This week I would like to break down the 24 hour day period, and how and why it has a profound affect on what we do with the time available. I am not writing this to depress people….but I do believe the more we know, reflect, and understand what we do with our lives, the better we will be able to make the changes necessary to improve our quality of life.
This is how it goes:

1) We start out with the basic 24 hours.
2) Deduct from that 8 hours (if you’re lucky) for sleeping
3) Further deduct an extra eight hours for work (9-5), plus 2 hours travel time.
4) Also deduct 1 hour each morning for shower, breakfast, etc.
5) At the end of the day, deduct 1 hour for dinner and cleaning up.

How many hours of personal time for yourself does that leave you with? 4 hours per day.
What I haven’t factored in here is extra time that is needed for maintaining a relationship, caring for children and/or taking care of pets.
These, to me, are conservative estimates. Some would say 4 hours….. are you kidding? But I’m trying to base this on the average.

6) Add to the 4 personal hours per day of the workweek, which is 5 days, Saturday……let’s give ourselves an extra 4 hours, and Sunday, 4 more to that….which brings us to a grand total for the week of 28 personal hours for the week. That’s a grand total of a little more than 1 day a week for things to do for ourselves.

7) It is up to each individual, where need be, to deduct more time for issues such as housecleaning, paying bills, health concerns, car repairs, etc., etc. Each total for each person is unique.

This is the way it is. I know, I didn’t make it this way either…but if I choose to bury my head in the sand, nothing will ever change. It’s not hard to understand how easily we can get overwhelmed with life. So, for that ballpark figure of 28 hours a week of personal time, what we put into it really matters.

Once we get over the shock, what do we do?? We start writing down everything that makes us happy, on paper. We develop a plan to schedule each thing that we want to do for ourselves into those hours. We control those hours. How many more times do we have to hear how “fast” life goes? Once we look at our lives, there are no mysteries.

Each one of us has to ask ourselves, what do we want from our lives? How can we make a difference? Hey, we can pretend that there is an endless supply of time, but deep inside we know there isn’t. So this weekend, if you haven’t already begun, ask yourself, “What do I want from my life?”… Not just for your children, spouse, or friends……but for you.

Time is precious,

Jennifer Avalon
© 2000 Jennifer Avalon

One of the easiest things to do in life is to give up. Game over….finito!! All of the naysayers can line up, stick their noses in your face, and say “See, I told you so…..it won’t work.” There is value to every project undertaken….it is up to each and every one of us to determine that value, and to estimate the amount of effort that is needed and acceptable to fulfill the goal.

Businesses all across the Internet are redefining planning, manufacturing and distribution. This is having a profound affect on how we make, buy, and sell goods. What was once considered as a necessity of operation can, these days, be easily called into question. Everyday I read in the newspapers a new software or component that is changing the industry of their given choice. I being a writer, you can imagine how all of this has also affected the product that I release. While all these changes are taking place, for each person embracing the new technology, there are others becoming disillusioned and upset. Whether we like to admit it or not, in most cases across the board we are all learning to find new ways to reinvent ourselves…..and the things we do for a living.
While all these changes are taking place, the fine line between work and home is evaporating. The nine to five workday can easily be extended to seven or eight at night. The definition of home and work is changing. As you can imagine, this is leaving many in the family with confusion written on their faces. Where the schedules used to follow an even path, they can now contradict each other and clash. Planning becomes essential to preserve tranquility. If you too are struggling with some of these issues, you’re not alone. Many of the letters I receive are filled with thoughts from people trying to find a balance in their lives. The strain can easily lead to giving up.

The family is a unit of people living together within a shield of love. Some are healthier than others….but each family must decide that within their confines they set the rules. Set aside at least one hour a week to sit around the table where everyone has a say in how the structure of family life is sustained and managed. All voices are heard. One member writes down the schedule, while everybody is aware that it is placed somewhere in the home where each morning all members can see it. This way we all know what’s happening that day with everyone. We can share in the joy and be there for the pain. No one feels like giving up.

For those without a family, you too can sit at the table….and if you have a pet, invite them to sit too!!! Plan your week….acknowledge the joy….and your successes. Look for ways to heal. Life never turns out totally the way we want it to…but perhaps with a little better observation we can regain some of the control that we have given away. In the end, we realize that it is those times we didn’t give up, that gave us the greatest rewards.

Don’t give up,

Jennifer Avalon
© 2000 Jennifer Avalon

What’s Bad has become Good, and what’s Good has become Bad. This week I think I’ve seen enough…..Monica Lewinsky talking for an hour on Larry King Live, stating how “hard” it is for her to be a public figure, and a representative of Jenny Craig. Yes, indeed, Monica’s perfectly entitled to go on with her life, but I don’t want any teenager to believe that this is the way to “get ahead” in life. I have friends on both sides…..conservative and liberal…..but both have drawn a line somewhere through this mess. Does it stop there? No. Each day there is something else to see on television or read in the paper….some injustice or catastrophe that is slid under the carpet and passed along as “life as usual.” The bar has been raised so high that a giant could get underneath it! We look around and we wonder why things spiritually are falling apart? The shock factor on television has become nil. I receive letters from many people who have lost faith in not only their politicians, but the law. This is frightening.

Does all this matter? I’m afraid so. It affects each and every one of us, whether we care to admit it or not. Out there tonight someone is trying to raise a family…dealing with issues that their forebearers could not even comprehend. You want to know how bad it is? Ask yourself this….if your great-grandparents were alive today, could they browse through the daily newspaper without the blood draining from their faces? Enough already!!! The saddest thing of all are the people who think that all of this is okay!
How do we change this? It starts from ground zero. Seek out the people in your community, in your neighborhood, who are contributing and trying to pull things up by the bootstraps…..look for the people who sweat. They’re around….in every community…..they just haven’t been highlighted on the evening news. But they are there….believe me. They too have seen enough. If you have a family, embrace it….cuddle it…comfort it…love it. You can never give too much to the people you love. To the Mothers and the Fathers of the world…..my heart goes out to you. I wish you all the blessings of the Lord, and the luck of all the Leprechauns (smile) To the brothers and sisters…..embrace your siblings….be there with a kind smile and a strong voice. A word can have a tremendous echo.

For the Year 2000 let’s look at it as the Starting Point of a Rebuilding of a Society, that has forgotten much and lost its mind. Technology can be a wonderful tool to build a great house.

Be a Builder,

Jennifer Avalon
© 2000 Jennifer Avalon

Everything reverts to numbers…..shapes, sizes, circles and squares…hey, you even have to have the right numbers to win the lottery! Well, also included in this, I’m afraid, is that as the population of the planet increases, so do the value of its numbers decrease. Is the value of family, work, and play worth more today than say ten years ago? Perhaps not.

We all have alot to pack into twenty-four fours a day….some are more successful then others, but boy, I don’t know about you, but for me at the end of each day I still wish I had another two or three hours of extra time. After awhile its easy to feel like a machine punching a time clock, asking yourself, “What’s it all about?” The search for meaning in life, for many, comes up empty, until one day a person decides that it’s time to embark upon a journey to find what this place called earth is all about….and why we are here. As a collective human family, the answers can come easily…but the individual stories….ah…..therein lies the search that many at some point in their lives find themselves on. That’s when we realize we are more than just a number……a sea of faces, where each one has its own story that cries to be heard.

I found, for myself, that I could only go so far until I had to seek out the meaning for my life. Finding inner value became a necessity. I refused to believe that my happiness could only be based upon material things, which I found very temporary, until one day I sat down in a chair, looked up, and said “Please God, help me find the answers.” Not until that moment did I feel myself connected with my spiritual essence. I’ve always looked upon myself as a realist….not somebody who just believes for the sake of believing. I search for evidence. Today as I look around this world I have to believe that there is a reason for everything. I wasn’t born to go to school, find a job, make money, retire, and drop dead. Somewhere in-between all of this is Life. We all have a Life…..a story to pass along.

This globe that we live on spirals through space in a synchronized order with our solar system….mathematics in play, numbers all working together to maintain some kind of order….as one thing swings out, eventually it swings back….the pendulum of Time and Space. Each second has its value, and so does each Life.

Numbers have meaning,

Jennifer Avalon
© 2000 Jennifer Avalon

This is the time of the year where we start looking forward to the Holidays and the dawning of a New Year. My my does the time fly fast! It just seems like yesterday it was September….time moves whether we like it or not. How it is spent eventually lays in our hands.

Sometimes the only way to move forward is to look back…what mistakes have we made? What have we learned? How do we make the value of our days improve? The question that always seems to linger over us at the end of each year is “How much control of my life did I give away?” Many times we assume that someone else knows better….when in reality who knows us better than ourselves? I’m a big believer in the power of prayer, but the power goes two ways….for me, God is there to guide me….but it is up to me to initiate the guidance. I do take responsibility for my life….otherwise, all I will do is to continually blame other people….at some point it stops.

At the start of every year, I always ask myself, “How can I improve the newsletter, the website, and the music that I write?” I, like many, eventually initiate about half of what I’ve wanted to accomplish. It’s very easy to run out of time! Planning each year becomes more and more important. I find myself writing down more in my calendar than ever. Sometimes there is so much scribbled there I can barely read it! What drives me forward? Knowing in my heart I’ve tried to make a difference. For me, the vehicles are the essays, and the music. Some order the CD’s…some implement the content of my essays into their lives…and others do neither. That’s just the way it is. The newsletter reaches sixty-five countries around the world. That’s a lot of ground to cover….a lot of different viewpoints…but that’s what makes the newsletter special to me. These are the things that I review…just to let you know a little bit more about me.

Time is special….Time is precious. Develop your plans for the New Year….put one step forward and movement can be accomplished. To get from point A to point B, it involves simple movement. When I was in school I used to have a fear of doing somersaults, until one day I did it! To this day I cannot believe how fearful I was to tumble. The same applies to each chore we tackle in life.
May your New Year be enlightening, productive, and wondrous, and may you find the tools that you need to build your dreams? May happiness be your friend in 2000.

Happy Holidays,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

In a couple of weeks from now we turn the New Year 2000. I know nothing’s going to happen, all will be as it is….or will it? Does anybody really believe that chaos will reign as we chime in the New Year? Are all our computers prepared? Are all the countries of the world prepared? To many of us, it’s all doom and gloom….but I’ve noticed over the past month some strange things are starting to occur….

Here in New York on New Year’s Eve at least one airplane terminal will be closed for lack of flights…in other words, nobody wants to be in the air when the clock ticks twelve. New York is well known for its New Year’s Eve Extravaganzas, but many celebrations have been canceled for lack of ticket sales. Times Square, I’m sure, will be full….but all New York City police officers have been put on notice that none of them are allowed the last week of the year to take any time off. Is it me? Or do you find that many people seem to, this year, want to get the Holidays over with fast? As we approach Y2K the thought of writing 2000 next to the date seems a little strange, when all of our lives the number 19- felt very comfortable.

I personally don’t believe the world will end, but I do indeed think that the year 2000 is presenting itself as a New Beginning…..hopefully, we can leave behind many of the things that have hurt us individually and as a society. The subconscious is a strange thing….while we deny things on the surface, lurking below can easily be a contradiction. Perhaps inside we ask ourselves, “How would we face chaos?”, even if it doesn’t happen.

Recently I went shopping at my local supermarket. I was looking around the aisles for some instant mashed potatoes….there were none to be found, so I approached the store manager and asked him where I could find my “instant potatoes?” He told me “They were here.” I asked him who “they” were, and he told me, “The Y2K’ers”….they bought up everything in the store that they could simply add water to.” Well, the Y2K’ers, for now, own all of our local store’s instant food.

Each night on the evening news a clock is displayed, ticking down the remaining days to the New Year. The fear, for many, grows. Can it be that we only truly value Life when we are faced with it’s possible demise? In a world that is primarily run on Fear, Greed and Lust, not on Intelligence, a little self-examination is not so bad. Come January 3, 2000, if we all head back to work on that Monday morning, many of us may have a strange look on our faces…realizing not only that the world did not end, but that we are faced with a New Beginning. I believe the world is not a theatrical stage…. that certain events may not happen “on cue”….not to say that they won’t happen….just not when we expect them to.

Enjoy the Holidays….embrace those you love, try to be a better person. If we practice these things, each year the world will become a better place for it. Time doesn’t have to be our enemy….it can be our friend…..

Happy New Year,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

At some point, the “Genie is out of the bottle.” We all know what we need….it’s no mystery. We can plan, train, take courses, but at some point we must take one step forward each day on the road to fulfillment. Mankind, in many cases, is his own or her own worst enemy. In the blink of an eye a person can go from feeling totally fulfilled to being lost. Many times we so easily gravitate to the meaningless and things that are bad for us….while ignoring the keys that unlock the doors of our hearts. Why do things look so complicated, when the answers are always quite simple?

This time of the year we scour the stores, searching for the perfect gift to express how we feel about a loved one…hoping that out there is that one object that can best describe how much we care about someone. This week I watched a two block line of people lining up to purchase their piece of the Pokeman Phenomenon…believing that without it Christmas just would not be the same, while their children gazed on in amazement. Can material things really express our true feelings? Is a diamond really a girl’s best friend? All of these items are temporary. How many of us on a Christmas morning have watched a child play with a toy for fifteen minutes, then disregard it and move on to the next? Yes, we do need to purchase gifts, but we have to be careful not to get too carried away. For some of us, it’s easier to try to buy presents that we think express Love, then to just plain say it.

So how do we help ourselves? Why are we so preoccupied with the temporary? Our needs for inner peace and long-term happiness seem, in many cases, put on the back-burner. Do we really believe that the new car will change our lives? Perhaps what we’re really doing is continuing the process of searching for the answers in the wrong places. Come January, we look back on the holiday season with a stream of bills, wondering where all the money went? Most of it spent on the temporary, with tomorrow never an option. We are left with the age-old dilemma….do we buy for our bodies, or for our souls?

So this holiday season, let’s try to give a gift that lasts more than one day…perhaps a meaningful book, an educational game, or something that inspires the imagination….or a memorable dinner spent with a close friend? One last thing that should always be on our minds is visiting a nursing home or an orphanage where there are many in need of a kind smile or someone to dry a tear. You will not only be helping others, you will be helping yourself.

Simple Gifts,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Whether we like it or not, value is assigned to the space we occupy….in other words, who we are. Who assigns this value? Well, to God, we are all His children, but the value that is assigned is first set by our parents, and then society. Eventually, this spills over into the mental picture we hold of ourselves as individuals. I could say, who cares? But these values can greatly affect not only the course you take in life, but also the perception that people have of you.

Imagine to yourself that you are standing in the center of a circle. Draw a line around that circle. The center point is who you are. What enters and leaves the circle is your interaction with society….be it friends, family, coworkers, or just plain strangers. As the saying goes, “No man or woman is an island unto themselves.” Yes, it is important to have a positive image of oneself, but we must also take into account if that image differs from the people we interact with. Why? Because of a little thing called “The Ego.” The ego can distort our perceptions very easily, and before too long, what we think we are, is not what we are. So, the atmosphere within the circle can greatly affect our lives.

On a scale of zero to one hundred is how we perceive our lives to be. If a person falls within the first 10%, that person feels that their life is meaningless…”they can be done without.” As the percentages increase, the perception of the value of one’s life also increases until we reach one hundred percent….where that person’s concept of themselves is that “I am the greatest, and the world would revolves around me.” Both ends of the scale are dangerous. At school, we were taught that the best score is 100……in Life, I believe the best score falls around 50 or 60. Why? Because at a score of around 50 a person can see their value in the world and realize there is always room for improvement…..also, that other people’s value matters.

50% is the center…..the Balance of Life. Some days we can score a 40, other days, a 70…but the aim we must strive for is the magical 50, where all things look clear, logical, and make sense. I believe within that number 50 are the words “Peace, Fulfillment, Tranquility, Humility, and Purpose.” These are the real goals of Life. A person may have all the riches the world can offer, but unless, on the Test of Life he or she maintains close to a 50, there is no balance.

May you find your balance,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Whether we know it or not, each day we form or contribute to patterns, be it food, spending, exercise, prayer, etc. The patterns start to become a part of the fabric of who we are. We may feel that we have no control over these repetitious behaviors, but with alot of work, they can be changed, and a life on automatic pilot can be altered, once one decides to turn the switch off and take the controls.

Habits are all around us….inside ourselves, in our friends, in our families. We all form habits individually and collectively. Sometimes the circle must be broken, to take a look and take a bold new course in the direction of our lives. Otherwise, we just go around and around, and before too long the circle creates its own force and traps us. Is it any wonder that we live on a planet spiraling through space, protected by its own gravitational force….so, too, do we develop our own force.

One of the most important aspects of life is awareness. If the blinders go on, we trot along a path, oblivious to what is going on around us. Sedation becomes the norm, and as we know, time does march on, whether we are awake or asleep. What’s sad, I must say, is that in many cases we don’t totally appreciate what life is, and how precious it can be, until it is threatened by an illness, or an accident….then, all of a sudden, we “get it.” The pattern instantaneously is broken. But does it have to get to that drastic step before we can break the circles that are harmful to us?

One of the best ways to see the patterns that you have developed in your life is to remove yourself from familiar surroundings for a short period of time…..take a vacation, or take a drive … visit someone out of town. But most of all, get away for awhile. As you come home, you start to see things as they really are. The different surroundings that you’ve allowed to flow through your mind, blow away the cobwebs and allow a fresh perspective to enfold you … then we can permit ourselves to see who we are, and what we want to be. A birds-eye view of our lives is sometimes all that is needed to see the three dimensions of our lives…the past, the present, and the future.

Seeing is believing,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Nearby where I live is the local deli. In my neighborhood, the owner’s name is Phil. Each week, Phil dispenses to the neighborhood many lottery tickets…little pieces of dreams for those who choose to partake. I know, I know….the odds of winning the lottery are something like being hit by lightening in the same place twice!! I myself have been known however to put my toe in the water a few times to see if Ladyluck will shine on me that week. It’s all in fun really, I guess.

Phil recently shared a story with me that I would like to pass along to you. Every six months Phil attends a regional seminar where the lottery introduces their upcoming new games that they plan to put on sale. Phil joins many other lottery agents in the festivities, to meet former lottery winners whose prize money ranges anywhere between five to forty-million dollars. He told me “Jennifer, you have to see some of these people who have become multimillionaires. The ones that have won less than ten million dollars seem to have a pretty good handle on their lives. But boy, once you start hitting fifteen to twenty-million dollar lottery winners, they start coming unglued! Can you imagine what it feels like to see a man who, two years ago, won twenty-five million dollars, speak into the microphone and tell us all that he thinks the CIA watch him day and night, or, another “lucky” winner who lectured with strange beads around his neck, that he has found a truly, one-of-a-kind, unique way to God. What was that unique way, you ask? It involves ridding yourself of your clothing in public places, and painting your body green!!”

Each time Phil attends one of these seminars he tells me it is truly a revelation to see how people eventually handle their winnings. One man who won twenty-three million dollars decided that he would tell no one that he won. So then, he went out and bought himself a top-of-the-line, custom-made Mercedes Benz, and parked it in the driveway of his middle-class home. The neighbors at first did a double-take…but finally it was decided by the neighbors that he must have become a drug-dealer! Because it was the only way that he could have been able to afford such a car. Eventually our quiet millionaire had to leave his neighborhood to drive his car!!

There are a thousand stories like these….perhaps you know some yourself. But isn’t it amazing what a large sum of money can do to someone unprepared. So how much do you need to be happy? One million, two million, or perhaps ten? Think about it, but try to keep the number as low as possible, because with each succeeding million, it brings more and more responsibility and pressures. I guess after awhile you start to ask yourself, how much can you really spend in one lifetime? Phil reminded me that the hardest time for a multimillionaire lottery winner is the second year. Why, you ask? Because once you’ve bought the new home, the new cars, the trip around the world…you eventually arrive back home, looking at the walls, and wondering what’s next……

Be prepared,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon