The way we view our lives always seems to be based on how we see the glass… half-full or half-empty… what we have, and what we don’t. Many of us spend the better part of our days chasing that which is beyond our reach, without reflecting on what has been accomplished.

When we see the glass half-empty, our insecurities, sense of purpose and contributions seem meaningless. Depression sets in and before too long we become motionless on the sea of life. We don’t like our homes, friends, families and most of all, ourselves. Some even capitalize on our shortcomings. It’s very interesting….when we look at our lives from a negative perspective, before you know it, standing right next to you is someone who adds their two cents. On the other hand, when we see the glass half-full, our sense of accomplishment becomes clearer, and the energy and confidence that is needed to thrust us forward is provided. Our hearts become open to lend a hand to those in need. The choice of how we see the glass is up to us.

Choices are never easy, and sometimes downright painful. Standing in the middle of a field, you see two fences on opposite sides. One is higher than the other, and that one falls under the glass half-full. To succeed in life requires energy, effort and faith. To climb over the higher fence may not be easy, but it can be done, and before too long that glass will become fuller and fuller until one day it overflows. The easy way out is to tackle the lower fence. No effort is required, and chances never need to be taken. But the problem with this fence is that before you know it, the glass runs dry. Watching from the sidelines are the fans…some cheering you on, some calling you a bum. Inside all of us is the strength to block out the negative voices and rise to the cheers.

The best glass of all is the one with the clear water that you can see right through….pure, calm, from which good things spring forth. Pollution has been removed from this glass. For this glass to exist, much work was performed. The task was not always easy…but there it is for all to see that it can be done, preserved and maintained. The well of life runs through all of us, and the purity of the water affects all. As with the glass, we are also responsible for the upkeep of the well. The purer the water, the stronger the well.

May your glass be full,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

This week I would like to push the envelope a little further in some thoughts about what I call the “Great Divide, ” the area where this world and the next intertwine.

Is it possible for an open communication line to develop between us and our deceased loved ones and friends? I’m not talking about hocus-pocus, seances, etc., but a personal exchange. How much can we hear if we cover our ears? How much can we see if we shade our eyes? As humans, everyday we transmit and receive thoughts to each other in all different forms of communication. Is it possible for the same skills to be raised to the next level? Energy does not die, so in theory and Faith, do we ever really die? Almost all of our major religions are based on communicating with deceased Great Ones. Each week around the world millions pray to Jesus, Mohammed, Buddha, and God. Do these people believe that their prayers are not being heard? I don’t think so. Then why can’t it be possible for our loved ones who have passed on to also hear our prayers…..

Sometime this week pick a space or a room where you can be alone with your thoughts. Make it as comfortable as possible, and allow your heart and mind to open up. Before I do this I always say a prayer for God’s Love to surround me. Some people call this meditation…..a form of quiet to get in touch with your thoughts and feelings, and perhaps the thoughts and feelings of those loved ones who have passed on. Many here on earth use prayer and meditation as forms of communication with Heaven.

Once we lose a mother, a father, a child or a dear friend, the empty void that some feel can become overwhelming. Some may feel that their lives are over, that the meaning to move forward is gone. Even though the hurt may never totally go away, if we can find ways to bridge the distance between the “living” and the “dead” our own lives can be greatly enriched. The Big Picture becomes clearer.

We all have to come to terms with Death, in our lives. The pain of it, the unfairness of it…..why can’t we live forever? Why is life so temporary? Maybe it’s meant to be temporary….and “somewhere else” is the permanency we crave for. In the center of the Great Divide is a bridge we all must eventually walk across…a bridge that connects two worlds…and because of this link, was there ever really a separation?

A friend of mine recently shared his thoughts about what he feels life is all about here. He saw all of us in a great big waiting room at a train station with trains whizzing in and out. Every five minutes a man shows up at the door and calls out a list of names and then says “All Aboard,” while others arrive with suitcases in hand, and fill the empty seats in the waiting room. A station that is open 24 hours a day!! In and out, coming and going…….

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

One of the greatest mysteries we will face in our lifetime is the premise of Life, and Life after Death……the Great Divide….the barrier between this world and the next. Many on our planet see Death as the final chapter….even some who believe in God wonder sometimes. Could it be we have not learned as a society how to use other areas of perception to seek out the physical evidence or proof that some crave for? For example…a good murder mystery teaches us that the evidence to solve the crime is sometimes in the places where we least expect it. As technology evolves, and science incorporates tests like DNA, etc., the tools that we use to analyze evidence are advancing daily. What would once be disregarded as proof, over time, is embraced as fact. A hundred years ago the visionaries that saw airplanes, submarines, and a man walking on the moon were called “crazy.” Today, it is simply accepted as a way of life. When we lose a loved one, the first level of perception feels hurt and emptiness. The sense of loss is overwhelming. As the weeks roll by we go through the deceased belongings, possessions, and photographs, flooding us with memories, laughter and tears. Before my maternal Grandmother from California passed away she told me that she saw the monarch butterfly as a “free spirit.” A week to the day she died I was walking on Lexington Avenue in New York City, and suddenly “out of the blue” a monarch butterfly flew right in front of me. Was it a coincidence, or her way of sending me a message that she was okay? One thing I believe, the more open we allow ourselves to be, the more we see.

Faith does enter into the picture, and I believe in Heaven, but it is the sense of loss that we deal with here. Maybe we don’t really have to wait until we die to feel and experience our deceased loved ones. Energy doesn’t die…sometimes it just changes form. One day you could be walking through a room in your house and a feeling will come over you and you’ll ask yourself, “What was that?” just as you are thinking about someone who passed on. Another coincidence? Or perhaps one more clue to solving the mystery of Life.

As the years roll on and we look back and we start adding up all these little “coincidences” and experiences, with each one we come closer to bridging the “Great Divide.”…the area where this world and the next intertwine. I don’t have all the answers…..but I too have my collection of “coincidences,” and with each one my understanding and Faith grows. A great scene in the movie “Titanic” was when Rose finally died, her spirit returned to the Titanic where all her friends, including Jack, her beloved, were waiting to greet her. Jack told Rose on that fateful night, “Rose, I will never leave you.” He kept his promise.

Trust the Promise,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Discipline….what a strange word. Is it our friend or our enemy? Sometimes during the week it feels a little like both. How much do you drink, how much do you eat, how much do you spend, how much do you save?…..a barrage of questions that circle around us each day…and lo and behold it’s left to each one of us to come up with the magic formula that balances everything. Discipline….a strange shadow that follows us everywhere we go….reminding us when we stray too far…always there with a little tap, a little sigh, or a glancing stare. Discipline can be a voice inside of our heads, a comment by somebody close to us, or a stranger we pass on the street. I wonder though, how many dreams and goals can be accomplished without this funny little “friend” named Discipline, who gallantly comes along for the ride.

Some choose to ignore Discipline and push it into the corner of the room where the cobwebs gather, shrugging it off with not a care in the world, hoping it just goes away…but many times that is not to be. As we live, this little word begins to creep in to our families, our jobs, and our relationships until one day we come to a crossroads where we can go no further without it. Mutual respect is established.

What is Discipline? It can be many things. The rules you set down to live by…the food you eat everyday…prayer and meditation with God…the guidelines of your life. How important is it? Can a team win a championship without it? Can a building reach to the sky on a strong foundation without it? Can the Earth keep turning without it? Can Love be limitless without it?

Perhaps it’s meant to be that true Discipline has to be self-imposed, and can only last coming from within. It can be taught, it can be learned, but in the end the decision to implement it lays in our hands. Eventually, it is up to us to decide whether Discipline becomes our friend, or an enemy, but the value of its existence cannot be denied. We reap what we sow.

Tend your garden,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Have we truly lost track of right and wrong……a lie is no longer a lie, just someone’s “interpretation of the truth?” How long can a society stand on a foundation of untruths….how far are we off course from words like “honesty,” “justice,” and “unconditional love?” All one has to do is skim through the daily newspapers or monthly magazines and the truth is so in front of our faces that we can’t even see it anymore. A friend of mine recently said to me, “I’ve got to buy a couple of magazines so I know what to wear.” Another added “I am overdosing on scandals, murders, and bad news in general.” One year it’s O.J.Simpson, the next year it’s Jon Benet Ramsey, and this past year the White House Scandal. We have become so jaded by the daily rumors and body counts that many of us no longer care what happens, just that it eventually is over.

Which side is the right side? Is it my government, your government, the conservatives, the liberals, or just the “spin machine.” Each night an array of characters are paraded on television in front of our eyes, with degrees that stretch for miles. They truly have the correct insight, and anybody who differs from their opinion are either idiots or just plain stupid, in their view. After the O.J. Simpson trial just about everybody wrote a book on their interpretation of the trial, while nobody was held responsible for the killing of two innocent people. The little girl, Jon Benet Ramsey’s murder case, has also not been solved. There, too, nobody has been held responsible for her death. But walk in to any bookstore, and I’m sure you will find somebody’s point of view regarding her murder. Now we get to the latest scandal…President Clinton’s “activities.”

Last night, I, like many Americans, sat and watched Monica Lewinsky give her step by step account of her “relationship” with the President. In-between her giggles, her tears, and her revelations, I saw a young woman who is in way over her head, with no supportive system in place to tell her what she was doing was wrong. Have we clung to our political point of views so tightly that we no longer allow ourselves to be open-minded and view the larger picture? Down the road, what effect will these three cases have on our society in general? Can they be swept under the carpet, and for how long?

History has taught us that most societies decay from within….rarely from outside invasion. How long can a body live with a diseased heart or an infected brain? Is life-support our destination? I hope not. I pray a search is under way for a cure for our social dilemmas. One thing is for sure…..we have stretched the definition of right and wrong as far as it can go. I think deep down inside each one of us knows the difference….the challenge is to admit it.

Take the time to talk,
Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

So the saying goes, “If you are thrown from a horse, the best thing to do is to get right back in the saddle,” to limit the damage from fear. The same can be said for Life. Each day one of us embarks on a goal or challenge and as you well know nothing runs smoothly for very long in this world we live in. The plans or goals we set for ourselves, at the beginning look wonderful on paper, but the pitfalls and setbacks always seem to come when we least expect them. This is what I call “the failure zone.” The majority of missions end at this point.

In the “failure zone” havoc reigns. Every insecurity and fear pops up right in front of your eyes. Little voices start to echo through your brain, telling you things like “You’ve got to be kidding….this won’t work,” or, “Why don’t you crawl back under your rock and not come out again?” I remember recently reading an interview with actor Richard Gere, talking about his thoughts on why he became successful. Richard stated, “I learned early on in my career that when you screw up, just keep on going.” The significance here is that even when Richard picked bad movies, he just plowed ahead to the next step…he didn’t quit. Nor do we have to quit our endeavors. One thing we should always remember….history has taught us that anything that is vitally important, whether on a personal level or for society as a whole, not only takes courage and belief, but the expectation that something along the way will try to stop us. Once we accept this, we can prepare ourselves for the obstacles. There’s an old saying in the opera world….before an opera singer goes onstage, they always say,”Chase the wolf off the stage.” One could call it a superstitious phrase, but it is the realization that there are positive and negative forces that can affect performance.

For some, just getting out of bed each morning is a major undertaking. For others, walking through that door to work. The challenges are always there for us everyday. Our choice is either to face them, or turn away. I guess you could say, as you look out your window in the morning, is a wild untamed stallion staring at you, daring you to ride it? As you climb into the saddle, all hell breaks loose, but off you go, down the road….and after awhile the ride becomes smoother, but not until you’ve been thrown a few times, and as any good cowboy will tell you, eventually the cowboy and the horse become one. An unbreakable bond develops between the two. The Lone Ranger just had to whistle, for his horse Silver to come to his side. And let’s not forget his faithful friend Tonto, either. Sometimes it takes our friendships, our faith, and our courage to get back in the saddle and say:

“Hi-yo Silver, away!!!!”

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Picture life as a valley between two mountains. Within that valley is the soil that can grow Love, Hope, and Dreams. As we look upon our valleys do we like what we see? Is there room for more growth? You see, for things to grow in the valley of life it takes care, nurturing, and feeding. To get our valleys to be plentiful one cannot be afraid to get their hands dirty. The soil responds to hard work. If all we do is sit and watch, our valley becomes wild… undisciplined…. and before too long overcome by weeds. If care is given, the weeds cannot grow because upon sight we can remove the danger.

The valley can be a strange place with its own set of rules, but to be good gardeners we must respect those rules, for as we plant seeds we must know that the climate and the environment can affect the growth. It’s important that we share with each other knowledge of how to grow a greener valley, because all of our valleys are inter-connected. There are always people traveling through and in many cases leaving behind their thoughts and influences…sometimes good, sometimes not. The soil rewards those that plant well. It brings forth radiant colors that can been seen from miles away. To respect the soil, is to respect life. The Heavens provide the water that is needed in our valley….from it comes the rain that nourishes the green gardens and blossoming flowers. Without the clouds, even with hard work the flowers would stop blooming and before too long all that would be left would be dust.

If we are to enjoy the fruits of the valley, it takes a combined effort of earth, man and Heaven. Each one important to the health of the valley, for the fruit to be abundant. Heaven provides the sun and rain, the soil provides the foundation, and man provides the planting and harvesting. Yes there can be floods and catastrophes, but the valley can be repaired with the right amount of care and love.

Each day each one of us gets up in the morning and upon opening our eyes is the valley which we have created for ourselves. It doesn’t have to be perfect…perhaps it never will be, but the work on the soil is important because from it good seeds can grow. There is work to be done everyday in the valley…sometimes it’s hard, but by the end of the day, it feels real good to see the sun going down and the valley looking so much more alive.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Down the street from where I live is a high school athletic field. The man in charge of maintaining the field is named Bill. Bill has had this job for some twenty years, always making sure that the grass is cut, and the stands are clean for the festivities each Saturday. During the week as I pass by I always see the football team running their drills and working out while Bill looks on with a smile. At the local coffee shop, each morning Bill is guaranteed to enter at eight in the morning to pick up his two containers of java. He always has a kind smile, and a kind word for my three little dogs. One morning Bill sat down on a bench with me and shared a story I would like to pass on to you….

“Every year these muscular football types parade themselves onto the field thinking that they have all the answers” said Bill, “They look at me, a sixty-two year old man and say “Hey Pops, how’s it going?” I say “fine”, smile, and think to myself “Age is deceiving.” After school, as three o clock rolls around the football team begins their four mile jog. One day they asked “good old Bill” to join them. I said hey, why not? What they didn’t know is that Bill jogs around the field three miles a day. So the jog begins….the full squad of football players take off and leave me in the dust, snickering and laughing as they bolt ahead. I myself proceed ahead at my own pace…the same pace that I have maintained for the past seven years I’ve been running. As I carry on running, one by one I pass each member of the team…what they didn’t realize at the beginning was that the full burst of energy they showed was supposed to get them through the entire run. There is alot to be said for timing, pace, and endurance. Youth is a burst of energy…..but as we age hopefully we begin to understand that those bursts cannot be freely wasted.”

As Bill returned to the field he waited for the football squad to trickle in. They headed over to the bleachers where Bill was sitting and asked him, “Hey old man, how on earth did you do that?” Bill replied,”You may be stronger and faster than me, but without experience it’s hard to tell the beginning, the middle, and the end.” Bill also added, “I’ve learned in life you must neither go too fast, or too slow…the center becomes your friend….and the more you embrace that center the easier the journey.”

I think all of us somewhere along the line have met a person like Bill. Each story is a treasure.
Take the time to listen,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Each New Year, one of the first resolutions you read about is the “after the holiday diet” to shed those excessive pounds. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could eat to our hearts desire….but eventually we realize there is a price to pay for eating the wrong kinds of foods. One of the largest selling topics in the book world is the diet book. People spend large sums of money to take care of their physical appearance…no amount is too great for the perfect physique in a world where you can never be too thin. It’s everywhere…magazines, television, etc., telling us all how to look, how to dress…practically how to smile! But one thing is missing from all these suggestions …….how to “think.”

The greatest asset we have is our mind. How we develop our minds has an incredible affect on our quality of life. Our habits, jobs, education and role models have a profound affect on who we become. Where there is abuse of the mind, there is abuse of the soul. One of the worst crimes that a person can commit is to stop somebody from growing. We build prisons to lock people away physically, but how many people are imprisoned in dysfunctional families and abusive relationships? Yes, there are television programs and books on addictions, phobias, and family relationships, but how do all these problems begin? Two of the most important and hardest jobs in life is that of Mother and Father. They set up the structure of the family. They are the planters of the seeds that are to blossom and bear fruit. How do they learn to be parents? From their parents, of course. Everything works well if the structure is healthy…but once it is invaded by infection, if help is not administered to heal the wound the disease progresses. For example, alcoholism and drug abuse have been known to run havoc through families. These families have found that to them this is the best way to deal with pain. Growing up we’re all influenced by our friends, and communities. The family, for many of us, becomes the last line of defense. The stronger the family, the stronger the defense.

This week whether you’re a mother, father, sister or brother ask yourself, “What way can I make my family stronger?” In your marriage, friendships, and other relationships, also ask, “How can I help the communication and growth become better?” If you are being abused, seek help. You deserve better than that in life.

All of us have a responsibility to monitor and observe what we let into our minds, and those of our children, because eventually it becomes a part of who we are tomorrow. Develop your own filtering system…what’s “cool” and “hip” may not necessarily be good for you or your kids. Many times, unfortunate situations can be avoided if caught early. I’m all for freedom of speech, but it ultimately falls on each one of us on whether we accept an opinion or disagree with it. As we all know, we can hear a lousy song on the radio but after fifty million times of hearing it, it starts to sound “okay.”

Take the time,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon

Faith is the belief in Oneself and of a Greater Picture. Faith is the understanding that the world does not revolve around Us, but we revolve around It. Faith is the belief that we can be part of the Problem, and part of the Solution. Faith is seeing that there is a purpose to Life and a reason for its Existence. Faith is coming to terms with your own position in the Universe and how your actions affect its outcome. Faith is realizing that in the end, the Love that you’ve contributed is all that matters.

I believe that these are the intentions of why we are here. Perhaps one day we can all realize that God sees us as truly all His children and a wonderful Human Family that someday, hopefully, will understand that we are all Citizens of Heaven. Yes, I know many out there believe in different religions…what do we do with those who see things differently than us? Do we scorn them, persecute them, crucify them? Or do we embrace them, hold out our hands, and say “I know I don’t see the world the same way you do, but what do we have in common….and let us build upon that.” During the Cold War President Kennedy was asked, why do you even bother to listen to Chairman Kruschev of the Soviet Union? Kennedy replied “I don’t really have a choice….if I refuse to continue dialogue with the Chairman, it will simply be the end of the world.” To me, President Kennedy, in this case, could see that swallowing his pride and ego was vitally important for the safety of mankind. Each year the world is faced with the same dilemma. As we close out this millennium we look back on a century of two world wars, and far too many motherless children to mention. What have we learned?……What, we don’t really know.

As Faith enters the twenty-first century with tools such as the Internet, the Citizens of the World move closer in dialogue, thought and feeling. A person who subscribes to my newsletter recently shared with me a wonderful story. She and three other people enter a chat room each week on Saturday. They share their stories, jokes, tears and revelations. None of them know what each other looks like, but the Love between them grows week to week. These four people are from different parts of the world and in June, they will all meet together for the first time in London, England. Four people who perhaps would never have “met” and maybe would have even passed each other by on the street, now tell each other how they see the world and themselves. A wonderful case where minds meet before bodies.

Faith exists, Faith lives….Faith is the tool that God has given us to change the world.

Keep the Faith,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1999 Jennifer Avalon