enjoyment and zero long-term fulfillment. Yes it’s wonderful to have a little fun once in a while but it’s important to keep track of the expenses because if let get out of control they can cause difficulties.

A person can never learn enough. There are so many ways we can grow. Some people will have a hard time at watching you implement changes because it changes their perception of who they think you are. That’s okay….but don’t be afraid to say “It’s okay to grow”. If it’s education that’s wonderful…..it can even be reading a book at home…but whatever you choose it’s important that it helps you increase the value you have to yourself. In the workplace these days we always have to keep learning new systems, and new ways to tackle old problems. It’s important to embrace those changes and find ways to implement ideas to make the job better.

It all starts with us. The value that you feel personally and the contributions that you make to your personal growth does have a spill-over effect to all facets of your life. It can enhance relationships and yes, increase your overall income. The danger is stagnation. Life is a process of continuous growth and change…things come, things go, and hopefully we become better people because of it. There are wonderful things for us to do out there….don’t be afraid to try. You’re worth the investment.

Follow your heart,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Whenever we are confronted with a problem, goal, or at an impasse, I believe we enter a configuration called The Maze. You know what a maze is….remember as children we used to look at mice darting around trying to find their way out through the other side, how we used to see an overview and chuckle at the decisions each mouse would make to get out of the maze. Well, I know we’re not mice, but perhaps for us as humans in some strange way the same rules apply. When we are faced with a problem we enter The Maze. Each direction looks identical, but as we proceed ahead we hope we have chosen the right one which will lead us to the way out, and the overcoming of the problem. The solving of our dilemma is discovering the corridors that lead to a dead-end, and as we back-track we discover the pathways not to go down. By a process of elimination we continue the search for the corridor that has no blockage. The Maze is a place where we not only solve our problems and accomplish our goals, but most importantly it is a place where we find out who we are.

In life we continually enter and hopefully leave the mazes that are put before us. The Maze is a place where you can ask for help…..maybe others before us have been in the same maze, and with their help they can show us the pitfalls to avoid, so that we can find the way out a little faster. You can also ask for help from above. There is a benefit to having an overview of The Maze of Life.

We may all feel that we are different from the rest….but really are we? We all have problems we have to overcome, many of us feel a need to accomplish something with our lives, a lot of us want to love and be loved and all of us confront The Maze. The fear is that we become trapped within The Maze, with a sense of no way out, but the more we discuss and share ideas, the walls within the maze can begin to break down, and the fears subside. The greatest illusion of all is that we are alone with our problems.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We spend much of the week trying to keep our heads above water….there is always something that demands our full attention immediately, so we in turn focus on those things because we feel it is vital to who we are and how others perceive us. Yes, some jobs are important but how much of the mundane do we allow to rise to levels of vast importance? At the end of each day you start to ask yourself “Who’s running the show?” The power we have over our lives and what we feel we need to accomplish is blurred.

In a lot of cases much of what ends up happening originates from us….either what we fail to do or what we choose to accept to do. Since that is often the case then we do often have a say in the outcome and the direction we take in life. It is very easy for us to fall into the trap of thinking that we must think of what is best for “me”…when in reality what is good for “me” can also be good for someone else…. both purposes can co-exist together. I think most of us in our hearts want to be good…but because of the past or certain experiences we’ve been subjected to in life we tend to get sidetracked and forget in some ways how to be good or look upon goodness as some form of weakness. For me, with the problems that I face I find that each week I have to keep re-learning certain good habits and disregarding the bad ones. I guess life really is one big classroom!

What scares me is how easy it is to forget to be kind. With all we deal with we get so caught up in our own lives that we start to forget the things that matter to us the most. I have started each Monday to try to think of something that I can do to touch someone in a positive light. It could be a smile, or a thoughtful comment, but at the end of the day it does give you a good feeling inside. Yes some people won’t appreciate it….but most will. Sometimes it amazes people that you honestly stopped to think about them.

I believe human beings start out as wonderful, kind, loving people….and then they run head first into something called “life”. Life can change everything…but the core of what we are still exists…it’s just that some have to dig a little deeper than others…and it’s okay to offer a little help with that digging. One way to help each other is through these so-called little random acts of kindness. It is a pebble in a pond. If bad things that happened to you have tremendous ramifications then why shouldn’t good things have the same effect? I believe these acts of kindness can raise the spirits of not only the person who is receiving them, but also the originator of those acts. We’re all connected, in one way or another, on this planet.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Each week for my essay I try to search for symbols to describe in one form or another the message I am trying to convey. This week I have chosen cars……yes, each one of us in one way or another can look upon ourselves as a vehicle. We drive around the road of life at all different speeds, through all kinds of weather. How our car performs is determined by how we maintain our engines, and the selection of fuel we use to power our journey.

Fuel is needed to keep our cars fully charged so that we can continue on to the destinations we choose each day, week and year. So many of us because of negativity, fear and lack of energy at some point during our week start to run low on gas or fuel. How and where we choose to refuel our tanks is up to us. Like a car the type of fuel we use can affect the performance of the vehicle. In human terms we too need refueling from time to time. What’s important is to know where your gas station exists.

Many find prayer a form of recharging and centering…others look to a good conversation with a close friend, or family member. I sometimes find visiting an art gallery or seeing a show at a museum a good form of spiritual nourishment. The arts, in whatever form, can be a wonderful place to find inspiration and peace. No human engine can run twenty four hours a day without some form of rest. What we choose to do during those rest periods determines how far our vehicle can go on its next trip.

I’ve called this essay “Find Your Fuel” because I feel it is so important for each one of us to find the things that we need to maintain and carry on our lives in a manner that can lead us to find each successive level of living. Like a good night’s sleep, so too are our periods of rest, when we re-fuel vital components that are necessary to our health. When you find those sources of pure energy, jot them down……you will find that when you are feeling low they will be there to give you the strength and courage when needed. Fuel is out there for us to find.

Don’t forget to fill up,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Too many of us change is a very frightening thought. Change can be exciting, and the acceptance, in some cases, of the unknown. Change represents the future….a direction at a given moment of where we are heading. The concept of what once was is evolving into something else.

There is great comfort in memories. Images that we can conjure up at any given moment to remember the good times, and images of how we want to see ourselves and the world. They may not be realistic sometimes, but we wrap ourselves around them as some form of protective blanket that shields us from the cold of the unknown. There is only one problem with this….at one point our memories were in the present…we lived them, and they became the past. Don’t get me wrong, there is something wonderful to be said about holding onto wonderful memories….but it’s important that we use them as springboards that can vault us ahead into the direction we choose to go….but if all we do is hold onto the memories, we in some way, stop growing, and our library of memories is no longer being contributed to with fresh input.

Time puts change right in front of our faces everyday. Time brings us on a collision course with what was, what is, and what will be…..that is what becomes the basis of the problem. We either have to take control of our lives, or we become victims of the life that is taking place around us. In other words, you either generate the change, or the change generates you. Even when we choose not to make changes, things around us are changing…and they can have a direct affect on us anyway. As I write this, I am focusing on my thoughts, while at the same time, I can hear the cardboard boxes I put out last night being picked up for recycling by the sanitation men, the clock is ticking telling me that it is getting closer for me to go to the post office and mail off some letters, the clouds look to be gathering for an early afternoon storm. The point I am trying to make is, while you’re focusing on one thing, other occurrences are happening around you that can just as greatly affect your life.

Many people who write to me talk about their fears, hopes and dreams. In some cases, they feel powerless over what is happening in their lives. I know bad things happen to good people, and that one day all of us pass on to the next world, but a good percentage of your life and how you react and receive it, is in your hands. You are the captain of the ship…the engineer of the train…you have power over your own life. Yes there were some wonderful times, but don’t be afraid to create new ones. This life of ours is an adventure….I think it was meant to be that way….an ever evolving story that I believe, never really ever ends….part of the “Book of Life”. We all contribute to that book in one way or another.

I used to fear change very much. I looked on change as a very scary occurrence…then one day, I realized it will happen with or without my approval. I decided if there was to be change, I wanted some say in the matter. Now I look upon change as a way for me to correct my mistakes, and hopefully, evolve into a better person. I took control, and with some help from above, my ship these days is sailing a lot better. I found that when I made peace with my fears, change became a friend.

Sail on,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Over the next few days a story is about to be played out that could have incredible ramifications for the people here in my country, the United States of America. These types of things have come and gone in many countries around the world…..some proven false, some not. Within the past twenty four hours numerous television stations and newspapers have one story on the table. The Pope visited Cuba for the first time….an historical occasion, yet, it was reduced to sound bites because of the evolving problems at the White House. These are not happy days for Americans, nor should they be….no matter which “side” you’re on.

The questioning has begun. No matter what happens, over the next few months America is beginning a process of looking inward. At this point in history the questions that need answers now are Who are we? What have we become? and Where are we going? I have met some wonderful people during the past year who are out there doing incredible things in their own way to make their lives and others better. I have also met some people who appear to be spiritually bankrupt…no hope, no love, and on the verge of giving up. That, I can say, is heart-breaking.

Nobody’s perfect, we all make mistakes. What’s important is that once we find the damage we repair it and try the best we can to continue on. Some things are wrong, and some things are right. Deep down inside we all know the difference. We all may have different points of view but how healthy can we stay and maintain a quality of life if we embrace what’s wrong, and allow it to guide us? I have met people with drug-dependency and they have told me one of the hardest things they had to come to terms with was admitting that what they were doing was a problem and how it was affecting their lives and their families.

Through our lives we learn to deal with anger and pain in our own way. Some use addictions, but one way or another the anger and pain will raise its head. Many of us chase peace of mind and look in all directions to try to find it. We search for the tools that are needed to help us build a life of bliss. It is not an easy journey. Our leaders are not perfect either, but we do look to them for guidance. If the guidance deteriorates then we become a ship without a wheel. I, like many, look to God for guidance…but we do need leadership also from our elected officials.

In the end, we are human beings. Some build, some destroy…..and then in the middle are many who have choices to make.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Each one of us are in some way a work in progress. A living being and spirit that is constantly evolving into the future. Even if we don’t want it to, time hurls us forward giving us the option to progress with it or stagnate. In everything we do many of us try to heal the mistakes of the past and set a list of goals that we believe can make our lives better. We reach out for help in many different directions…..some ask advice of friends, others look to the Heavens to ask God for guidance. We are a canvas that is constantly being added to, that is never quite finished until our death….and even then, we go on. None of us have all the answers, and that is the beauty of life, that we continue to discover things we don’t know that can lead us to becoming better people.

We are all painters, adding and subtracting to this canvas we call Life. Sometimes others walk into our room and say to us, “How about a little blue and green in that corner?” You see, none of us are separated from the rest. We are a group of people in individual rooms painting away everyday with connecting doors under one roof. The time we spend at our canvas differs with each person. But as we go through our connecting doors and see how others are progressing it is sad to see some people’s canvas surrounded by cobwebs, having long ago stopped painting, while others are vibrant and full of life.

I think God wants us all to become great painters in this school of life. We all need help and guidance along the way but it is within our power to create a masterpiece. All many people need is a little encouragement and a little belief that it can happen, it can be accomplished, while all around us we are told it can’t be done. It can. It’s okay to give a little advice yourself once in awhile. You may see somebody making a mistake that you yourself made last week, and you found the correction. Don’t be afraid to share it….say it with kindness…nobody wants to be criticized.

It’s important that through all this work in progress we enjoy our successes and be compassionate through our failures. If we really look at the canvas it will tell us what is needed….the canvas is you and me. With each stroke of paint we try to evolve to the next level of living. Yes, Life in some way to many of us is an incredible experiment in finding healing and
solutions to the questions that haunt us. There are answers and they can come from many directions.

A painter lives in each one of us. Some may not like how you paint, but it still can be beautiful. The school of life can never have enough painters. There is always room for another masterpiece.

Paint on,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon