At certain points in life it’s very important to stop, observe, and look forward. To continue on along the road of life some things have to be shed and left behind. It may not be easy, but in some cases vital to make certain choices to start new chapters and end others. In other words, closure. Flowing through our minds everyday are strands of memories that we use to chart the course to our future. We rely on these memories, some good, some bad, to help show us the mistakes we don’t want to repeat and offer guidance for the decisions we make on a daily basis. It’s never easy….but to evolve as a person is a necessity to keep life fresh and enlightening. To arrive at these decisions sometimes it may entail sharing your thoughts with a loved one or close friend, or spending time in prayer with God. Balance and Guidance is needed to allow the body and soul the energy that both require, to grow. We all have had those relationships that haunt us to this very day. It could be a bad experience during childhood or first experience with love that went wrong. We always seem to ask ourselves, “Maybe if I only had tried a little harder it could have worked out”…some people carry these thoughts with them to their dying day. Bad experiences are important if they are used to help us understand life a little better, but in many cases they are held onto like cherished battle scars that we don’t want to let go of. At some point for healing the door must be closed and the memories replaced. The more positive thoughts you let flow through your mind, the more you can accomplish. I have a friend named Eddie…he’s a mailman by trade. Recently Eddie mentioned to me he can’t believe where all the time went. This week he is retiring from his job of twenty years. He said “Jennifer, it feels like only yesterday that I was pitching baseballs in Little League which turned into me receiving a try-out to pitch for the New York Yankees. The day of the try-out I was very nervous…so nervous that I blew it. Can you imagine if I’d made a good impression that day, hey, I may have pitched for the Yankees! Been a star! But look what happened….I ended up being a mailman”. I said to Eddie, ” There’s nothing wrong with being a mailman”. “But”, Eddie replied, ” It’s not the Yankees”. The memories of those days haunt Eddie to this day…in some way it leaves him feeling like a failure. Isn’t it sad that from those days of Yankee try-outs on Eddie looks upon as wasted time. What he failed to mention to me is that he has a wonderful wife, with three beautiful, grown children. The haunted memories overshadow what matters most. If he only could have closed that chapter of baseball in his life it would have allowed him the vision to see the real contributions that he has made since then….to his family, friends, and to the neighborhood he has so valiantly delivered mail to these past twenty years. There are many Eddies out there….brave souls that feel one failure negates everything thereafter. Life comes upon us in stages and at the end of each stage some things are not meant to be carried forward. Like the river that flows to the sea, it’s important that the water not get blocked….but when an obstacle occurs a strong hand is needed to continue the journey. We all must at times clear the path and leave the past behind.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

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