In life, some decisions are always easy. We look at something and we say yes, or no….. but the ones where we feel confusion, difficulty or a plain old blank stare, those are the ones that place us “on the fence.”
Relationships, jobs, where we live, etc., are in many cases choices that we make over the course of our lives. Sprinkled in among these choices are the ones that many times turn out to be the most profound….the “maybes.” The ones that say, “it could go one way or another.” The oddball ones….the upside down choices….the conflicts that come out of left field. The “on the fence” decisions are the ones we either never saw coming, or are not prepared to deal with right away….they are the ones that we mull over, which eventually have to be decided, in order for us to go on.
“On the fence” is not always the best place to be…..but it does give us the chance to reevaluate where we are and where we want to go. For example: You’re working at a job where you have been for the past eight years. You get along great with everybody at the office…..hey, even the boss loves you! Then all of a sudden, out of the clear blue sky, you run into somebody at a party and during the conversation, that person is struck by your talent and decides to offer you a job on the spot, at double your present salary. Inconceivable, you may say? It happens all the time. Anyway, you go home, mulling over the thought of whether you should take the offer, or stay put at the job where you have been for the past eight years. One more little ingredient to throw into the pie….. at your present job there is only so much further you can go, while at this new offer, promotion potential is extensive. The decision that we make in these moments can drastically alter not only the course of our own lives, but our families too. A typical “on the fence” decision.
So how do we decide? One way is to limit our chances for mistakes. Make a list of the pros and cons for staying at the present job, or taking the new one. Research as much as possible the advantages and disadvantages of both. It is never easy leaving a place where it is safe and comfortable……but we must always ask ourselves, if we stay in our present position, will the air eventually become stale because of lack of movement? Change is sometimes a frightening thought….but without it the air cannot stay fresh. Human beings are a strange crew indeed….we want safety, but not at the cost of boredom. We may also decide to stay put in our present job, because the company is more stable. Perhaps all that is needed may be to open a window….let a little fresh air in. One way or another, the decision eventually rests with us.
We go through a number of these situations in our lives….many times each one unique in its own way. The most important point is that we come out of these phases stronger and more sure of who we are and where we are going. The fence gives us the ability to reevaluate where we place our feet and which direction they will travel.
Place your feet on solid ground,
love, Jennifer Avalon
Â© 2001 Jennifer Avalon