We assume that the people we love, family, friends and co-workers truly know who we are deep down inside. We think that how we feel and think is automatically and correctly seen by others that we interact with on a daily basis. Sometimes that can be so far off from the truth. How many times have we heard the words, ” I didn’t know you were like that” or “I didn’t know you look at things that way”…. the point being it is so easy for people to misjudge us.
Communication is probably one of the most important tools that we must learn to use correctly. When communication breaks down everything is up for grabs……any miscalculation can solidify. There are so many people who speak different languages and different dialects of that language that it is so easy for one word to mean one thing to one person, and something else to another. Add to that the way we were raised, and our religious upbringings, and it is easy to see how things have become quite messy.
How many people who live together all their lives really know each other? Just because you’re married 50 years doesn’t mean you truly understand the person who shares your space. We keep so much of what we think and how we feel bottled up inside. We assume that the other person must know what we think and feel because we live together. It’s almost as if we believe we can read each other’s minds at will. Well we are not God, we are human, and we make mistakes…. but they can be corrected. Don’t be afraid to ask questions…you may be surprised at the answers.
Ask somebody who is close to divorce what happened? Yes sometimes they did marry the wrong person….but many times the communication between the two of them collapsed. I think it’s very important that members of families take an hour or two a week to discuss things that are on their minds. You may not like what you hear, but at least you’re hearing it. And they too hear you. All points of view should be respected….this involves sitting around a table looking at your family as individuals, not as masters and slaves, or whatever. If you take the time to listen, you may regain love and see things differently. Once you get past the anger, you may find peace.
If we can do this with our families and relationships, perhaps we can do this with the world…..please God.
Take the time to love,
Â© 1997 Jennifer Avalon