I recently had an interesting conversation with a few friends of mine around a coffee table one morning. We were each contributing our personal thoughts of the day until the word ‘Love” came up. Instantaneously there was five seconds of silence. We soon discovered we all had our own unique relationship with Love.
Of the four people at the table, myself included, each of us had been enhanced and/or hurt by Love. Three of us shared our thoughts and stories past and present on how Love has affected our lives. Even though some of the experiences have been painful, we were mostly in agreement that through Love, our lives over time had been enriched. One person at the table had a totally opposite opinion on Love. This person whom I will call “Tim,” told us that he has benefited from limiting the amount of Love in his life. He had an unhappy childhood, few dating experiences, and never married. He also proudly commented that he didn’t even have a pet, because, “I wouldn’t know how to take care of it.” He added that “because of my limited exposure of emotional attachments in my life, I have decreased the level of lifetime discomfort.” So the rest of us looked at each other and said, “Okay Tim…let’s examine this a little more.” The following are some of the points that came up in our discussion:
1. The day you are born, you get your first taste of Love, hopefully from good, responsible parents. As some of us know, this may not always be the case.
2. Love is a double-edged sword. When it works, it is euphoria….when it doesn’t, the trauma can seem endless.
3. To Love is to accept Loss. Relationships can end, consensually, or suddenly through death.
4. What is a life without Love? An empty sphere where all you hear is the sound of your own voice.
5. It is better to have failed at Love, then to never have loved at all.
6. Life is meant to be shared.
7. Love + Age = Enlightenment.
So you get the gist…these are some of the thoughts that were raised during the conversation. Pros and Cons…on the topic of Love. One point that I found quite interesting is the question of Love and Loss. For each person that we choose to love, we do enter into a relationship where the possibility, and in some cases, the eventuality, of Loss is quite real. For example: Our parents. Generally, they pass on before us. We grow up with them, we share our thoughts and dreams with them, our joys and sorrows…until one day they leave us here. Now, perhaps we should ask ourselves this…as painful as the parting may be, would we erase all the memories? Did we learn, and what did we learn, from the experience? Yes, indeed…Love may end in Loss…but because of it, have we become more evolved and better human beings? Isn’t that what it’s all about?
So does it take Courage to Love? Under the circumstances, you bet. It’s always easier in life to make no choices, have no opinions, and limit Love. Like the baseball player who is in a batting slump, the Champions step forward to take another swing, while the Fearful walk away. When the Champions of Love swing and hit a Grand Slam Home Run, they will tell you, “There’s no other feeling like it.”
Step up to the plate,
love, Jennifer Avalon
Â© 2003 Jennifer Avalon