Many of us these days live our lives like a rocket, zooming through days, weeks and years stopping for a glance or two to make sure that the coast is clear to continue on at breakneck speed. We rarely wonder if there is ever any evidence left behind to show that we had been at a certain place at a certain time. This time of year many of us enter a season where we get together with friends and family we haven’t seen for quite awhile. We sit around a dinner table saying the same lines and passing the same thoughts as if we’re on automatic pilot. You see, it’s not that we don’t love these people, it’s just that in many cases we either forget to say it, or we feel one day we’ll get around to letting them know how important they are.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if at some point around the dinner table somebody pulled out a video tape or cassette recorder to capture the moments of a special family get-together. I’m not just talking about people joking and laughing, and yes sometimes acting like a bunch of fools, but hearing how we all feel and need each other. It’s not easy to just say how much you love people in front of them, but maybe in some way through our own words we can get the message across. This eventually will take on a life of it’s own. When some of the people have passed on there becomes a record of who they were and how they truly felt. In some way it may help us heal from the pain of our
loss.

I have heard of a number of families who are starting to take this kind of thing to heart. Some are going so far as to start a kind of “family library”, containing photographs, documents, cassette recordings, and now videos as a way to show future generations the family tree as a living legacy. My mother recently mailed me a series of cassettes that my maternal grandmother made before she passed on, telling family stories that wove a wonderful fabric of family history and anecdotes. I will treasure these tapes, and will pass them on to my son at some point. You see, my son didn’t
really know his Great-Grandmother… but through these tapes he now will have a better knowledge of who came before him. How many of us truly know the generations who came before us? Do you know how your great-Grandfather was? How he looked, and what he did to pass the time? Don’t feel bad if you don’t….so few of us do. These family records are important… and what a joy to look back on.

So this Holiday season as you spend time with loved ones, and as you pull out the camera to take pictures, turn on the video or cassette recorder….with time it just becomes more and more valuable.

Take the time to preserve,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

A couple of years ago I mentioned to a friend of mine that in a few days it would be my birthday, so he asked me what was I planning to do too celebrate? I told him nothing special, just to try to enjoy the day. He commented that my birthday should be a very special day to me…it’s my day, and that I should do something special for myself. When my birthday arrived I went by myself to see a movie. I realized that taking the time to be alone for a couple of hours was very relaxing and enjoyable, and I returned home feeling quite refreshed. This got me thinking….that it’s very important that a person takes time, even if they can only spare one or two hours a week, to go off by themselves for a walk, or a drive etc…so that they can colllect their thoughts, and let go of some of the stress.

It’s so important that we make the time, once in awhile, to recharge our batteries. It’s good for our health and emotional well-being. Spending time with family and friends is important, but taking time to enjoy life alone can be equally rewarding. It allows us the benefit of relaxing and returning to our loved ones energized and focused. An empty well can only give so much

Spending time alone is not a selfish act, even though some may feel threatened by it. A happier you can give so much more to yourself and to others. Nobody “owns” anybody and although we do have responsibilities in life to those we love there is only so much we can continue to give without feeling exhausted. These days with both parents working and people at times working longer hours the pressure and stress levels can rise to critical proportions. Sometimes it’s just smart to “cool out”.
It’s okay sometimes to take one step back, so you can move two steps forward.

Fill the well,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Every morning we get up and go about our day heavily influenced by the things that happen to us. After awhile we start to resemble a bouncing ball that bounces from side to side, never knowing where it’s going next. It seems to be a process that continues year after year, and as we look back we never seem to quite know where the time went. Many times in my life I’ve felt like a sailor on a ship that had no destination or course. The steering wheel turned where it wanted, with no one showing the way. At some point each one of us has to walk towards that wheel, as fearful as it may seem, and grab it and begin to take control of our lives. As we chart our course we have to ask ourselves “Who am I? And where am I going?” One thing I’ve learned along the way is that if I’m not honest with myself about what it is that I want to do with my life, it becomes almost impossible to find a sense of fulfillment and a lasting happiness. I’ve tried to do a number of things in life…most of the time for the wrong reasons. I guess we all become preoccupied with what it is other people want us to be, sometimes even with good intentions. It’s important at certain points to stop and listen to your heart. In my case, I’ve always loved writing songs…songs that say things, not just something with a good beat. It took me awhile to accept that this was what I must do with my life. Part of the reason it took me awhile to accept this was because it meant taking risks. I am currently at work on my third album. The letters that I have received from people regarding my first two records are the fuel that keeps my ship going and on course. In my life I find spiritual guidance and personal reflection a very valuable source for the times when I get scared and feel that I’m losing my way. With God’s help, the answers come, and my music keeps evolving. My ship sometimes sails through stormy weather but what keeps me going is that somewhere on the horizon I know I will see the sun. Very rarely is there smooth sailing all of the time. We must battle our storms…but the journey must be undertaken so that we can see how important and needed we are as individuals. So if you haven’t already, don’t be afraid…take control of your ship. Sail the sea to your destination and discover the wonder of who you are and what you can be.

Good Sailing!

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

As many of us have come to realize, overall there are basically two types of people….those that are here to help bring people together through their actions and those that will do everything in their power to keep people apart. The choice is made by each one of us. There are many out there who are making incredible efforts to make our world a better place and to point out to us the things that we lack so that we can personally contribute to others and to ourselves to repair the damage when needed. Yes, making a living is important, but underlying most of our actions are other contributions that we make to society. Positive thinking people have realized that it is a dead-end street to keep barriers up between human beings. The question is, can we continue to go forward without first healing the divisions that surround us as a society?

There are those who spend many waking hours looking for ways to find fault and to ridicule. They scrutinize every word and every action to search for the point where they can contribute the element that is needed to set up a roadblock, hoping that through this action it will encourage others to follow. Fear and hate are very powerful weapons. Once they get a hold on your system they can spread through a person like a cancer. If the person is willing, there can be a cure.

Each one of us, sometimes week by week, make the choice on who it is we are to be. It’s not easy being optimistic but it is a position of strength. It’s very easy to find fault in everything, and to show others no sign of hope.

At the end of our lives, what is it that we’ll look back at? How we made a difference for the good, or how many notches we have on our belt for the damage we’ve inflicted?

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

In all walks of life somewhere at some time somebody contributes…somebody cares enough to make a difference. Through ridicule, envy and jealousy some special souls out there are making this planet, and in some cases, our lives, a better place to live. So many little actions contribute a tremendous amount of love for people to understand that there are individuals who can see through the obstacles and setbacks that surround us everyday.

I walk through the park every week-end….a place to me of an abundance of life. There are people sitting on benches, talking about their families, children playing little league and soccer…all interacting and sharing their energy and ideas. I visit a coffee shop in the morning where people sit around, talk and laugh, and look for inspiration to battle through the day. A man can enter, feeling lonely, depressed and lost. But he leaves after a hearty conversation with a smile and feeling upbeat. The interaction between people is a very powerful tool. Just a little word to a person at the right time can make a world of difference. We all need encouragement…somebody who understands and are in some way in the same boat with us. We don’t want to feel alone. We forget sometimes that our words have incredible meaning to people that we meet, and vice-versa. Words can heal, and words can hurt.

It’s a great feeling when you interact with a friend, or perhaps a stranger that you may never see again….and if you can be a shoulder and see them leaving with a smile, you have contributed to their lives. Heroes are not only people who do heroic things on a grand scale, but they are also people who can help people with just one word. “The little guy or girl” matters. Each one of us everyday can be a hero to somebody. It doesn’t take a lot of work, just a smile, a gesture, holding the door for somebody…but it sends someone off that day with a positive feeling.

Goodness can multiply….I think in some strange way we’ve been led to believe that unless we stand out in society we don’t count. Well, they’re wrong. Heroes live on every street, in every town, in every neck of the woods. Some are out and about giving of themselves everyday, and some are sleeping. Some heroes sleep, waiting to be called upon to make a difference for the better. So if you’re a hero, my thanks to you. And if you’re a sleeping hero, it’s your time to awaken. People need you. God cannot have enough soldiers.

A former sleeping soldier,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

I feel I have a lot in common with the high-wire walker in the circus and the surfer who rides the waves at the beach. Balance is vital to their success. We all in one form or another strive for that balance.
Time after time you hear successful athletes talk about being “in the pocket”, “in the groove” and “finding their space”…..I think what they’re really saying is that their spirit and body become one, centered. To be truly happy I think each one of us must strive to find our balance. We get glimpses of it…a sense of peace and calm when worry and fear subside. We feel fresh, focused and secure.

To find the balance, I believe you have to supply the spirit and the body with equal amounts of energy, care and love. You can’t neglect one or the other…both parts of us are vital. The spirit strives to find the connection to Heaven. If we don’t supply it our spirit wanders…sometimes in the wrong direction. It’s as if the part of us that is one with God longs to reconnect with where it feels it belongs….while the body that is earthly-based strives for nourishment and understanding so that we don’t forget it too has a purpose…. it’s role as the vehicle for the spirit or soul. If the vehicle, or body, is sometimes damaged, the spirit or soul can rise to compensate for the body. The souls uses the body for its earthly existence, but one day the body is abandoned as the soul returns home. If the soul is damaged the body can only sustain it for so long. The damaged soul will just continue on in directions that will bring about harm to the body.

We all live in a world that is not perfect. Each day we strive for a meaning to all of this. It is not a crime to be imperfect….but the effort to improve is taken into account by God. God knows the situation here…and totally understands what it is we go through everyday. In my belief Jesus is the way for me to let my spirit connect to Heaven. The link between Heaven and earth is vital for our balance and survival here on earth. To ignore or forget the spiritual level of our existence is a major mistake….and perhaps the reason why this world is so out of balance.

Seek the balance,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

This time of the year Spring brings forth new growth and new optimism. It’s all around us. The trees, the flowers, come to life and blossom with an incredible array of colors….the outdoors truly comes alive.
John Lennon once said in his song Beautiful Boy “Life is something that happens to you while you’re busy making other plans”. So much of what flows through our lives goes by us so fast that we don’t, most times, see it or feel it until it’s gone. What is it about us as people that we expect so much and enjoy so little? And disregard many of the things that happen to us that we cast off as mundane. Is it that we are so lucky that we have so many choices at a given moment or is it that we take for granted that those choices will always be there?

I recently saw a group of children around five years old playing in a playground. The look on their faces….the joy in their expressions as they grabbed as much of life as they possibly could. I thought to myself, why don’t we look at life that way anymore? What is it that happens to us as we progress in years? Do we get so caught up in the bills, mortgages, and the paychecks that we forget the essence and lose the spark of what life is truly about?

The conversation I had with a friend of mine who has a terminal illness really put things in perspective for me in alot of ways. She told me since she has been diagnosed with her illness she feels more alive then when she was in perfect health. She could not believe how much life she had let slip by. She told me she had a successful career, lots of money, and a comfortable home, but the better part of her day was spent on the phone answering phone calls and sending out faxes. She considered this at the time to be a truly successful life. Once she got over the initial shock of the diagnosis of her illness, she walked out her door one day and the air felt different. Her eyes felt more open. Her ears heard every tiny little sound. She asked herself, what on earth was wrong with me before? From then on everything changed. Food tasted different, and she found herself becoming more considerate of other people…their feelings, their thoughts, etc. We finished our conversation with her asking me one question, “Why did it have to come to this for me to really come alive?”

What we have to always remember, I think, is to never forget how precious life really is. And how easily it can be taken from us at any moment. Are some people more alive than others? I think so. Maybe that’s one of the choices we have to make along the way. Yes there are struggles, but let us never forget that we were all once one of those five year old children who had the wisdom to enjoy life. Perhaps the five year old is still there…..don’t be afraid sometimes to let him or her out to play!!

Take the time to love, and live,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Sometimes as we go through the week, by about Wednesday we seem to run out of gas, wondering what it is we must do and where we must go. We look for the strength, the power that we need to help us understand the problems and the set-backs that seem to enter our lives week by week. The search begins to find the answers to understand the whys and the wherewithalls in this existence that we call life.
We search for somebody who can feel the pain and the hurt that we carry with us each day. In this world that is sometimes made up of darkness, with a glimmer of light, many times I have felt lost, in need of a friend, someone who could understand how I feel. The emptiness somehow subsides when I look to the Heavens, and I feel the warmth and the presence of somebody who understands, and feels my pain. Even though I feel I am responsible for the choices that I make here in this life, I do believe that I have a partner who walks with me, and holds my hand. That partner to me is God. If I am to believe that this existence is all that there is, then I feel cheated. But I believe there is something much greater than this planet, an existence where many people walk as one. So even in my darkest hour I find the hope and the vision to keep on going, because one day I believe I too will walk as one through God.

The dreams, the set-backs, the failures, are so confusing sometimes. We wonder what it is we are to do as people to make and to leave this place a better existence for all. Perhaps that is what it’s all about…. put in our two cents, so that the others that come after us find it a little easier. The pleasure and the gifts that can be given everyday by each one of us is astronomical. A kind word or friendly smile can go so far, and the ramifications are tremendous. We are all one family, trying to find our way home. The lost sheep, looking for that light that shines, to help us understand why it is we are here.

Whenever you feel lonely and adrift there are people out there who can help. Perhaps friends, family or a kind stranger. But there is help. You don’t have to do it all by yourself. Whenever you look around and see nobody, don’t be afraid to look up, written across the sky may be the answer that you’re looking for. Heaven has strange ways of letting us know that they watch.

I sometimes joke to myself that if this is all that there is perhaps I should ask for my money back! But I believe there is more…there is some profound reason that each one of us is here, and there’s some special gift each one of us has to deliver.

So if you feel you’ve reached a dead-end, nowhere to turn, maybe the help you need is nearby.. Don’t be afraid to ask.

A friend,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

These days it’s so easy to get overwhelmed with the amount of things that we have to get through everyday. There never seems to be enough hours to get through even half of what’s on the lists that we prepare early in the morning so that by evening we have weeded through the chores and assignments that are needed to hopefully progress our lives.The size of the goals and obstacles that confront us are sometimes so gigantic that the thought of starting each one is frightening…. but somehow we must. If you’ve ever stared at a ladder that you have to climb, looking up to where you must go can seem like an impossible ordeal. But if that task is broken down into fractions, each step by itself is much easier to handle….so too is life. If all we do is look at how far the distance is to our destination it is easy to find reasons to turn back or give up. If the journey is looked at mile by mile the distance somehow becomes shorter, because the focus of our measurements is not centered on the whole, but by twenty-five percent, fifty percent, seventy-five percent, etc. The journey becomes easier. I don’t know if you’ve found this to be true, but each year that I get older there seems to be more things to do!! Perhaps it’s because I expect more of myself, and I set higher goals. If one is not careful, the mountain becomes so high and the excuses too numerous. I guess you have to be careful not too try to accomplish too much, or there may not be enough time to give to each thing individually, resulting in little success. Focus is the key. If we can look at each thing by itself, after awhile the total of accomplishments start to add up. The overwhelming pressure does start to subside.

In a world that is so preoccupied with the “quick fix”, fifteen minutes of fame, and a short attention span, it is no wonder why so many have an increasingly hard time focusing in on what really matters, and how to increase the level of happiness in their lives. So take it one step, one day, at a time. Don’t be afraid to look for encouragement, whether it’s through prayer, friends, family. Surround yourself with the positive…your enemy is negativity. Each day turns into a month, and into a year….look at your life as a series of chapters that one day will become an incredible story. These stories become the essence of who we are, and what we leave behind.

The future is yours,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

A number of people have contacted me wondering how they can keep a positive perspective in their day to day lives, with all the negativity we are bombarded with every day. I guess I could say, why bother? Give up and surrender. But that would be too easy. I believe in some way each one of us is here for a reason. Everyone has something to contribute that no one else can. There is something special about everyone. That part of ourselves is the most important because it is the element that we have the most control over. If I choose to be good and forthcoming to the people around me it can be done. But if I choose to do nothing, that will have an effect too. To me, there is nothing more fulfilling then giving of yourself to others…the ramifications are endless. Yes it is a form of Love. I believe each one of us can contribute in some way to the advancement of positive vibrations and emotions that are so desperately needed in our society today. There are people doing bizzare things and taking many on strange courses…it’s time for us to understand who we are, and what we need to produce a stronger and much more caring society for ourselves and for our children. To keep hope alive, we need fuel…..energy that can be produced to help people believe that somebody can make a difference. Find your fuel….maybe God is the answer. Perhaps prayer to a deceased loved one, but reach…the energy will come forth. Even if you may not believe it, people do care. Don’t be afraid to believe in yourself. I believe God does. We are approaching a time of the year where life starts to blossom. Don’t be afraid to let your life blossom too. Life can be wonderful. Even with all of its disappointments, the wounds can heal. Where there is anger, there is intelligence. Where there is intelligence, there is hope. Where there is hope, there is the possibility of change. Things can be turned around. The choice is within us. Choose hope, choose life, choose love….it does make a difference.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon