Each day I watch my three little shih-tzu dogs bound through the door into the snowy back garden. On the left hand side of my garden is one mountain of snow, a peak that rises to the level of my kitchen window. Every morning the dogs look at the mountain of snow and nuzzle each other’s noses, perhaps saying to one another “Look, look at this mountain…is there any way we can climb to the top?” One by one each dog takes a turn at climbing to the top, but each successive attempt is met by failure. Those of the faint- hearted would surely have given up….but not my three little dogs. They believed they would find a way to reach the top.

The three dogs range in size. Elsie, who is the oldest, portrays herself as a mother hen. Her word is sacred to the others. Elsie sets the rules and the daily schedules. Freddie is the male dog. He prides himself on being a security guard, and a master-at-arms. The baby of the three is Phoebe…the smallest physically but her determination is fearless. As each one took their turn at trying to conquer the mountain of snow, it was little fearless Phoebe who battled the ice and dug in her toenails to conquer the mountain. As I watched, Phoebe stood on top of the mountain, letting the wind blow through her hair, like an explorer who has succeeded at their goal. What a sight indeed! Freddie and Elsie looked at each other and said perhaps “We will have none of this….we are being upstaged by this pip-squeak!” Suddenly Freddie headed up the mountain, coached and encouraged by Phoebe at the top, and lo and behold, Freddie too reached the summit. As you can imagine, eventually Elsie too made the pilgrimage to the top. As I observed through my window at my three dogs, feeling like true successes, they looked in at me, for me to notice and acknowledge what they had done. I guess to them the world looked very different from the height they had they risen to. But the pride and joy that I saw in their eyes was priceless.

Why is this important? Because in this case it was the smallest and most fragile dog who made it to the top first. But instead of gloating and telling the other two to go back, she encouraged their climb to her level. Yes, I know Phoebe loves her other two siblings, but maybe she understands that what good would be the climb if it could not be shared by all? I know many of you out there have pets of your own…and I know you too understand what I’m talking about. What we learn from our animals every day in many cases we carry over into our own lives. The intelligence of these creatures is sometimes mind-boggling. It’s truly understandable why these creatures are called “man’s best friend.” Others, too, receive equal rewards from cats, birds, fish, etc. Pets can teach us things about our own humanity. We don’t have to be the strongest, or greatest, to rise to the top and spread a little joy around.

Spread some joy,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Boy does time fly! And how! Sometimes you feel like you’re on a runaway train called Life that doesn’t quite know it’s destination. As each week rolls around, by the week-end we look back and realize that if we’re lucky, we got through about half of the things we wanted to accomplish. Month after month, year after year, suddenly you find yourself saying, “Enough already, I’ve got to do something about this.” I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine. We talked about the saying “Time flies when you’re having fun,”…..my friend also added “Isn’t it funny, as you get older time flies even when you’re NOT having fun! It just “flies!”

I carry around with me a pocket calendar that I keep in my purse. Each week I add to the days what it is I need to do for that week. Lo and behold, it starts to become very interesting when you look at your life on paper. All your comments, all your appointments, right there in front of you, in your own handwriting, wrapped up in time, dates, and places. This little calendar I have greatly helps me come to terms with the time that flows through my life. $19.95….is a small price these days to pay for help on any level, but my trusty little calendar is always there to support my memory of what I must do. Especially these days many of us need to squeeze as much time out of every moment as we can. Surely there must be a way to slow time down?

A couple of nights ago an electrical blackout engulfed the wintry village I live in. Everything, without a moments notice, went dark. As I searched around for my flashlights and candles I noticed something interesting started to happen. My house felt like it was regressing back in time. The candlelight projected shadows on the walls that made my home feel softer and warmer. Even my little dogs quietly sat back in their beds and enjoyed the display of light. For me, time slowed down, life became simpler and very focused. I started asking myself, do I have enough food, do I have enough water, can I stay warm? These are the things that mattered, not “Oh darn, I’m going to miss my favorite television show tonight,” or “The microwave is out of action tonight.” All I cared about was that we were safe. As we progress from the natural elements into man-made elements, does time speed up with the more we take on, and is simplicity left behind?

Cars, trains and airplanes are here to make our lives easier….there is nothing wrong with that. But could it be it is us who are losing sight of the “moment.” With our hustle and bustle, hurried-up lives we organize moments into groups where eventually one single moment can no longer be seen. The moment becomes truly taken for granted, until pain acts like smelling salts to wake us up.

Each night I think it’s important for every one of us, when possible, to look back on the day that has passed…take a few breaths and slow the body down. A wise man once said, “One of the hardest things to do in life is to become a better person.” Each morning I believe many of us set out on that path. We may fail sometimes, but some days we succeed. Yes, time flies, but how fast in the end is truly up to us.

Take the time,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Peace of mind, security, a sense of purpose and inner fulfillment are some of the things people spend an entire lifetime trying to capture. Some have traveled the four corners of the world to seek the answers to their questions of life. Each one of us could spend a million dollars to try to find the meaning to some of our inner questions, and still come up feeling shortchanged. Many of us look outside, believing that at the end of some rainbow there is that pot of gold, with all the secrets of the Universe, while perhaps those secrets are inside each one of us. Maybe that’s the way God planned it….so that no matter how rich or poor, each individual would have within his or her grasp the knowledge of the Heavens.

The entertainment mogul David Geffen told an interesting story about his outlook on life, in his autobiography. David spent many of his early years managing artists like Laura Nyro, and Crosby, Stills and Nash. He believed that once he made ten million dollars all would be well and all of his problems would be solved. One day while on the road in a hotel room David Geffen was informed that his net value had now exceeded ten million dollars. Upon learning this information, he looked around the hotel room and realized he was still the same person, and in some way, his problems had just become different. At that point David had a nervous breakdown. Many of us believe that with the right amount of money or possessions our lives will be “just perfect.” Not necessarily so.

To obtain inner peace and continued contentment we must carefully monitor our spirituality to make sure that our souls are being fed. Just like the body needs food on a regular basis, so too does the soul need reflection, prayer, and healing. When we are sick, we seek out doctors to heal our bodies of disease and infection. Some of us meditate to relieve the stresses of the day. But so few of us take the time to heal the wounds of our souls. I believe without these wounds being healed it is next to impossible for a person to sustain inner growth and stillness of mind.

Sometimes the most rewarding thing we can do for ourselves is to sit alone in a room, tell ourselves it’s okay to laugh, it’s okay to cry, and it’s okay to love ourselves. Inside our hearts are the tools that are needed to heal the wounds of the soul. I’m afraid they can’t be purchased at the local hardware store…but maybe that’s the way it was meant to be. The journey to healing the soul is one that someone can start any day.

Take the time to heal,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

We all experience different kinds of bonding in our lives. In some cases the interactions pass by without us truly noticing something important took place. If you’ve ever witnessed a group of men around a television set on a Sunday afternoon, rooting for their favorite team, you know what I mean. At first all is quiet….gradually emotions begin to escalate from the performance on the field and before too long there are cheers, boos, bear- hugs, and high-fives. Once the game is over, in some cases friends are made for life. Each week at arenas and stadiums around the world fans rush to support their favorite team. It’s an interesting experience to watch twenty- thousand people cheering for the same team. I guess you could call this “extreme bonding!” (smile) but bonding it is!! As the crowds file out at the end of the game perspiration and relief shows on many of the faces. It’s easy to ask yourself, “How many people actually played in this game?” Hopefully fun was experienced by all.

I, being a female, love to “bond’ with my girlfriends over shopping and some coffee or a snack. There can never be enough stories or tidbits of advice. We are proud that we feel we keep the “homefires burning”, and we share this common bond. Many of us use food, sports events, or movies as a way to get together and “connect.” We may not say we love each other, but in a way, aren’t we?

Children form bonds with playdates, and participation on teams at school. It can be as simple as a person sitting next to you in class and one day a casual smile or word can form a friendship for life. We all visit the local supermarket, deli or coffeeshop. You walk through the door and standing around are a few people shooting the breeze for the casual ear to hear. It could be talk about the weather, politics, or front-page news….but before too long you too are drawn into the conversation. I usually leave these places with a smile on my face, grateful to know there are others who take the time to have a point of view.

We all go through life feeling we are so different, but through bonding we discover many of us have the same problems, and crave the same hopes and dreams. Although society, for better or worse, places us into groups, the awareness of our ability to bond can break down the walls that separate us. It may be a wink, a nod, a smile or a “hello,” but it says “I care” and “I too am a part of the human family.”

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each year during this Holiday Season quite a few families get together to exchange presents and to share kind words. Also during this season a number of people find themselves alone. I thought this year to make a few suggestions in how to make the holidays more enjoyable and reflective.

Together
One of the most important things for us to do on this holiday and all holidays is to preserve the memories of these occasions. If possible make sure there is a camera available….or, even better, have a video camera. While these devices are recording they may not appear to seem like treasured moments at the time, but as the months and years roll by they become priceless documents of our lives. Around the trees and fireplaces feel free to share family stories….a wonderful way to fill the home and surroundings with laughter. Many of us only get to see certain friends and family members around the holidays. Make the most of it, and remember to share some Love because as we all know, someone next year may be missing.

Alone
For those of us out there alone this time of year don’t wallow in despair….create your own celebration. Go to the store, shop for some goodies, rent a video…and head home to sit back on the couch and surround yourself in your own atmosphere. Some other suggestions for those by themselves…..turn on the trusty old computer, visit some of your favorite websites, or send an E-mail or place a phone call to a few friends. One nice way to never feel alone is to have a pet…bird, dog, cat, goldfish, etc. They become family. If you need to get out of the house, and feel the urge to give, visit a children’s hospital with stories or gifts, or help serve food at your local church or synagogue…there are people much worse off then you.

Many of us are blessed, but because of our problems we forget. We as human beings are only really here for a short while. Embrace those you love, cherish the memories, try not to dwell on the “down” moments…there always seems enough of them to go around! even during the happiest of times. This Holy season is a perfect time to look back and plan ahead……and give thanks.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS from my heart to yours,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We all have our goals, dreams and ambitions. We all want to succeed at something, somewhere along the way in life. In most cases, it is rarely mentioned that the road to success doesn’t necessarily come easy. Flashed before us each day on television are an array of personalities labeled “the best that can be.” But as we peel back the covers, the stories are revealed to show that the climb up the ladder was not always smooth. Perhaps it is true “good things never come easy,” but they can and do happen.

I could sit here and say that once you set in motion a plan or a goal, that everything is going to go your way and family and friends will be so happy that they will leap for joy and unconditionally give their support. Yes, many of us do have friends and family that do smile with approval, but just as many don’t. That’s just plain reality. As the Bible quotes “The Truth shall set you free.” Once we accept this scenario, the defense mechanisms are in place to protect us from most surprises that come our way. Our expectations stay grounded. An example is a story I heard from my local convenience store owner, Jack. About ten years ago one of his customers won three million dollars in the state lottery. The first thing his customer did with his winnings, believe it or not, was to purchase the most expensive, best-looking hairpiece for his head. It always bothered him that he had lost his hair at an early age. So Jack said to the lucky-winner “Oh boy, I bet you lost alot of friends since you’ve won the money.” A sadness came over the winner’s face. He said, “Friends I have, it’s family I lost.” He went on to mention, “You would not believe how many people hit me up for money in my family. I never expected this to happen…..but if I realistically gave everything that they asked for all the money would be gone. Not only do you hear from brothers and sisters, but also second and third cousins whom you’ve never met.” What the winner eventually decided to do was to set up a living trust fund for his children and grandchildren. He had to accept the fact that from here on in some in the family would not have a kind word to say about him. Many of us, once in awhile, purchase a lottery ticket…but do we ever stop to think, or are we prepared, for what can happen if we win? The same can be said for our own successes….just be prepared.

The backbone of most endeavors is hard work, planning, and determination. Sometimes we may feel like we have a hundred people with us….other times we feel totally alone. What keeps us going is faith, belief, and focus. These are the ingredients that can sustain us through any storm. Hell may break loose around us, but if we “stay the course” we will not lose sight of our destination.

We’re really not much different from trains, boats and airplanes. They start their journey toward a destination…..and onboard are maps, time schedules, weather information, etc. Before setting off they must know where they’re heading and expect to arrive. To the best of their ability, they are determined to get there.

Life IS a journey…..choose the ride wisely.
Love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Every one of us at some point in our lives gets overwhelmed by the pressures of everyday life. In many cases family and friends depend on us to carry out our daily duties in a timely fashion. Things don’t always run smoothly, and one mistake can spill over to others, and before too long our mountain of errors can look like something that is almost impossible to overcome. We become our own worst critic. Life is not perfect….we are not perfect, and at some point it’s okay to say “Time out, I need a break.”

A car can be driven for miles, but eventually the gas tank has to be refueled…so too the body and soul. To take time out doesn’t mean you’re a “quitter”..it’s not a sign of failure. Even the most successful people will tell you, to get to the next level sometimes you have to recharge the batteries, to provide the thrust to soar through the clouds. The body can only be driven so far without a rest…after awhile judgment becomes hazy, and the immune system, on overload, finds it harder and harder to keep things running healthy. Perhaps inside our bodies are meters that can easily tilt towards the red. It’s up to each one of us to not let that happen…to “cool the engines.” We can only go so far on “overload.”

Each week plan ahead….jot down each day the important things you want to accomplish and while doing so ask yourself, is this too much for me today? Probably you are the only one who understands what you have to accomplish on a daily basis….be kind to yourself. We all ride on this merry-go-round of life….some can take going around ten times without a break, while others can only handle five. It’s a wise person who knows when to say “I need a rest.”

We love our friends, we love our families…we want to be good citizens…we don’t want to let anyone down. Sometimes these tasks become difficult for any human being. We watch the evening news and after awhile our minds start tuning out. We read the daily newspapers and more and more find ourselves gravitating towards the entertainment and sports sections. Why? Maybe it’s our mind’s way of saying “I can only take so much.” We can’t stop the world, but we can stop ourselves from overloading on it. Whose life is it, anyway?

Rest and Relax,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

The way we look at people is very much influenced by our upbringing and role models. We seem to have quite a few preconceived ideas at formulating and predicting who people are and how they will affect our lives. Bad experiences tend to leave unpleasant memories and enjoyable experiences leave us with memories that warm the heart. Life can get confusing at times…it’s very easy to mistake what’s good as bad, and what’s bad as good. Ultimately we must find ways to develop detours around these, in some cases, damaged perceptions of our minds.

It may sound a little strange, but sometimes we have to trick our minds in order to open the pathways to true perception. One way to do this is to look at people as liquids. Example, if you meet somebody for the first time, look at them…what kind of liquid, meaning flavor, color, and fragrance do they have to you? It becomes very interesting when we look at people as liquids because you are using forms of sensory perception you don’t normally use. Most of the time when we meet people we observe what they’re wearing, their hairstyle and sexual appeal, etc……generally surface input. These things rarely show who the person truly is…the “essence” of who they are. Just because somebody doesn’t know how to color-coordinate their clothing doesn’t mean they’re stupid…it’s just something they didn’t learn or it wasn’t important to them. What matters here is who do we allow to enter into our lives on a long-term basis. I recently read an article that mentioned that up to ninety percent of your happiness can be based on who you choose as a mate. As you can imagine, these relationships have a profound affect on our lives. If you meet someone and see them as a liquid that has a metallic, bitter taste, and then you meet another person who you see as a liquid that flows like a clear mountain stream, which person would you prefer to spend time with?

Whether we care to admit it or not, most of the power that we have in our lives we freely give away. The more you “take the bull by the horns” the more responsibility you assume over your life. Many of the articles I write are written as a way to empower people to take control and take back their lives. When what we’re doing doesn’t work, we must seek out other ways around life’s roadblocks. In this case, seeing people as liquids.

We all have a say in how our lives turn out, but that can only happen when we’re in the driver’s seat. By all means, have God as your co-pilot. But God has given us the power of Free Will for a reason, to develop our own families, relationships and lives. Isn’t it interesting that so much of our bodies are made up of liquid?

Let the river flow,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

There are certain Laws that govern the Universe. Some call them “Laws of God,” or “Laws of Truth,” but they are in place as a form of checks and balances to try to naturally keep our reality centered. These Laws can work for us, or against us, depending on what position we have placed ourselves, in context with the dimensions of our existence.

Every person has chosen a position or a placement of time and space to exist in. Why we are “where we are at” is because of our experiences and eventual choices that progress us towards the future. If you’re happy where you are in your life, you know that in order to stay in that “bliss” certain measures must be taken to keep your life in check and running smoothly. Yes, accidents can happen, but if the right rules are in place your ship of life will gradually revert back to its chosen course. If the other side of the equation is true, that a person is not happy where their lives are at, or where it is heading, then I’m sure they know changes have to be made. And in life, change doesn’t necessarily come easy.

The moment you decide to implement any kind of change in your position in the context of the Universe, be it thought, physical, or spiritual, the atmosphere around you will also change. If a person is in a bad relationship, there has been built up, over time, components to keep that situation in place. Upon change, those components will be altered and in most cases, the change will not be welcomed. In fact, most of the time when you decide to change your life

It’s not hard to understand why many of us after awhile feel like pieces on a chess board with somebody else moving us around, when in reality perhaps the movements that are made are with our cooperation. It’s not easy to rock the boat, but sometimes in our lives it must be done. The Universe has in place Laws that personally hold us responsible for the decisions we make. When we make mistakes, those mistakes can be corrected with the implementation of corrective choice.

I believe in Forgiveness, and I believe in a Loving God. I try to keep this in mind in all the choices I make that affect my life. I don’t always get it right, but there’s alot to be said for trying, because eventually trying becomes easier, which finally leads to success.

We have the power over our own lives. In some cases we just don’t know it. We were never told that this lack of knowledge has allowed others to take advantage, but the Laws of the Universe are in place to help us, when asked, to build a better life.

Seize the day,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

No two humans are alike. We all have different dreams and ambitions, but sometimes that doesn’t seem to translate too well in this world. As we emerge from the womb each one of us grows at different rates, both physically and mentally. Our achievements and set-backs position us all at different levels on the scale of life. Why is it then we are told by the powers that be that we must succeed at our given talents by a certain age, or we have “missed the boat.,”…. Lady-Luck has “passed us by.”

It would be wonderful if all of us miraculously came into our higher self at the age of twenty or twenty-five, basking in our glories and being anointed as the “next big thing.” Society would put us at the head of the table, and say “See, this is who you can be.” Jerry Seinfeld recently told a joke on his HBO special. Jerry said, “Isn’t it interesting, when you sit in an economy seat on an airplane the flight attendant in first-class pulls the curtain and gives you a look that says “Why don’t YOU make more money so YOU can be here?” Maybe you will, at a different point in your life.

In the music business quite a number of artists have peaks and valleys. The Bee Gees, for example, were the hottest thing on the planet twenty years ago with “Saturday Night Fever”, disco-disco-disco! Shortly after that nobody wanted to play their records. To quote Maurice Gibb of the Bee Gees, “We couldn’t get arrested.” This past year the group released their CD “Still Waters”, and they were seen in a highly successful HBO special. They’re back on top. Perhaps so too do our lives follow the same course…ups and downs and back up again. The most important thing of all is not to give up. To really appreciate the top, you sometimes must taste the valley.

Ages, stages, ups, downs, peaks and valleys are forever a part of the quilt of our lives. Society may not want us to believe it, but we do indeed peak at different times. It’s never too late for dreams, for goals, for expanding. We’re all supposed to “get better with age”, like fine wine. Well that wine starts as a grape that needs to be nurtured and cared for…then lo and behold, one day the fruit of the labor bursts forth. So too can we, when the time is right.

Each year the average life-span of human beings grows longer. This in itself presents us with a great dilemma. If all we do is concentrate on the first quarter of our lives, and look at it as the be-all and end-all, then what do we say to a man or a woman who is fully functional at eight-five years of age? You don’t count? Hopefully we can begin to look at age as an advantage, not a curse.

Age with Grace,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon