There are quite a number of things that can affect the quality of each day….a meeting that doesn’t go according to plan, a bill that needs to be paid, etc., but one thing that seems to stand out above the rest is how we truly feel about ourselves. Our inner personal feelings act like a compass to show us which direction to take. The contents of those inner feelings and the mixture of those emotions fall on our shoulders. I know life is not perfect, and yes, bad things sometimes happen to good people, but overall how we look at and think about who we are and what we can do has a profound affect over our lives, and the lives of others.

We are deeply affected by how our parents feel about us. Also true is how siblings, family members, and friends view who we are to them. In a perfect world, with everything equal, where fairness reigns, there would be no need for concern of how all these people can impact on our lives…. but as you know, this world isn’t perfect and neither are we. Many of us so easily can get caught up in chasing the acceptance and affections of those we hold dear to us. In some cases, how other people feel about us becomes more important than how we feel about ourselves. Therein lies the case for emotional freedom. Love is a very powerful word that can be used in many different kinds of conversations. But in some cases I’m afraid we’re not talking about Love….but rather Control. There are some out there who use Control as a very destructive weapon. On the insecure and fearful, this can become a life-changing experience. Emotional thievery at the highest of levels. How you feel about yourself is replaced by how they feel about you. So sad, but so true in many cases. I know we do have good people in our lives, but it’s important to see the difference between those that give and those that just take.

A healthy heart and a healthy soul are the main ingredients to provide emotional freedom. It isn’t easy…it takes work…but each day you will find yourself moving closer to peace and tranquility. The things you have to let go of may be the hardest. Guilt, Anger, and Pain have to be shed and released to give room for Love, Hope, and Healing. I find tremendous strength in prayer. It is my way to connect with God, and find a better understanding of who I truly am. Others may find a deep conversation with a close friend or loved one…. but the main point is people that really love us are happy for us when we move ahead. And those that pretend to love us need to control, trap, and stagnate our growth. It is up to each one of us at certain points to re-evaluate the people around us…..a reality check. The truth shall set you free….

Take the time to love your self,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

At certain points in life it’s very important to stop, observe, and look forward. To continue on along the road of life some things have to be shed and left behind. It may not be easy, but in some cases vital to make certain choices to start new chapters and end others. In other words, closure. Flowing through our minds everyday are strands of memories that we use to chart the course to our future. We rely on these memories, some good, some bad, to help show us the mistakes we don’t want to repeat and offer guidance for the decisions we make on a daily basis. It’s never easy….but to evolve as a person is a necessity to keep life fresh and enlightening. To arrive at these decisions sometimes it may entail sharing your thoughts with a loved one or close friend, or spending time in prayer with God. Balance and Guidance is needed to allow the body and soul the energy that both require, to grow. We all have had those relationships that haunt us to this very day. It could be a bad experience during childhood or first experience with love that went wrong. We always seem to ask ourselves, “Maybe if I only had tried a little harder it could have worked out”…some people carry these thoughts with them to their dying day. Bad experiences are important if they are used to help us understand life a little better, but in many cases they are held onto like cherished battle scars that we don’t want to let go of. At some point for healing the door must be closed and the memories replaced. The more positive thoughts you let flow through your mind, the more you can accomplish. I have a friend named Eddie…he’s a mailman by trade. Recently Eddie mentioned to me he can’t believe where all the time went. This week he is retiring from his job of twenty years. He said “Jennifer, it feels like only yesterday that I was pitching baseballs in Little League which turned into me receiving a try-out to pitch for the New York Yankees. The day of the try-out I was very nervous…so nervous that I blew it. Can you imagine if I’d made a good impression that day, hey, I may have pitched for the Yankees! Been a star! But look what happened….I ended up being a mailman”. I said to Eddie, ” There’s nothing wrong with being a mailman”. “But”, Eddie replied, ” It’s not the Yankees”. The memories of those days haunt Eddie to this day…in some way it leaves him feeling like a failure. Isn’t it sad that from those days of Yankee try-outs on Eddie looks upon as wasted time. What he failed to mention to me is that he has a wonderful wife, with three beautiful, grown children. The haunted memories overshadow what matters most. If he only could have closed that chapter of baseball in his life it would have allowed him the vision to see the real contributions that he has made since then….to his family, friends, and to the neighborhood he has so valiantly delivered mail to these past twenty years. There are many Eddies out there….brave souls that feel one failure negates everything thereafter. Life comes upon us in stages and at the end of each stage some things are not meant to be carried forward. Like the river that flows to the sea, it’s important that the water not get blocked….but when an obstacle occurs a strong hand is needed to continue the journey. We all must at times clear the path and leave the past behind.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

I receive many letters each week from people telling me how they persevere through and overcome the obstacles that they face in life. Each obstacle that stands before us looks like a huge mountain that we seem incapable of climbing…but if you gaze across the land and look very carefully you can see many people climbing those mountains. It takes tremendous faith and conviction to press forward through all forms of weather that we face in this life…bless all of you who muster the courage to battle on.

Isn’t it interesting how easy it is to give up, roll over and quit in life? For every one reason to continue there are ten that tell us “Don’t bother”…..”Do you know what the odds are?”….”Are you crazy?” Well, some of the most important ideas and inventions have been created by people who were told at the time they were either crazy or dreamers. One example that comes to mind is Thomas Edison. Recently on a PBS Profile it was mentioned that Edison had to devise a way to market electricity for people to find it useful! He went to Wall Street to explain to the companies that it would be much safer and cost-effective for the lighting to be changed from gas lamps to electric. At first they thought “This guy is out of his mind”…..thank God he persevered to explain to them step by step what an important form of energy this could be. I believe there are other people like Thomas Edison out there today…and just as importantly, we need them to state their case….you never know, it just could be an idea that you have in your own mind.

While many of us try so hard to move onward and upward there seems to be so many naysayers. Everywhere you look there seems to be more re-enforcements for quitting than for trying….you start to believe, is all this work really worth it? Well if it’s to progress you or society forward it is worth it. Jealousy, rage, and anger comes in many different shapes and sizes….and I’m afraid to say sometimes the people closest to you have a hard time seeing you succeed. We are all damaged in different ways….some try to repair the bruises, others try to inflict them. That is why it takes courage to live. Any way you can, surround yourself with thoughts and people who can become a protective armor against the negativity and doubts that bombard you everyday. It can get you through some of the most trying times, but you will learn from those times….and press on.

It is so easy to be a nasty person…it takes a lot more courage to be kind and good.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Many of us chase our dreams, strive to accomplish our goals, and climb the mountains that stand before us. It’s wonderful to have expectations, but it’s also important not to set those expectations so high that they are almost
impossible to achieve.

If you follow the market on Wall Street, you’ll notice many times the head of a company having a meeting with analysts to help guide them in projections for the coming quarter and year. The company executives take it very seriously on how the analysts perceive the future of their companies. Take a company like Microsoft…they usually beat their earnings number by at least three to four cents per share, but if you listen, each quarter Microsoft is notorious for “talking down” the expectations of the future. In doing so, the estimates are attainable. Another case in point was a recent interview with singer/songwriter Billy Joel on the CBS series “60 Minutes.” The interviewer asked Billy Joel, “Are you a happy man these days?” Billy replied, “I may not be totally happy, but there is an awful lot to be said for contentment…I feel I’m in a good place in my life.”

Many of us strive to be happy….but it’s so important to set realistic levels in our lives that are also attainable. I don’t feel that it is realistic to believe that I will receive EVERYTHING that my heart desires in this life. If I look at the top of a mountain, and I set out to reach it, I may be only able to go halfway….and when I reach the halfway point and look up, I may feel like a failure, but when I look down and see how far I’ve come, I can say “Oh boy!” Same thing applies with the worst case scenario. Some days everything seems to go wrong….but that night when you look back somewhere inside all of the turmoil appears a silver lining….a reason for why you went through that turmoil and what was learned. In our world today there is number one, while everyone else is a loser. That is an unacceptable premise to me…it is geared to failure. It’s just fine being number two, ten, or one hundred, because what those numbers also represent is some level of success. So somewhere inside the distance between one and a million sits many of us.

While you set your goals look to a level that is possible. Realize it all comes down to one step at a time, bit by bit, inch by inch. But those inches and bits all add up, and in that exists all possibilities. If you don’t accomplish all you want in life, but you do find success in quite a few endeavors, like Billy Joel, you may also say “I may not be totally happy, but there is an awful lot to be said for contentment…I feel I’m in a good place in my life.”

Enjoy the journey,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

There’s a lot to be said for Passion. I guess I could define it and
mention its meaning to me, but the best way perhaps is to tell it in the form
of a true story.

My father’s passion for most of his life has been his love for sailing. He built his first boat at the age of eight…and from then on the love for boats and the life of the sea flowed through his veins and never diminished. Like many of us, he too tried to push away the calling of his passion….he tried different kinds of work, but time and time again, his love for the sea kept beckoning. When he first married my mother he went to work for a semi- conductor manufacturer. Money was good, but each day he was called upon to perform tasks that went against what he considered his calling. Year by year he continued at his job, and his family grew to include four children. I remember each night him coming home exhausted, having little energy left to devote to his children. It wasn’t his fault…to him a man had to provide regardless of whether he liked what he was doing or not. Most week-ends he would rush out to his beloved boats to enjoy and recharge his batteries. We as children didn’t know what was going on, but I guess somewhere inside we knew he was hurting. Eventually that hurt caught up to him in the form of a bleeding ulcer. After half of his stomach was removed he turned to my mother and said “I’ve had enough”.

Thus began the journey to fuse his passion for sailing and providing enough income for himself and his family. He tried a few different lines of work before arriving at the ultimate answer….Selling Boats! As I look back I can see that my father found much peace when he began his own boat business. I can say that the business has become very successful, but why wouldn’t it be? True passion is not work. It’s a wonderful thing to dream, set goals, and embrace our passion….but I know we live in the real world, and bills have to be paid. Maybe somewhere within life is the possibility to combine economic stability and our blessed gifts. One thing that’s for sure is that following your passion involves taking risks….but, the greatest risk of all is not even trying. That can develop into anger, pain and bitterness, which can be inflicted internally and on others. The saddest thing of all is to look back on our lives at the end and say “If only….”. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Listen to your heart,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

Each morning we rise, gather our thoughts, and prepare for the day ahead. We shower, select our clothes and head off to the breakfast table for the nourishment that we need to start our day. We search for ways to shake off the sleep that clouds our eyes…it could be the morning newspaper, or just a casual conversation with a loved one. What we truly are going through is the preparation for what awaits us outside the front door. Upon opening that front door, at any given moment we can be bombarded with positive or negative forces….so each morning we start to select the armor that we need to fight the battles of the day.

We live in a world of all different kinds of people, with each one choosing how to look at a given opportunity or problem. Recently I had an interesting conversation with a friend where she told me a story that troubled her. She was waiting at the bus-stop on her way to work. It was a rainy day so there were about three or four people in front of her in line. As the bus stopped to let passengers on my friend wanted to board the bus as quickly as possible so she wouldn’t get wet. Suddenly the busdriver said to her “Stay out there on the curb”. My friend replied “Could you please let us on the bus so we can get out of the rain?” The busdriver answered “I don’t really care if you get wet…that’s not my problem.” In the busdriver’s mind he had his own system for how people should board and exit his bus. The passengers waiting to get on the bus had no idea what was going on. After a little commotion all safely boarded the bus. My friend could not shake the thoughts of how she had been treated by the busdriver. I met her shortly before she entered her place of employment, and she said to me “This has just about ruined my whole day.” She was shaking with anger. Upon hearing the story I replied “Every morning each one of us go about our day…the chances of everything going according to plan every time is close to impossible. To expect it is not being realistic.” All of a sudden a look of relief came over her face…her expectation and the pressure she had put on herself had been lowered. She said to me “Thanks for listening…I guess I may have blown things out of proportion.”…and I replied “Don’t we all?”

Most of us wear all kinds of armor everyday to deflect the arrows that are shot at us. There is tremendous strength in having the right outlook and protection against the forces that try to hurt us. Yet sometimes because of how we react to things the forces can be internal. There are many things we don’t have any control over….but our outlook and determination to fight on, that we do have a say in. Deflecting those arrows that seem to strike at the worst moments is one of the keys to finding inner peace and happiness. It’s so important that we find and maintain the love and compassion within us, which really can give us the strongest armor of all. That is why in life you can never have too much Love and too much Tranquility. It may come from prayer, a loved one, or a close friend. Wherever the source, breathe it in our bodies and souls cannot get enough.

Take the time to love, fellow warriors,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We’ve all experienced emotions from people under the disguise of Love. As children, many of us were chastised, sometimes as we were told “This is for your own good.” Well, in many cases it is left up to the discretion of parents and loved ones to decide what discipline is needed and under what circumstances it applies. Some parents do a wonderful job…they provide the foundation and atmosphere needed to stimulate growth and personal well-being, but others, I’m afraid, as many of us know, have no idea how to raise children. In our society we learn from experiences….the giving and receiving of Love in life is something that we accumulate along the way. If the Love is positive it sends us off on a path that can be both rewarding and enlightening. If the disguised Love is negative, we enter a doorway of abuse and torment. These are the two main roadways we travel upon in life. As we continue on our journey, depending on the roadway traveled the weather either becomes clearer or stormier.

As we enter adolescence our exposure to Love expands. Many of us fall in and out of Love throughout our teenage years…those memories, for myself included, are carried with us all through our lives. All of these experiences are stored in memory banks within our minds…they are the pool of knowledge that we draw on to decide what is Love and what isn’t. As we continue on our journey we constantly add and subtract to these files of memory…to better understand, from our perspective, what we truly are experiencing.

This is all a wonderful picture if the knowledge and Love is powerful and positive. But problems start to arise with each successive negative experience. Our minds start having difficulties differentiating between the good and the bad. Therein lies, for many of us, the greatest challenge of life….how to learn from our experiences, retaining the positive and learning not to repeat the negative. This becomes more and more important as we evolve into developing new relationships and starting families of our own. The student becomes the teacher. Each teacher imparts knowledge from their own experience.

If we look at our cities, states, and countries many of the problems that exist have been brought about in one form or another by the lack of Real Love. Pockets of people searching for reasons why they feel in pain and alone. Their anger and sadness convinces them to strike out at the society that they feel has abandoned them. Yes there are rules and laws we all have to learn to live by, but a wounded heart has a hard time hearing any message.

Take care of those you love, offer help when needed, give from the heart. This is how the seeds of Real Love are planted. You know, not only are germs and disease contagious….but the spores of Real Love can travel far and wide….across many borders and boundaries. In the words of John Lennon, “You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one….I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one.”

Take the time to love

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

How many of us have a problem letting our hearts and souls be replenished with happiness, security, contentment and joy? With so many roles we play each day in society it’s so easy to put up the barriers and assume a defensive posture. Yes, we do have to protect ourselves but does that have to entail closing off the pathways into our hearts? A recent conversation I had with a friend touched upon these concerns. She told me that whenever she did something for herself that made her happy, quickly that happiness turned into doubt and then guilt. It was very hard for her to allow the full experience of joy to fill her heart. She actually believed she was not “worthy” of these feelings. Now my friend is a beautiful person….if that can happen to her, it must happen to many. Today in society we are so bombarded with negativism, it has become an accepted solution to many problems. It’s so easy to give up and not try to improve a situation.

Joy and happiness are wonderful things…they give us energy to battle through troubling times. Everyday we fill up our reserve fuel tanks with energy…what kind of energy we put there is really our decision. Anger and fear provide negative energy….but for many of us there is no limit to the level of anger and fear we allow to fill our consciousness. It does matter what you think and feel. It does affect the quality of your life and others. Positive energy comes from laughter, love, hope, and peace. It puts you in a relaxed state to reflect and enjoy yourself and the world around you. Some find these feelings threatening, because it’s so much harder to control a person who feels complete and loved.

Empowerment is one of the greatest gifts to give oneself. Joy and love are some of the positive fuels that will help you move forward and strive. Accept the things that you need to propel you into the existence that can be beneficial to your life. Let them fill your heart and soul….you can never have too much positive energy. Look around you, and look above…you may be surprised, the answers may be right there in front of you. Spread your arms and let it in.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We all make choices everyday. We react and assert ourselves to everything that occurs to us….we then in turn, through our actions, express to the world who we are, and what we want to be. It’s kind of strange really, but in the short term many of us tend to focus on the negative things that happen to us, but as we look back we start to understand why things happen the way they do. I guess it’s important to look upon problems and mistakes as a learning process so we can grow and try not to make the same mistake twice. Every one of us in one way or another is accountable for our actions…what you say, and what you do to others does have a cause and effect. Each one of us has not only the power to affect our own lives, but also the lives of others. We may not think it, but we do.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each time somebody did something nice or kind to us we would automatically turn and do an act of kindness to another? Yes I know in this day and age in some corners kindness and consideration are looked upon as weakness….when in reality they are strength. It’s very easy to become enraged and inflict hurtful words and acts upon people. In these cases there is no need for control or rules of life to acknowledge. Kindness and Love, on the other hand, on a continuous basis, are much harder to accomplish because they involve a lot of thought and an overcoming of rage and uncontrollable anger. Being kind to someone else has an interesting benefit. It not only makes the other person feel good, but leaves a warm feeling in your own heart. It gives you a sense that your life matters…you have the ability through your actions and thoughts to help others…isn’t that a wonderful thing? I think all of us are in some strange way “athletes of the heart”…. we are all relay runners. We start the race and somewhere along the line we have to pass the baton on to the next runner, and hope that they run their leg of the race as well or better than we ran ours. Why is this important? Because the human race can only win if we perform well as a whole. We are not separated here…we are all inter-connected….so an act of kindness to someone else also benefits you and me.

I believe God put each one of us here to find out who we are and learn how to Love others. If all we do is allow the ego to rule, we fail. Brotherhood and Sisterhood are very important words. It’s up to every one of us to let them live in our hearts. No act of kindness is too small. The next time somebody smiles or says hello don’t be afraid to smile back. Lord knows, this world needs more smiling faces!

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon

We all come into this world as pure loving souls….creatures that upon entering, through the senses, instantaneously start taking in information. Even at an early age, we start developing internal rules to live by…..influences that shape our thoughts and dreams. As we grow each year the knowledge and experiences start to take on layers around an initial core that is the center of who we are. Progressing through life, we continually add layer upon layer as ways to accumulate a form of library and protection as a reference for us to move forward.

Think of your life as an onion….as you can see, there is the seed in the center and spiraling around it are the skins or layers. As the onion grows the layers are also increased. Why is it when we peel away the layers of an onion, we cry? And in many cases when we peel away our own layers, tears are also shed….the foundation of what we truly are is the core and as we live we add good layers and bad layers. Many times with all these skins around us we forget that the pure child (core) stays within us until our passing.

I recently had a conversation with a friend, and we were exchanging words to express what we thought about certain issues. After about fifteen minutes both of us began to realize that certain words had different meanings to each other. Isn’t it interesting…we both spoke the same “language”, but within that language it was so easy to be mis-understood. As a human family we have so many barriers…language, race, religion, emotions, etc. It’s so easy for conflict to occur. No wonder people take each other the wrong way.

As we live our lives adding these layers that accumulate within us it’s important to take time to peel them back to see the core of who we truly are, because with all the information floating around out there some of our most important thoughts and feelings sometimes get lost within the layers. I often end my messages with the words “Take the time to love”….the word “time” is very important, because in this busy world to stop and listen is vital to truly experience love. The ultimate human experience is to surround the core with Love.

Take the time to love,

Jennifer Avalon
© 1998 Jennifer Avalon