I’ve touched on this topic a little in the past, yet, this Holiday Season it could not be more important. We so easily assume that people we meet absorb, retain, and maintain a full and true perception of us. Unfortunately, this observation couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s so easy to expect that Uncle Harry or Aunt Ellen will totally remember all that we have said from past get-togethers, and then, out of the blue, they say something to us that may draw a blank stare from our faces. Somewhere along the distance of time and space something got lost or misunderstood….the interaction between two or more people can become a language unto itself, where, at times, the translation can get lost.
So this Holiday Season, how can we go about solving or correcting the dilemmas that engulf the conversation? First, we have to assume that placed on top of our heads are antennas that transmit and receive information and like a long-distance telephone line there can easily be a delay factor. When we sit down to dinner, to diminish this problem, speak slow, simple and short sentences….take a breath, and continue on. It allows the mind of the other person to take in and digest your thoughts much easier. When the response comes from the other party, you may be surprised after a couple of minutes that they too may start to speak slower and simpler. Before too long, you begin to notice that the volume in the room starts to decrease, and listening and talking become unison in volume. Misunderstandings are drastically reduced. We are led to believe that there are general languages on planet Earth…English, Spanish, French, Chinese, Russian, etc.,….but what’s not reported is that within these languages are multiple other nuances that can probably be missed or misunderstood. Of course, there is always somebody who speaks a language unto themselves with a booming voice, while taking no time to hear responses……that’s life!
Many of us only get the opportunity to meet some people once a year…that exchange can be a pleasant experience, or a sheer horror. Taking into account some changes that can be made, perhaps we can all tip the scales in our favor. Between the lines of “pass the stuffing and mash potatoes,” it’s perfectly fine to whisper, “you’re great,” or, “I love you,” or even a simple smile. It can sometimes come across better than a thousand words.
love, Jennifer Avalon
Â© 2004 Jennifer Avalon