Internal Struggle

Every single morning as we open our eyes and greet the new day we begin the daily struggle of what part of us has the domain to control and make our decisions. It is an internal war indeed, where we contemplate, are we spiritual beings? Or, just human beings?

The majority of our daily decisions are either planned or decided on a moment’s notice. Sometimes it is very hard to see on the faces we encounter, while on other occasions the confusion or anger is evident for all to see. The spiritual part of us seeks for wisdom, and sees the greater good in each decision that we make. Our spirituality centers us with the conclusion that we are here to grow and improve the world around us. The human side of ourselves is driven by ego and instant gratification. Materialism is the key component to feed the temporary joy that needs to be fed daily. Our human side embraces the ego in which the boundaries of acceptability can be pushed further and further out.

In reality, we need both….the human and the spiritual. Yet each day we choose which part supersedes the other. One part of us makes the decisions…it can waver back and forth between the two, but when the totals are added up, at the end of the day most times there can only be one winner. Homes, cars, clothing, food, entertainment, etc., are viable needs in one’s life, but, we always have to ask ourselves, how far are we willing to go to get them? Is there a line we are not willing to cross? Let’s not even contemplate how much these decisions can affect family members or loved ones. Our human side can sometimes see no limits.

I don’t have the answer….but I will tell you what I try to do. Each hour on the hour during my day I try to put aside what I am doing for a few moments, to re-center, reflect on the past hour, and let my spiritual side listen to my human side, and then, let my soul make the decisions. It’s not always easy….but I find at the end of the day, when I try to do this practice, as I look back I have a better understanding of what I did, and how I can proceed to a better tomorrow. All through the day there are always little voices within us pushing us this way and that way…it is only when we stop and reflect can we gather a greater understanding of our Higher Self. Prayer and meditation are always great tools to silence the moment. Once in a while all it can take are a few deep breaths to make the right decision.

In silence,
Jennifer Avalon
(c) 2004 Jennifer Avalon

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