A person looks at his sailboat moored at a dock, and thinks, “Where shall I go?” He or she could easily just unfurl the sails and sail on off and allow the winds to dictate the course…or, plot a destination to a chosen port. If the sailor were to just allow the winds to dictate the direction, we would call that “rudderless”…but why then do so many of us feel it is perfectly fine in life to sail on off without a direction, not knowing where we may end up?

On the surface, life looks very mysterious…many questions without answers. When things go wrong we feel mystified…why us? Life, you could say, is the best mystery novel ever written. We all read it, trying to decide where we fit in, and where it all ends up. The less we plan the course we take, the more we allow others to determine where we are headed on the sea of life. Free Will reigns, for better or for worse. The question we all must ask ourselves is “How much do we hold of that Free Will?”

Who are we? What do we want? Where do we go? As we look out onto the future, what do we want to see? One morning we all wake up and decide, “Enough already”….we pull out a piece of paper and start jotting down thoughts and before too long the pen starts to flow freely…the thoughts fill the lines. After a few minutes we look down and see written before us our hopes, our dreams, our wishes…and at the top of the next page we write “How Do I Get There?” Slowly our fear of our inner thoughts starts to diminish, and looking at ourselves and what we want out of life doesn’t seem so scary anymore. We start a new page and start to devise an outline of where our ship will sail. A strange sensation goes up our backs…and all of a sudden excitement materializes. We ask ourselves, “Can it be this easy?” Of course not…but with each step we take of our Free Will the odds and the control begin to tilt in our favor. One drawback to all of this is that if we’re at the helm and things go wrong, the captain is always responsible. It’s very easy in life when things don’t go according to plan, to blame other people. But when you’re at the helm, those consequences, most of the time, fall on your shoulders. So I guess we can’t have it both ways….but there is a wonderful feeling to be standing at the wheel of your life, feeling the wind blow through your hair, looking to the horizon and knowing where you’re headed…the sails fully extended, with the wind as your friend, the Heavens above you, as you say to yourself, “This is who I am…this is where I’m going.”

Set sail,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

From the day we are born our expressions and verbal communications send out messages to the world around us about how we feel, and think. Through the early years we learn that each sound and facial movement has a reaction. As we evolve as people through our teenage years into adulthood many times we start to forget how important our communication skills are for us.

Relationships, friendships and the challenges we face at work are vitally connected to how we express ourselves. Two people who are married can very easily begin to misunderstand the meaning of what each is trying to convey to the other and over time what one thought the other meant evolves into something totally different. Two people who live together, strangely, can become strangers in their own home. Why do these things happen? We are all trained in the early years of our lives the basics of expression…the only problem is to each person the basics can be very different. An expression of Love can freely be interpreted as a criticism or complaint. People’s feelings can easily get hurt….we all have our soft spots. A conversation among friends can bend and weave down roads we never initially intended it to go. The power we have with our words and actions is awesome.

Each one of us are like aircraft carriers, sailing through the ocean. At our disposal is the ability to sail calmly and smoothly…also there are weapons on board that can be used at will. It falls on our shoulders to decide what we use and at what time. When another ship heads towards us we must identify if it is friend or foe. With the wrong expression and lack of communication it is sometimes hard to know the difference. Think how easily a war can start.

Why is all this so important? We have the weapons, we have the smiles, we have the handshakes, and we have the tears. Family and friends sail into each others lives daily….we must be aware of what we convey to others about what we think and feel. We have to accept responsibility for our expressions and correct them when they are misinterpreted. It’s important we truly get to know the people we love….through honesty, through tone, through touch, through the barriers. We’re not perfect, we do make mistakes, but we can reach the heart.
Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

This week I would like to touch on some things that are imbedded in our daily lives and are generally not mentioned too much in the media, but they have a profound effect on all our lives. I’m sure you can add to these, but here are a few I would like to share with you, from my own experiences. I try in my life to be optimistic, but I believe that knowledge is power.

1. Did you know that 85% of the health care costs are spent to prolong the last eighteen months of life?
2. Is it a reasonable assumption to believe that the Social Security Fund in the United States will exist as it is in fifteen years?
3. Lawyers often prolong cases regardless of who they represent?
4. The Mutual Fund basically makes the fund company rich while you get a pittance of the interest that your money makes….however, at least it’s better than money sitting in a bank account gaining little interest.
5. Record companies are basically nothing more than slave labor institutions. You would be horrified if you looked at the basic contract that is presented to most new artists.
6. In this day and age, if you are over twenty-five the marketing machine pays little attention to you, while people are living longer than ever.
7. God lives….karma lives. There truly is something to be said for “what goes around comes around.” What you put out eventually does come back to you.
8. Most men should not retire. Yes, some don’t have a problem adjusting to retirement, but few prepare.
9. Who you marry and how you handle your money determines 90% of your happiness. How many arguments are spent over money and how it is handled?
10. Live to love, because life is very short.
11. Violence is the voice of pain.
12. Our most valuable people are the old….in many cases they have seen and heard it all.
13. People eventually die…it doesn’t mean God is punishing you….it’s just that we are all only here for basically a short while.
14. Buy things that add to your life and appreciate with time.
15. Forgive and forget. After awhile, hate will eat you up if you just carry it around with you….learn to let it go.
16. If you think there is no God, and this is IT, then be sure to demand your money back when you pass from this world because with all the pain you had to overcome to grow as a human being, you got ripped off!!
17. Believe in something other than yourself.

People are searching for answers trying to understand the reasons why things go wrong in their lives. We all have good days and bad days….many times knowledge and growth can tilt the scale in your favor. Each week I receive numerous E-mails that touch on many different subjects…God Bless those people who are trying to make themselves and this world a little better….you are truly the Heroes of tomorrow.

Love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

This week I moved into my new home in the woods. The house is surrounded by trees that stretch over three acres. For the better part of my life up until now I have lived in the city, feeling that I was at the center of communications, culture and stimulation, believing that I had everything at my fingertips…..maybe so, but there is more to life, as I am learning.

The transition from city to country, granted, has been made easier because of technology, but the trees and land have a language of their own. Each morning I take my cup of coffee out to my deck and listen to the choir of nature, with the backdrop of branches swaying back and forth. There is alot to be said for peace and tranquility…. as one gets older the value of them increases greatly. I used to believe I needed the constant bombardment of news, information and current affairs, to feel a “part of the picture,” while not realizing co-existing at the same time is the support system of nature that keeps it all in balance.

Many of us, over time, accumulate questions…the why’s, the who’s, the where’s? Sometimes without knowing, we begin a search to find what it’s all about. I believe the tools are there….we just have to use them. The body and soul crave to find balance to coexist in a world that struggles with equilibrium. What are some of the tools? Faith, Knowledge, Simplicity and Peace of Mind….not easy things to maintain these days….but they are our weapons against turmoil.

It could be a room, a place, a state of mind, but it’s important that it’s something that we can go to daily to replenish ourselves against negativity. Life is a garden that constantly needs nurturing and attention….when weeds grow, they must be removed. For the trees to reach for the sky they too need water and light. Are we really so different? Man has distanced himself from Nature, when it is Nature from “whence he came.” Maybe this is one of the lessons of Life that God expected us to learn.

Seek the silence,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

This week I moved from the house that I have lived in for the past five years. I always thought that I would have stayed there forever, but one day last Winter I was driving along in my car through a beautiful forested area when lo and behold out of the corner of my eye I saw this beautiful home under construction. I stopped by to take a look, trying humorously to tell myself to go away, but as you see, I couldn’t. Day after day I kept looking for reasons not to be interested in this new house, until eventually I came to the conclusion this wonderful place was right for me.

Moving is painful…..what you come across going through closets and boxes boggles the mind. It almost is like going back in time to see how far you’ve come. Changing jobs, changing homes, changing relationships are never easy steps…..even when you know that the change is for the best. Life is a strange journey…..you never know sometimes when the next turn along the road will occur. The only insight I have learned is to surround yourself with love and the best people possible for you.

As I look through my files, photos, and belongings one thing appears very clear to me…..this newsletter and the people that it touches I hold very dear to my heart. I hope that these essays help you sail through rough waters, as much as you help me through my rough seas.

Bless you all,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

People are always dashing about around the house….everyone taking care of their own things. Eventually, for some miraculous reason, everyone pulls up a chair at the kitchen table, which for many becomes the center of the home. The table not only provides food, but conversations, smiles and a chance to re-connect. We learn to get along with each other at the kitchen table.

The coffee, the tea, the food provide our physical nourishment at our table….but of equal value, hopefully, the instilling of security, strength and encouragement is provided for our minds and souls, to accomplish their work. Taking a seat at the table are the children, the open minds hanging on Mom and Dad’s every word to show them the way. At first the parents lead the table…but over time the children assert their ideas and thoughts to a higher degree. The guidelines of the family are discussed everyday between the lines at the kitchen table. Everybody shares their point of view, whether they say it or not. Actions sometimes do speak louder than words. Silence, too, has meaning.

We’re all supposed to be viewed equally at the kitchen table, but at times it doesn’t turn out that way. We are all members of the family, equally important to its health, but sometimes the best of parents can let that slip by. The rules and regulations of the table differ from family to family, but they are implemented. Everybody eventually knows how it works….including a very important member of the “club”….who too expresses his or her point of view….the family pet! Pets have tremendous power….when our dog, cat or bird has something to say, it is not uncommon for all the conversation at the table to stop instantaneously and give the floor to the pet of choice.

I being a parent am fully aware of the impact of the kitchen table. Whether I feel good or bad, I know I’m still “Mom.” It’s not unusual to hear around the house “Mom said this, Mom said that.” Even to my little dogs…”Mom” is watched. I guess spread across the table each morning is a blank canvas that as the day unfolds each member of our family contributes to the picture. At the end of the day that picture represents us as a family unit. The colors, the shapes and the depth of our canvas contain the ingredients of who we are.

Birthdays, holidays, and celebrations may take place in the diningroom with the best glasses, china and utensils…but hovering close by, watching, is our “trusty” kitchen table…where eventually we all gravitate to finish our conversations. The kitchen table has heard it all….

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each time before the space shuttle is sent into orbit all systems have to be checked and re-checked for any evidence of malfunction. At Mission Control all boards across the control deck must show green. To accomplish this task involves the work of many people of different skills…each one an expert in their own field. Months of preparation go into the schedule of each launch. Each failure is corrected until all has been done for a hopeful success. In our own lives each hope and dream rests on us for flight, to accomplish our launch and mission. We too must plan, contribute and re-check for our space-shuttle to glide among the stars.

To lift off the ground much thrust and power is needed to fuel our rockets. Whatever it is we plan to do for the future, without forward momentum our ship of dreams would come crashing back to the ground. We are our own “mission control.” We pick our team of experts to contribute to the success of our projects. It is up to us to determine who is needed and best qualified to help us succeed at our goals. In many cases we cannot do it alone…it involves teamwork and sometimes expertise from others, but never believe it can’t be done. Man walking on the moon was once considered insanity.

Each week I receive numerous letters from people sharing with me their hopes and dreams for the future. Some are well on their way to accomplishing their missions, others struggle to find their team of experts for their launch. The one thing that both have in common is the belief that they can succeed if just given the chance. Power is a very strange thing….in many cases we think it lies in somebody else’s hands…meeting the right person, having somebody provide the right amount of money…while many times the power to succeed rests within us. And one thing for certain, never underestimate the power of prayer. Prayer can move mountains and fuel many a ship.

Who are the right people for a mission? That’s for us to decide. The boys in the movie “October Sky” started with a little rocket that they built…that failed and failed and failed until one day, from pondering their mistakes, they discovered the right combination to lift their rocket high into the atmosphere. The sky above us awaits our dreams…our missions……Man may not have wings, but that doesn’t mean he can’t fly.

Spread your wings,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

We all take in what surrounds us from the day we are born, and sometimes, what’s good or bad becomes very vague. As human beings we operate basically on two levels…the conscious and subconscious…either one, at any given moment, having full control of how we think, feel and react. Our minds, you could say, are empty wells that are filled with what we put in.

Let me tell you a little story about one of my brothers. From his earliest memory his favorite television shows were Bonanza, and Wagon Train. He lived and breathed “Cowboys and Indians”…so much so that he even named his two goldfish after two of the characters from the television series “Wagon Train.” Everyday between the ages of five and eight years old he always made sure that safely in his room, neat and well-kept, was his cowboy hat and waistcoat. Also, his trusty toy guns had to be nearby to take care of the “bad guys.” His imagination was full of heroes, villains, and women in distress who needed to be protected. After awhile you couldn’t tell whether he believed he was growing up in the late 1950s or on a wagon train or on a ranch in the wild wild west. When he went to school the hot topic of all the boys was what Little Joe did on Bonanza the night before. These boys lived their dreams through their cowboy characters. After the age of eight my brother’s interests turned to super-heroes and “G.I. Joe” (the ultimate soldier who fought for the good of mankind!!) I remember walking into his room around this time seeing him playing with G.I. Joe and looking at me, telling me to remember that there are FAKE G.I. Joe’s out there, and to NEVER buy him one. Batman, Superman, Heroes for Truth, Justice and the “American Way”…how many boys did we see around Halloween running through the streets with capes on, believing that bullets could not kill them, only “kryptonite.” Innocent times? perhaps….but the heroes were different.

As my brother entered his teenage years the Beatles arrived….Beatle wigs, Beatle socks, Beatle gloves, not to mention the music. At first it was hard to understand, were the Beatles musicians or cartoon characters? My brother thought both. Around the same time sports rose to the forefront of his life. Baseball was King…Mickey Mantle was the man many kids looked up to. As he attended high school my brother, too, had to choose which group or clique he fit into. My brother chose the band, and the football team. Today, he regards those days as some of the best times of his life. Before he knew it, school was over and everything became girls girls girls. The hours of time that he once had open to do whatever he chose started shrinking fast. Responsibilities beckoned and before too long he got married and had children. Today when we have conversations about those times he tells me there are many nights that he looks to those days as fuel and inspiration for the future. He asked me once, “Boy, were we ever that innocent?”

There are many children today attending different schools around the world….who are their heroes? What are their dreams? Another group of little sponges….soaking up what surrounds them. Why did my brother like to play Cowboys and Indians? Why did my brother like the Beatles and sports? Because that’s all he saw to fill his void of time. What do the children of today have to choose for their void of time? Even though my brother played with toy guns as a cowboy, he never grew up to have one as an adult. The thought never crossed his mind…maybe because it wasn’t that the cowboy’s had guns, but that they were the heroes, and came to “save the day.” Homes around the world flood their livingrooms with information. Everything from television, radio, and the internet. The substance of that information is what children and adults use today to fill their void. People are working harder, longer hours to have the same luxuries their parents had. It’s not so easy anymore to keep an eye on the kids….but that, we must. Maybe we should all put a little sign up in our livingroom that says “CAUTION…SPONGES HERE.”

Take the time to love,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Life is just one high trapeze….we all go out in the morning, swinging through the air, performing acrobatics and somersaults, jumping from one end to the other, hoping that everything goes according to plan, and Synchronicity prevails. Below us, waiting, is the beloved safety net that we depend upon to catch us when things go wrong.

There are many in the audience who watch us perform on the high-wire. Some cheer us on, others boo, but on we go sailing through the air with confidence that all will go well, and we will never fall….then, out of the blue, a slip of a hand, a twist of a leg, and before too long we are free-falling through the air with ours eyes glued on that safety net, hoping that it has been well-maintained to catch us before we hit the ground. This week, in Littleton, Colorado, the safety net failed.

A group of teenagers, who call themselves “The Trenchcoat Mafia” made the headlines around the world. Two of its members decided to enter their high school with over thirty pipe bombs and multiple weapons to kill as many people as they could, including themselves. How could this happen? This has now been the eighth occurrence of this kind of violence in schools, in the past two years, across the United States. So what can be said of life on the trapeze? When the safety net becomes withered and torn, or simply not put up at all, fatalities can be the only outcome. None of us are perfect, and we all make mistakes, and yes, once in awhile we walk along the wrong road in life or swing the wrong way on the trapeze, but as a society we depend on the safety nets to catch those who are confused and off-balance.

So what can be said for our “trusty” safety net? The fabric of our society? The rope that is supposed to protect us, sometimes even from ourselves? The first section of the net is made up of our families, the second, our schools, the third, our communities, and so on, until each become interconnected…..but beware, one who falls from the trapeze these days better land in the most secure section of the net, because there are many nets out there that are starting to show gaping holes that are growing with time.

Who is to blame… the media? the guns? the internet? That’s just pointing the finger. I believe the answer lies much deeper, under the surface, than we realize. If we put bad things into our bodies, bad things happen. If we put bad thoughts and bad messages into our minds, bad things happen. If all the guns, all the bombs, all the knives, were removed from society in the morning, I do believe those two individuals who found it appropriate to massacre would have just as easily walked through the door with spears and bows and arrows, or something else. They found it very easy to make homemade bombs….all they would have done was transfer their weapons of choice. The mind is the ultimate weapon. Until we deal with this, the tools may change, but the mental machine will seek out new avenues to accomplish its mission. The information that we take in as individuals are seeds that, when fertilized, grow at an alarming rate. It’s that simple. Those individuals in Colorado embraced some of the most evil ideology that we have on this planet. Is it truly any surprise what happened? And how many more out there are waiting for their fifteen minutes of fame?

These days many of us mind our own business, lock our doors, and refuse to get involved. We’re afraid of lawsuits, people being angry at us, neighbors calling us nosy…..hey, who doesn’t want to be liked? Then one afternoon, at one thirty, a newsflash comes across the television, and this time it’s not someone’s else’s school, but our own…. and it’s not their kids, it’s our kids, and our families. I pray over the next few days I start to see members of Congress looking for solutions, not bogging themselves down in political rhetoric. This is truly a “wake-up” call…we can either get out of our beds or go back to sleep.

Check your net,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Maybe…..a very interesting little word. It’s neither here nor there, up or down, left or right…… hanging on the fence, looking around, and waving at everybody. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could live in a world where we didn’t have to make any decisions, no mistakes, and have no one mad at us for standing up for our point of view…..all the world huddled in a little corner, saying “maybe.” There’s only one problem…..we would never really know how each of us truly feels. If all we do is say “maybe” then we have given up the right to complain when something goes wrong.

What do we think, what do we see, what do we feel? Any one of these thoughts, when expressed, take us away from the position of “maybe.” How many times have we all listened to somebody saying things like, “I didn’t hear about that,” “I don’t have time to watch the news,” or “I think voting is a waste of time.” “Maybe” likes us to waste time because we can put off decisions indefinitely. While we put things off until tomorrow, each day, little by little, our “maybe’s” rob us of our own power.

“Maybe” gives us a sense of false security. We think by not stating a point of view will result in everybody liking us…on the contrary. The respect we crave is diminished. When we say “maybe,” over time, piece by piece, we remove our credibility. Time after time “maybe” makes us stand by and watch injustice, abuse, and crimes. “Maybe” eventually takes away our voices and leaves us silent. For if a voice is not used, the vocal chords forget how to make sound. “Maybe” in the end means doing nothing…..”apathy.”

Each day we are all confronted with yes and no…..some yes’s are not always pleasant….some no’s are not always painful. The judgment rests on our own shoulders. Where does that leave “maybe?” Neither no or yes…a decision in limbo.

Embrace your decisions,
Jennifer Avalon
(c) 1999 Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon