Too many of us change is a very frightening thought. Change can be exciting, and the acceptance, in some cases, of the unknown. Change represents the future….a direction at a given moment of where we are heading. The concept of what once was is evolving into something else.

There is great comfort in memories. Images that we can conjure up at any given moment to remember the good times, and images of how we want to see ourselves and the world. They may not be realistic sometimes, but we wrap ourselves around them as some form of protective blanket that shields us from the cold of the unknown. There is only one problem with this….at one point our memories were in the present…we lived them, and they became the past. Don’t get me wrong, there is something wonderful to be said about holding onto wonderful memories….but it’s important that we use them as springboards that can vault us ahead into the direction we choose to go….but if all we do is hold onto the memories, we in some way, stop growing, and our library of memories is no longer being contributed to with fresh input.

Time puts change right in front of our faces everyday. Time brings us on a collision course with what was, what is, and what will be…..that is what becomes the basis of the problem. We either have to take control of our lives, or we become victims of the life that is taking place around us. In other words, you either generate the change, or the change generates you. Even when we choose not to make changes, things around us are changing…and they can have a direct affect on us anyway. As I write this, I am focusing on my thoughts, while at the same time, I can hear the cardboard boxes I put out last night being picked up for recycling by the sanitation men, the clock is ticking telling me that it is getting closer for me to go to the post office and mail off some letters, the clouds look to be gathering for an early afternoon storm. The point I am trying to make is, while you’re focusing on one thing, other occurrences are happening around you that can just as greatly affect your life.

Many people who write to me talk about their fears, hopes and dreams. In some cases, they feel powerless over what is happening in their lives. I know bad things happen to good people, and that one day all of us pass on to the next world, but a good percentage of your life and how you react and receive it, is in your hands. You are the captain of the ship…the engineer of the train…you have power over your own life. Yes there were some wonderful times, but don’t be afraid to create new ones. This life of ours is an adventure….I think it was meant to be that way….an ever evolving story that I believe, never really ever ends….part of the “Book of Life”. We all contribute to that book in one way or another.

I used to fear change very much. I looked on change as a very scary occurrence…then one day, I realized it will happen with or without my approval. I decided if there was to be change, I wanted some say in the matter. Now I look upon change as a way for me to correct my mistakes, and hopefully, evolve into a better person. I took control, and with some help from above, my ship these days is sailing a lot better. I found that when I made peace with my fears, change became a friend.

Sail on,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Over the next few days a story is about to be played out that could have incredible ramifications for the people here in my country, the United States of America. These types of things have come and gone in many countries around the world…..some proven false, some not. Within the past twenty four hours numerous television stations and newspapers have one story on the table. The Pope visited Cuba for the first time….an historical occasion, yet, it was reduced to sound bites because of the evolving problems at the White House. These are not happy days for Americans, nor should they be….no matter which “side” you’re on.

The questioning has begun. No matter what happens, over the next few months America is beginning a process of looking inward. At this point in history the questions that need answers now are Who are we? What have we become? and Where are we going? I have met some wonderful people during the past year who are out there doing incredible things in their own way to make their lives and others better. I have also met some people who appear to be spiritually bankrupt…no hope, no love, and on the verge of giving up. That, I can say, is heart-breaking.

Nobody’s perfect, we all make mistakes. What’s important is that once we find the damage we repair it and try the best we can to continue on. Some things are wrong, and some things are right. Deep down inside we all know the difference. We all may have different points of view but how healthy can we stay and maintain a quality of life if we embrace what’s wrong, and allow it to guide us? I have met people with drug-dependency and they have told me one of the hardest things they had to come to terms with was admitting that what they were doing was a problem and how it was affecting their lives and their families.

Through our lives we learn to deal with anger and pain in our own way. Some use addictions, but one way or another the anger and pain will raise its head. Many of us chase peace of mind and look in all directions to try to find it. We search for the tools that are needed to help us build a life of bliss. It is not an easy journey. Our leaders are not perfect either, but we do look to them for guidance. If the guidance deteriorates then we become a ship without a wheel. I, like many, look to God for guidance…but we do need leadership also from our elected officials.

In the end, we are human beings. Some build, some destroy…..and then in the middle are many who have choices to make.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Each one of us are in some way a work in progress. A living being and spirit that is constantly evolving into the future. Even if we don’t want it to, time hurls us forward giving us the option to progress with it or stagnate. In everything we do many of us try to heal the mistakes of the past and set a list of goals that we believe can make our lives better. We reach out for help in many different directions…..some ask advice of friends, others look to the Heavens to ask God for guidance. We are a canvas that is constantly being added to, that is never quite finished until our death….and even then, we go on. None of us have all the answers, and that is the beauty of life, that we continue to discover things we don’t know that can lead us to becoming better people.

We are all painters, adding and subtracting to this canvas we call Life. Sometimes others walk into our room and say to us, “How about a little blue and green in that corner?” You see, none of us are separated from the rest. We are a group of people in individual rooms painting away everyday with connecting doors under one roof. The time we spend at our canvas differs with each person. But as we go through our connecting doors and see how others are progressing it is sad to see some people’s canvas surrounded by cobwebs, having long ago stopped painting, while others are vibrant and full of life.

I think God wants us all to become great painters in this school of life. We all need help and guidance along the way but it is within our power to create a masterpiece. All many people need is a little encouragement and a little belief that it can happen, it can be accomplished, while all around us we are told it can’t be done. It can. It’s okay to give a little advice yourself once in awhile. You may see somebody making a mistake that you yourself made last week, and you found the correction. Don’t be afraid to share it….say it with kindness…nobody wants to be criticized.

It’s important that through all this work in progress we enjoy our successes and be compassionate through our failures. If we really look at the canvas it will tell us what is needed….the canvas is you and me. With each stroke of paint we try to evolve to the next level of living. Yes, Life in some way to many of us is an incredible experiment in finding healing and
solutions to the questions that haunt us. There are answers and they can come from many directions.

A painter lives in each one of us. Some may not like how you paint, but it still can be beautiful. The school of life can never have enough painters. There is always room for another masterpiece.

Paint on,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

There are many people who feel because of bad experiences that schooling is some form of punishment, that you go through the experience year after year and lo and behold, one day you graduate and hallelujah! You’re free! The real scenario here is that once you graduate from school the “true” education begins. I believe the purpose of educational institutions is to teach you the fundamentals of learning that help your mind process information and, hopefully, set you on the road to being a better citizen. I know some schools are better than others….no, it is not fair…..but many have risen to the challenges placed before them and triumphed. I accept the fact that in life there may not be an even playing field but with conviction, faith and a little help anything is possible.

The real challenge begins once you leave school. So many fall into the trap of looking at the graduation from their schools as an end to the process of learning. I don’t know why, but many look at learning as some form of punishment….it is not. In reality, learning is not supposed to stop until the day you die. You don’t need a continued collection of degrees to carry on the process. Each year we live we’re supposed to evolve into betterpeople…learning more, and implementing what we learn into our lives tobecome compassionate and caring people who can support themselves and their families. Yes I know bad things happen to good people, but I try to look at it as a learning experience. I believe you can learn your way out of a bad situation. You can look at it, see where things went wrong, and implement the changes needed to correct the mistakes.

As we go through life it’s important that we don’t lose sight of the big picture. I believe there is a very valid reason for each of us being here. I think it’s part of God’s plan that we as souls learn and evolve and create a better spiritual environment for ourselves and for others. Without the continued progression of forward motion everything would stagnate and stagnation causes decay. I know there are many people out there who feel depressed and every day wonder why they’re even here at all. Please don’t go down that road. You do matter. You can turn things around. You are valuable.

So each Sunday night before you start the work week think to yourself “What can I do, what can I learn, so that by Friday I have evolved into a person who knows more than they did at the start of the week”. Don’t be afraid to take on challenges…read that book that caught your eye, take a course in improving your computer skills…it’s okay one night to sit down with the family and watch something educational…you may find you all have more in common than you thought. The point is, the benefits are out there…don’t be afraid to reach out and grab them. If you need a source of inspiration and kindness don’t be afraid to share your thoughts with a friend, or pray to God. Those who love us, listen.

Best of luck with your endeavors,

Jennifer Avalon
(c) 1998 Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Picture yourself in the middle of a field….behind you is your past, in front of you is your future. As you look behind you see a number of different objects that represent a collection of where you have been and what you have done with your life. As you gaze ahead you see, standing before you, large objects made of stone. In your hands are a chisel and a hammer. What you do with these tools is your decision, but whatever you do, it is a decision.

The rocks or stones are of all different shapes and sizes…no two are the same, but to proceed in your life you must in some way leave your impressions on these stones. Some are easy to sculpt, others extremely difficult, but one by one each must be left with a sign that you have been there. I guess we could call this field of stones the “Field of Life”. Some of us are just entering the field, as children…..others are in the middle, and some are preparing to leave. If up until now the sculpturing and carvings that you have left on the rocks behind you are not what you consider a good representation of who you are, there are always the stones ahead. Some runners in a race lag behind….until the final stretch. Then all of a sudden they get a burst of energy. What I mean is, it’s not too late to turn it around, if in the past things didn’t seem to go according to plan.

Stones are very strange objects. You can chip away all day and at first it looks like nothing is taking place…but slowly images do start to appear. It takes work…sometimes hard work, to sculpt the future. It’s not always easy in this field called Life, but it’s important that we come to terms with it and see that there is a bigger picture. As we approach each rock some, no matter how we try, don’t succumb to our energy or our thoughts….that’s okay…nobody’s perfect….but you can always say you gave it your best shot.

At the end of the field is a fence, and at the end of our lives we climb over that fence, and I believe, waiting on the other side, is God, and our deceased family and friends. Slowly we turn and together with God we look back and see our life’s sculptures….they represent who we were and what we did. It may be hard for us to see the “failures”, but I have a feeling each one of us will hear lines like “Don’t be sad, you did your best”. If you fail along the way, if you can say, “I did my best”, it does matter. What we all want to see, I think, is a field of many beautiful sculptures…sculptures of Love, Hope, and Humankindness.

Each one of us are artists. We may not be painters, but we do, in our own way, paint our futures. The creativity that we need is within us. As we start this New Year, the stones await our vision.

Follow your Heart,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

This week we look forward to the start of a new year, untouched, like a slate that is unmarked and clean, just waiting for us to paint our thoughts and impressions onto it. Many of us will start to compile a list of New Year resolutions….setting goals for 2004. For a lot of us, by the end of January many of those goals start to unravel, and we become discouraged, wondering why we should continue on the course that looked so bright at the beginning.

I think if we approach the New Year with a different perspective and keep a symbol or image in our minds it may be easier to stay focused and navigate the road ahead. I approach the New Year as a builder, a person who sees a piece of land, and the possibilities that can come forth. I look at the formulation of my goals, hopes, and dreams as a house….a beautiful shining building that by the end of the year I can be proud of. A builder needs tools, not just hammers and nails but Faith, encouragement, conviction and the belief that when you put your mind to it, anything is possible.

In January we start the foundation….we make sure it is strong and has the potential to hold what we place upon it. We make sure there are no cracks. Each proceeding month we add to our house….floor by floor we put in the plumbing, the electrical wiring, the heating system, etc. Sometimes we make mistakes, one room may not be wired right, so we go back, repair the damage and continue on. By the Spring, we see that our house is off the ground and rising. The contributions we have made to our house are beginning to show. People pass by and are amazed how “fast” the house is starting to come together….but little do they see the problems that we encountered to get to our level. So on we go, each day building brick by brick with the sky above us…..and with each brick a feeling of accomplishment comes over us and a better understanding of the mistakes we have made so that we try not to make them again. God looks down and sees a person trying to push forward with a house of meaning and purpose. A badly built house with a weak foundation won’t stand very long….but a good house can last forever. God understands how hard it is to built good houses.

By the Fall, our floors are completed, and we are about to add our roof. We want a roof that will not leak, that can take the elements. If we have done all our work and done it well, by the end of the year we will be standing in front of a house amazed that we were able to accomplish this once monumental task. We look at each brick and floor and see a story. We see the set-backs and the over comings. It is possible to build a good house, God willing, with the right tools, and determination…….All things are
possible.

Good Luck with your house,

Love,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Recently I was stopped at a red light and to my right was a bus-stop with about five or six people waiting in line. All different kinds of people, one man drinking a cup of coffee, an elderly lady looking through her tote-bag….and three teenagers heading off to school. All around them was the bustle of people making their way to their destinations in the morning hours, nothing that probably is not done in most places around the world.

How we look at people is very important. We all have our good days and bad ones…and we all make mistakes. Have you ever noticed when you’re in a group of people who are strangers, the barriers go up….then, all of a sudden, somebody says something that breaks the ice. It could be a casual line, a chuckle, or a gesture, but that breaking of the ice sets off a sigh of relief within the group….a feeling of “It’s okay, I’m safe here”.

We see ourselves as a society of separate people, but deep down many of us have the same fears and hopes. In most cases how we see an individual is up to us. It’s almost as if we have to re-train ourselves into seeing more of the good in people than the bad, not the other way around. How we look at the world has a profound influence on our behavior and moods for any given day. If we accent the positive aspects of people, like everything else, it has a ripple effect. It’s just as easy to see the good as it is to see the bad.

In times of major catastrophes or disasters the differences between the people going through the calamity are abandoned. We all become one group fighting the problem. About twenty years ago New York City had a major black-out. I remember that night being in the city with friends when all of a sudden all of the power went out. Now New York City is looked upon as a scary place at night, especially with no power! Well what happened I will never forget. All of a sudden almost out of nowhere people started rising to the occasion…mostly everybody pitched in to help in any way they could….yes there were a few who looked upon it as an opportunity to loot stores, but for the most part all different kinds of people contributed to the elevation of humanity that night. It was a sight to see people directing traffic with flashlights, the young helping the elderly, etc. The next morning the power came back on, and people returned to “normal”. Once in awhile I meet people who mention the night of the black-out….we all laugh, remembering how we all pitched in, in our own way, to do things we had never done that night, and in some cases, haven’t done since.

There is tremendous good in people. Allow yourself to see it. Don’t be afraid to contribute….it does matter what you think, what you feel, and what you see in people. It shouldn’t have to take a catastrophe for us to see how good we can be….

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

Every one of us is blessed in one way or another. Some people areathletic, some people are good at mathematics, and some people arecreative,etc. The power we have over our lives is, in most cases, determined by us. The choices, the directions, and the thoughts are mainly of our choosing. Have you ever sat alone and said to yourself “Who am I and what on earth is it that I am here to do?” Well, from the letters I receive many have…..myself included.

The mysteries of life are quite amazing….you can’t help but feel sometimes like a sailor lost at sea….not quite knowing which way is land. Some choose to remain forever lost at sea, and some take it upon themselves to not give up and chart their own course. Still others look above and pray for guidance. I believe we are all on little boats sailing around, trying to find our way home. Some call it “peace of mind”, “contentment”, “personal satisfaction” or a “sense of accomplishment” but many of us search for that part of ourselves where we can find true meaning and balance.

We search for the place where the answers are…..where we can see what makes each one of us unique. What helps guide us there are lines like “I can do that”, or “This comes very naturally to me”. When we like what we do, we tend to do it well….it’s not a coincidence. It’s a journey, this life of ours, and like all journeys it has hills and valleys….very little even road. On this journey don’t be swayed by the valleys…we all have to go through them. How we travel along this road is a choice….do we walk? Bicycle ride? Or take the car? Then it falls to what kind of bike, what kind of car, etc. What’s important is that we choose a mode of transporation that we feel comfortable with, because some days are sunny, and some days are stormy. Our unique gifts and talents become vital to the continuation of the journey. If you’ve found that place of your uniqueness, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, don’t give up searching…..it exists.

There is a tremendous need right now in this world for what each one of us can contribute in a positive way. Our talents and gifts are the means for us to accomplish our mission here and leave this world a better place. No contribution is too little. In the end, God has put us here for a purpose, and it matters that we are here.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

We are approaching the last month of the year….a time when many gifts will be passed back and forth. Endless hours are spent searching for the perfect gift for that someone who in many cases seems to have everything. We seem to lose track whether it’s the thought that counts, or the value of the gift to the person. At certain times of the year, we all struggle to find ways to say “I love you”. Some need to express it in the form of material things, others find a phone call, a hand-written letter, or a hug their way to say how they feel. There are many ways of expressing Love. It doesn’t always have to be a gift.

It doesn’t even have to be somebody you know. It can include donating money to a worthwhile charity, or volunteering your time at a homeless shelter, or something of that nature. What’s important is that at the end of the day, there has been an exchange of Love in one form or another. As we enter the Holiday Season it’s important that we don’t lose track of what all the giving is all about. One way or another it’s supposed to be some form of Love. It doesn’t really matter the size, or value of the gift, but that it was given with an open heart. In my faith, the true value of Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ and what He stood for. To me, He wasthe Prince of Peace, and Defender of Love.

There is no guarantee that any of us will be here this time next year…..maybe we should think about this when we approach the Holidays. What’s really important…what you give Johnny for Christmas or what you conveyed to him throughout the year? It can’t all be shown in one gift on one day….maybe that’s why many of us find this time of year so frustrating. We’re all caught up in the game of “catch-up”.

Take the Time To Love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon

There are many people out there, I myself included, who have a hard time allowing good personal feelings to accumulate inside over a prolonged period of time. I don’t know where it’s written, but for some reason, many of us have a very hard time feeling good about ourselves. It’s almost as if we’re doing something wrong. There seems to be a little voice inside giving us advice like “Who do you think you are feeling this way?”, “Don’t let yourself feel this good, you’ll only get hurt”, or “You must think you’re special”. Well, I don’t quite know why many of us do this to ourselves, but how many of us have been stopped moving forward to do a lot of good because of these so-called one-liners?

I myself, being a Christian, do not believe that God wants us to live an existence of excruciating pain here on planet earth. God wants us to enjoy life…to find our higher self and rejoice in it. It’s not about self-centeredness…it’s about giving and caring for others, as well as ourselves. The body, mind and soul need nourishment and at times, joy. Not allowing yourself to experience happiness diminishes your opinion of the value you have in this world. Each one of us is important and has so much to give. Evil itself goes to great lengths to beat up on us…we don’t have to continue the process.

I’m not a big believer in the idea that to be a true Christian you must suffer. Even keeping a positive outlook many of us suffer enough. For me, to give in itself has tremendous joy. To not accept this joy is to diminish the giving. To give is to receive and to receive is to give….. it is all-connected.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1997 Jennifer Avalon